tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post4649016703443357282..comments2023-11-03T04:57:11.073-04:00Comments on Romance Bandits: Can Men and Women Just Be Friends? Let's See What Sam Says...Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02217492654108300014noreply@blogger.comBlogger84125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-19241144442877259732010-05-06T09:32:06.628-04:002010-05-06T09:32:06.628-04:00Grace, I really like your take on that. I agree.
...Grace, I really like your take on that. I agree. <br /><br />Jo, hi, thanks :) So true -- we're all individuals, which is why we can't ever generalize about anything. People are all different, will react differently to every situation. And why these age-old questions are never really answered, because it's never the same for everyone. :)<br /><br />Mariska, sounds like we're on the same wavelength. :) Thanks for coming by. :)<br /><br />Writergirl, ouch. Doesn't sound like *everyone* was happy -- I had that happen (I was on the other side of it, though) and while my life has been all the better for it, and better to get people like that out of your life, but it's not happy at the time, that's for sure. Hard to lose a friend and a marriage at the same time.<br /><br /><br />limecello, no worries, I have been late all day, LOL. But I agree with you, I think we can be just friends, too.<br /><br />Tawny, I am so bad -- I kind of would like them thinking "well, maybe..." LOL. The same way we like to flirt with someone, but nothing comes of it. It's kind of nice to know someone finds you attractive, though not let it disrupt your life, you know?<br /><br />Fedora, it can go the opposite as well -- I know guys I was attracted to or had dated, and that kind of never "took" and we knew we were just meant to be friends. So it can be in the reverse as well -- good to see you here!<br /><br />Laurie, interesting on the "ick" factor. I think that could be because we see good friends almost as siblings, as family members, not as potential lovers. So, some male friends are like brothers, and that kind of gets rid of any "attraction."<br /><br />Thanks for the great discussion, folks!<br /><br />SamSamantha Hunterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16157782004330397720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-26673003446441824562010-05-06T05:38:23.175-04:002010-05-06T05:38:23.175-04:00I think that men & women can be friends. I hav...I think that men & women can be friends. I have a lot of male friends that I am not interested in romantically and vice versa. I'm still friends with a gut I dated in HS.<br /><br /> People have to have integrity, know right from wrong. If someone is married they are OFF LIMITS! Trust is a huge issue in any marriage.Laurie Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12533221100348874087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-16685933735934865172010-05-06T02:29:10.248-04:002010-05-06T02:29:10.248-04:00Hi Laurie :-)
I agree. And if the guy's theo...Hi Laurie :-)<br /><br />I agree. And if the guy's theory holds and all guys harbor sexual interest, only turned off if they are currently in a relationship, then that undercurrent is probably always there. We women, it seems, just seem to be lucky enough to not notice it LOL.Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-82068767261884858442010-05-06T02:27:01.339-04:002010-05-06T02:27:01.339-04:00Fedora :-) YAY, you made it *g*
I think your poin...Fedora :-) YAY, you made it *g*<br /><br />I think your points are really great ones. Relationships, even as simple of ones as 'friendship' are complicated things and they do get murky and weird with the added layer of sexual tension, jealousy, etc. <br /><br />I think its so sweet that you snagged your best friend :-) It seems to be another theme here today -that the friendship is vital in marriage!Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-69556403771345971272010-05-06T01:47:43.189-04:002010-05-06T01:47:43.189-04:00I think men and women can be just friends if there...I think men and women can be just friends if there is no sexual attraction between them. I have male friends that are just like brothers and thinking about them in a more intimate way has that ick factor. But if there is an attraction, then that thought of something more, whether it's acted on or not, is always going to be present.<br /><br />Back in my younger days I did have male friends who wanted more than friendship but I had my guy. :)<br /><br />Great blog, Sam and Tawny!Laurie Loganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08957432244479640433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-86025469772417761732010-05-06T01:20:35.271-04:002010-05-06T01:20:35.271-04:00Way late to the party, Tawny and Sam! I love, LOV...Way late to the party, Tawny and Sam! I love, LOVE the friends-to-lovers theme. As for real life, I think that it's not impossible for men and women to just be friends, but it's hard. At some point, one or the other can develop romantic feelings, and it's hard to work through. Also, I think it's hard to avoid complicating feelings if you are already in a relationship, and that person can feel jealous of your closeness with a friend of the opposite sex. I'm not saying that that's right, but it's part of reality. So... possible, yes! And yes, I think that those friendships can make a really wonderful basis for a deeper relationship. I'm blessed to have snagged one of my best friends, after all :D<br /><br />Congrats on the GR, mariska!Fedorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10879033776125666713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-36545704309631824792010-05-06T01:15:46.442-04:002010-05-06T01:15:46.442-04:00Hey Lime :-) Better late than never!!! I'm gl...Hey Lime :-) Better late than never!!! I'm glad you came by :-)<br /><br />You know, I definitely had some aha moments with today's blog, but the one thing that stands out in a big way is that it's a choice. Yes, men and women can be friends. One or the other might wish it was a little more, but as long as boundaries are in place, if the person wants to be a friend, they'll accept those boundaries.<br /><br />Or, well, you know, if they want to hang out and wait just in case the boundaries change *g*Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-88713887503150580862010-05-06T01:12:53.748-04:002010-05-06T01:12:53.748-04:00WriterGirl, great example of poor boundaries and b...WriterGirl, great example of poor boundaries and bad choices *g* And people who can't resist being 'more than friends'.Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-11412729184969064422010-05-06T01:05:37.960-04:002010-05-06T01:05:37.960-04:00Pissenlit, I won't even tell you where my mind...<i> Pissenlit, I won't even tell you where my mind went with you talking 3somes *ggg*<br /><br />*spluttersnickersnort* Oh dear. :D </i><br /><br />LOLTawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-34271209610530039832010-05-06T01:04:56.174-04:002010-05-06T01:04:56.174-04:00Mariska, I think boundaries are vital, and it soun...Mariska, I think boundaries are vital, and it sounds like you have a great handle on them :-)Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-52519907866174896502010-05-06T01:00:42.452-04:002010-05-06T01:00:42.452-04:00Jo, it's all about balance, isn't it?
a...Jo, it's all about balance, isn't it? <br /><br />and balance is so hard to achieve.Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-76184628302327609952010-05-06T01:00:15.811-04:002010-05-06T01:00:15.811-04:00Ms Hellion, other than the famous restaurant scene...Ms Hellion, other than the famous restaurant scene, I haven't actually seen When Harry Met Sally (bad me, I know) but thats pretty much what my husband said, too. He, all the guys in his shop, and P226 LOL. <br /><br />But... here's my question. Yes, a guy might be hanging out and being a friend because somewhere in the back of his brain he's thinking 'maybe, someday' but... he's still being a friend, right? So the friendship can exist, even though the guy's might have an ulterior hope lurking? <br /><br />And we blithely ignore it *g*Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-5201708686484777712010-05-06T00:58:02.091-04:002010-05-06T00:58:02.091-04:00Oh Grace, what a lovely way to sum up one of the j...Oh Grace, what a lovely way to sum up one of the joys of reading romance novels :-) Thanks for that, reading it made me feel really happy :-)Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-66495688541967377452010-05-05T23:25:41.845-04:002010-05-05T23:25:41.845-04:00Oooo so I'm a little late to the party, but th...Oooo so I'm a little late to the party, but this is a fantastic post, Sam and Tawny! And hi Sam - thanks for visiting with us today :)<br /><br />As for just friends? I say yes. Maybe at some point you might like him or he might like you- but nothing HAS to come of it. Especially if you grew up with the person of the opposite sex. (I think when you met him/her matters.) But... long story short, in general, yes, guys and girls *can* be just friends. In fact right now all my guy friends are just friends. Nothing shady or scandalous going on here! :Plimecellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16331447498798826649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-84898740847527781512010-05-05T22:54:06.950-04:002010-05-05T22:54:06.950-04:00I thought men and women could just be friends. I ...I thought men and women could just be friends. I had several male friends who were married and I was also friends with their wives. Until a male friend of mine ended up getting divorced to be with another friend of ours. I had even told her not to go after him because he was married! Oh well, as long as everyone is happy!!WriterGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16638933629251590062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-6091298560501231512010-05-05T22:24:56.972-04:002010-05-05T22:24:56.972-04:00Tawny - Pissenlit, I won't even tell you where...Tawny - <i>Pissenlit, I won't even tell you where my mind went with you talking 3somes *ggg*<br /><br /></i>*spluttersnickersnort* Oh dear. :DPissenlithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15652379987538733088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-33338820863360094322010-05-05T21:20:08.361-04:002010-05-05T21:20:08.361-04:00Wiee.. i love this "no, we could never just b...Wiee.. i love this "no, we could never just be friends." So Sweet :)<br /><br />i have more male friends than girls, coz i feel much cozy to be with them than with the girls. <br /><br />i make my self clear that if i want to be a friend with them then i will be friend not more than that. And that's what i always do.<br /><br />it'd different story with my DH. we're lover from the beginning. so no friend things between us :)<br /><br />one more thing, friends to lovers are one of my favorite plot !mariskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10540813942094048626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-60598124879824354422010-05-05T21:15:30.344-04:002010-05-05T21:15:30.344-04:00Hi, Samantha, welcome to the Lair.
I love friends...Hi, Samantha, welcome to the Lair.<br /><br />I love friends to lovers stories. They just warm something inside me.<br /><br />As to the reality of it, I guess it depends on the people involved. Often one "friend" feels like more of a friend than the other, and of course, then the complications begin!jo robertsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16824237193217632098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-30303705844005523102010-05-05T21:00:33.778-04:002010-05-05T21:00:33.778-04:00Actually P226 said it better than me. THAT is actu...Actually P226 said it better than me. THAT is actually my belief system; and I thank When Harry Met Sally for it.<br /><br />There's that scene where Harry and Sally are discussing this, and Sally says she has men friends. "No, you don't," he says. And then she says, "A man can be friends with a woman he wasn't physically attracted to" and he said, "No, you pretty much want to nail them too." <br /><br />That is the essence of male nature right there! *LOL* I just think they're better at hiding it because if we really knew or understood how much sex occupies their minds, we'd never sleep with them at all...and then where would they be?Hellie Sinclairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03933713255844695337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-54528617761468640872010-05-05T20:54:58.927-04:002010-05-05T20:54:58.927-04:00I absolutely believe that the reason we love to re...I absolutely believe that the reason we love to read romance is that we love the emotion of falling in love so deeply. It's safe and fun to do it vicariously with no risk involved. I don't have any desire to "start over" with someone new in order to experience falling in love, but it's so fun in a book or watching a movie, and it can heat things up at home, too!<br /><br />Friends to lovers is my all-time favorite. And I think that you can be just friends, but I know for me, most men I really like, there is that little tiny bit of attraction on my side (don't want to know if they feel it DANGER!) but nothing is going to happen about it, and I'd never say a work. I think it's fine.Grace Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456018521865817222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-47136865883448660682010-05-05T20:50:52.854-04:002010-05-05T20:50:52.854-04:00btw, LOL Pat on the Blaze thing. I totally screwed...btw, LOL Pat on the Blaze thing. I totally screwed that up, didn't I? I was checking gmail for the Blaze Authors blog and forgot to log out, then didn't think twice when I commented here. Big oops.Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-10099420222092173842010-05-05T20:48:56.441-04:002010-05-05T20:48:56.441-04:00Runner, I think getting another perspective is alw...Runner, I think getting another perspective is always a great thing!Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-75762056024561006692010-05-05T20:48:29.108-04:002010-05-05T20:48:29.108-04:00Helen, I highly recommend Sam's books :-) I ho...Helen, I highly recommend Sam's books :-) I hope you'll check them out!! <br /><br />and I think you nailed it -so much comes down to what relationship a person is already in. If they have a loving, respectful one with a partner, all those pings Nancy mentioned are easy to ignore :-)Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-17631736493642207632010-05-05T20:47:04.173-04:002010-05-05T20:47:04.173-04:00Karyn... read lots of Blazes :-) I like that answ...Karyn... read lots of Blazes :-) I like that answer!!! Fantasies are a good thing ;-) <br /><br />This has been such a fun discussion, the range of answers have really made me think and consider.Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3815530646091177574.post-42376784051904198332010-05-05T20:44:32.161-04:002010-05-05T20:44:32.161-04:00Anna, you definitely want to check out Sam's b...Anna, you definitely want to check out Sam's books :-) They are wonderful!Tawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14076851566613018105noreply@blogger.com