by Joan Kayse
I am a child of television.
I confess, I do watch or at least listen to a fair amount of it. What can I say? I was raised in the era of programming expansion. My parents had just gotten used to grainy black and white pictures of Milton Berle when Panavision was invented. They never dreamed they’d be able to watch programs in color and to get reception from the moon? Unthinkable.
I still remember how my parents let my brother and I stay up to watch the broadcast of Neil Armstrong stepping onto the moon. History was being made and I saw it live.
Television brought world events to my living room in Kentucky..nightly broadcasts of the Vietnam War, the protests, the bra burning. The cultural revolution was unfolding on our small screen. I was a kid. I didn't understand what all that was about but it impacted me.
But I also remember curling up every Sunday night, after my bath, snug in my jammies to watch “Wild Kingdom” and “The Wonderful World of Disney”. I was safe and secure in my living room while Marlin Perkins wrestled giant anacondas to the ground….or rather sent his trusty sidekick Jim in to do it. (Wonder if ‘ole Jim got extra pay??)
Miniseries were big for a time. “Roots”, “The Winds of War”, “North and South” (minus Richard Armitage). Sagas told over the span of five days. Books brought to life, given faces, making an impact, leaving impressions.
Then Cable TV was invented. The first thing I watched when my parents got it was “The Blue Lagoon”. Pretty risqué business in the early eighties to see semi nude Brooke Shields flinging around that lagoon. Now you can access hundreds of stations and lots more skin if you have the money to pay for all that opulence. I could and have watched The Food Network for hours! Yes
, I learned the art of cheesecake making from Good Eats.
Even with all the choices out there I still find myself gravitating toward the classics: I Love Lucy, Andy Griffith, Dick Van Dyke. Not a lot of meaning or deep psychological implications in these simple but entertaining shows (save for the AG episode with Opie and Winkin, Blinkin and Nod...sniff). Barney Fife was one of a kind. Watch the "Checkpoint Chickie" episode and not laugh. I dare you! Nobody has neighbors like Ethel and Fred and a boss as hilarious as Alan Brady? Thank goodness for TVLand!
What about you? What were some of your favorite shows? Which was the funniest? Golden Girls? Wings? The Cosby Show?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
The Television Generation
Monday, May 12, 2008
Brenda Novak's in the Lair!
Guest of Jo Robertson
Today we're so lucky to have my good friend and all-time wonderful person Brenda Novak returning to visit us. Brenda will talk about her new trilogy that's coming out this spring and summer as well as discuss her annual Juvenile Diabetes Auction, which began May 1 and continues through May 31. It is doing fabulously already. Pop on over to http://www.brendanovak.com/ and check it out. There's something for everyone.- And don't forget to check out Week 1's prizes below in the one-year anniversary of the Banditas!
Now heeeeeeerrrre's Brenda!
As a writer, I always get asked whether I write from personal experience. In ways, I do, and the new series I’m kicking off this summer is a perfect example of that. TRUST ME (May 27th), STOP ME (June 24th) and WATCH ME (July 29th) are based on a fictional victim’s charity in Sacramento called The Last Stand. The three heroines met at a victims' support group after each one experienced a different kind of violence. They’re determined to heal, to fight back and to help others do the same, which is why they decide to start The Last Stand.
Trust Me (The Last Stand Trilogy, Book 1)
In TRUST ME, Skye Kellerman was attacked in her own bed. She managed to fend off her knife-wielding assailant, but now her would-be rapist is getting out of prison. Early. And Skye knows that Dr. Oliver Burke hasn’t forgotten what her testimony cost him.
In STOP ME, widower Romain Fornier lost his reason for living the day his daughter was kidnapped and murdered. When the killer got off on a technicality, he used a gun to mete out his own justice. Now that he’s out of prison and free to return to his Cajun roots, the last thing he wants to learn is that he might've killed the wrong man. But that’s exactly what Jasmine Stratford of The Last Stand has come all the way from California to tell him.
Stop Me (Last Stand, Book 2)
In WATCH ME, Sheridan Kohl was just a teenager parked at the lake with a boy named Jason when a stranger wearing a ski mask shot them
both. Sheridan lived, but Jason died—and the stranger was never caught. Twelve years later, Sheridan has learned a thing or two about investigating crime. She returns to her hometown, intent on achieving answers at last. But someone doesn’t want the truth to come out. Someone who is willing to resort to murder. Again.
Watch Me (Last Stand, Book 3)
While my fictional charity is geared toward violent crime, because I write romantic suspense and thought it would be fascinating to see these women tackle some very interesting and difficult cases, the concept of using personal passion to motivate came from my own desire to make a difference to those struggling with diabetes.
Six years ago, when my youngest son was diagnosed with Type 1, I felt hurt and wanted to fight back, too. Desperately. I just didn’t know how. I had five kids at home and some very tight book deadlines. B
ut then I attended a silent auction at the local elementary school and realized that I could do a similar event on my Web site, where I could utilize the traffic I’d already established.
In my first three auctions, I managed to raise a combined total of $250,000, and the 2008 auction looks as if it will at least match that amount. A shopper’s paradise, it will have plenty of items to fit every budget from a drumhead signed by a whole slew of famous music artists (Michael Jackson, Ringo Star
r, Bruce Springstein, and far too many others to list) to a treasure trove of miscellaneous items donated by aspiring author Lauren Hawkeye. And that’s not all. For those who are aspiring to become a novelist or to advance their writing career, there will be AMAZING opportunities. Many of the most powerful agents and editors in the business have donated evaluations—some with the promise of a 24-hour response (which is unheard of in the publishing industry).
How does it all work? Just like E-Bay, except this auction runs at www.brendanovak.com/ and only through the month of May (May 1 – May 31st). Visit that URL to register. When the bidding is over, you can pay with Paypal, credit card or personal check/money order. In most instances the donor even picks up the shipping. And the person who places the highest number of bids over all, even if that person doesn’t win a single item, will receive a fabulous prize package including a brand new camcorder (worth over $1,000), Your Name in My Next Book, an autographed copy of TRUST ME, and chocolate (lots of chocolate!).
Check out the auction, and while you’re at my Web site, enter to win a spectacular trip to Port Orchard and Bainbridge Island (sponsored by Allison Brennan, Debbie Macomber, Susan Wiggs and myself), and receive a $10 gift certificate you can use toward your auction purchases.
Here's to making a difference!
Brenda Novak
What cool items have you won in past charity auctions? Do you think this “wave of the future” will eventually overtake traditional fundraising? Do you prefer on-line shopping to brick & mortar shopping?
Thanks for joining us today, Brenda. Readers, be sure to check out Brenda's auction and leave a comment on today's post to be eligible to win an autographed copy of Brenda's May 27 release TRUST ME, the first in her Last Stand trilogy.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Week 1 Winners!
We've come to the end of Week 1 of our month-long anniversary celebration, so you know what that means. That's right -- prize winners!
Drum roll please...
Prize 1 of a Bandita mug and T-shirt from Kirsten Scott; $10 Borders card and a pretty bookmark from Nancy Northcott; and a signed copy of Every Night I’m Yours from Christie Kelley goes to:
Sabrina
The weekly giveaway of a critique of a first chapter (not to exceed 30, double-spaced pages) courtesy of Christie Kelley goes to:
Margay
Congratulations, ladies! E-mail me at trishmilburn AT yahoo DOT com with your mailing address and preferred e-mail address for contact to claim your prizes.
Don't forget to keep the comments coming because we have even more prizes to give away. Up for grabs this week:
Kate Carlisle -- Romance Bandits baseball cap and Sees Candy suckers
Christine Wells -- signed copy of Scandal's Daughter and a Dangerous Duke journal
KJ Howe -- $10 Barnes & Noble gift card
Weekly giveaway of critique of first chapter (not to exceed 30, double-spaced pages) courtesy of KJ Howe
Annie's Goodies!!!
Thank you to everyone who made Annie West's visit on Saturday such an incredible party. We had such fun!
Annie was so blown away by the amazing response to her blog that she's decided to give out TWO prizes to people who commented. See? It's always worth talking back to a Bandita!
The winners are:
Carol!!!!
And Bandita Jo!!!!
Could you both please email Annie at annie@annie-west.com with your snail mail details and she'll get your signed copies of the fantabulous THE GREEK TYCOON'S UNEXPECTED WIFE away to you? Congratulations!
The Mother of all Days
1. My head hurts.
2. If my head has to hurt this much, at least it was in a good cause--Champagne and canapes by the river with great company; my first night out sans enfants in about 6 months.
4. It's Mother's Day. Oh.
nearly bowled me over. They were grubby and happy and we celebrated Mother's Day with fairy cakes decorated by my 5yo and more Champagne (for the adults, of course). You know that thing about the hair of the dog? It works.When I think about the mother/child relationships in fiction that really resonate with me, they're the relationships built on a foundation of deep, abiding love but the superstructure is anything but stable and predictable. Sometimes walls are put up between people, sometimes vital supports are torn down with harsh words and unforgivable deeds that spring from widely divergent characters and points of view. But if that strong foundation of love is there, the mother and child can always grit their teeth and rebuild.
The Gilmore Girls is a fascinating study of mother/daughter relationship through three generations. Lorelei (centre) and Emily (right) are two very strong characters who love each other deeply but who constantly clash due to their very different outlooks. With her own daughter, Rory (left), Lorelei attempts to correct every wrong she perceives her mother did her. But even though their relationship is so close as to be more like best friends than mother/daughter, Rory eventually rebels against Lorelei's plans for her, which coincidentally echo many of the plans Emily had for Lorelei before she became pregnant in her teens. If you haven't seen this show, rent it, buy it, steal it, watch it. It's smart and sassy and fun and deeply emotional. Jenny Crusie could have written the script. Every episode is its own little masterpiece of dialogue, character exposition and comedic timing.
NEVER wet my fingers with my tongue and rub away a smear of spaghetti sauce on my child's face, yuk! I'd NEVER say 'perhaps' when I meant no or 'soon' when I meant 'much, much later' or make my children go to bed early or stop them eating lollies or make them brush their teeth. Ahem. Guilty on all counts.Saturday, May 10, 2008
The Lair Heads West!
by Anna Campbell
It is with great pleasure that I welcome my wonderful critique partner Annie West back to the lair. She's here to give us an update on what's been happening over the last few months and also to talk about her two new Harlequin romances.
Annie, congratulations on all your success since we last hosted you in the lair. THE SHEIKH’S RANSOMED BRIDE has been nominated for a Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Award, FOR THE SHEIKH’S PLEASURE has finaled in the National Readers’ Choice Awards and you’ve contributed to an anthology to celebrate Mills and Boon’s centenary. Can you give us an update on what else has happened in your world lately?
Gee, Anna, isn’t that enough? I lead such a quiet life and you’ve stolen my thunder here with all my big news. First let me say thanks for inviting me back to the lair. It’s a real pleasure to be here as I always enjoy the camaraderie. I’ve even (ahem) managed to snare the GR once for Down Under. As for news – the RT nomination and finaling in the NRCA have been fantastic. It’s great to see both my boys (my first 2 sheikhs) doing so well with readers. I’m more or less a U.S. contest virgin (I didn’t enter American contests before publication) so color me chuffed! Apart from that – work and lots of it. Things have been rather unsettled on the home front this year for a number of reasons so focusing on my writing has been a challenge. However, I’ve managed to get my third sheikh accepted (wild shrieks of joy over that one) and have just submitted another story to my editor. Now I’m looking forward to a writers’ workshop in Brisbane in May, and the RWAus conference in August, and wishing I was going to the San Francisco conference (where my critique partner has a double RITA nomination!).
Hmm, who could your critique partner be? Snork! Your latest U.S. release is the wonderful THE GREEK TYCOON’S UNEXPECTED WIFE. Can you tell us about this story?
This is a book that had me chortling with glee as I started writing. I put my hero in the worst possible circumstances then waited to see how he got out of them. Silly me – I forgot that I was the one who had to help him find his way! Stavros Denakis has everything: wealth, power, status, a gorgeous home, an even more gorgeous fiancée and he’s celebrating his engagement with a huge A-list party when he gets a surprise visitor – his wife. I loved Tessa, his wife. She was so stoic and strong in a quiet, dignified way that made me wish I could be just like her. It’s in North American bookstores from mid May under the label ‘Presents Extra’.
It must have been a great thrill to be asked to contribute to an anthology to mark Mills and Boon’s centenary (available here). Can you tell us about THE BILLIONAIRE’S BOUGHT MISTRESS, your story in the collection?
You’re absolutely right, Anna, this was an enormous thrill. I’ve been reading Mills and Boon/Harlequin books since my teens (only a few years ago, of course) so being asked to write for a centenary anthology was fantastic. The idea was to showcase three new authors so the edition is a whopper, with full length stories by Annie Burrows (Regency historical), Margaret McDonagh (medical) and me (Presents). Ms. Campbell can take some of the credit for this story as the initial idea emerged as we lolled in her sitting room discussing plots (yay, Anna!). The opening scene came to me in a burst of energy. I had a vivid picture in my mind of Antonia, huddled into a long coat as the alpine wind whips past her cheeks. She’s in a churchyard, burying her father, when a man with a face like a fallen angel appears and proceeds to turn her life upside down. It’s a very sexy story about a man who wants to buy a mistress to help his plans for revenge and a woman who gets caught up in his schemes. I loved the fact that though I put Antonia in a terrible situation, virtually powerless to begin with, she never caves in and always manages to assert herself. As for Rafe, he learns about true strength and the redemptive power of love. I had enormous fun watching him learn about himself as well as Antonia. It’s a high stakes drama with loads of passion – the sort of story I love to read.
In publishing, a week is a long time. Why do you think Mills and Boon (Harlequin in the U.S. and Canada) has had such great longevity with their love stories?
You mean apart from having terrific writers! (G) It has to be because they listen to their readers and change with them. Harlequin Mills and Boon is meticulous in tracking reader demographics, likes and dislikes, as well as sales. As a result, the stories sold now are very different to the ones sold 5, 10, 20, much less 30 years ago. They follow readers’ preferences. The company aims to give what readers want, delivering on the promise for satisfying romances intrinsic in each line.
A week or so ago, we had some wonderful advice from Jane Porter for people who are aiming to write Presents. Do you have any advice for aspiring writers targeting this particular line?
Ah, Anna, the big question. I read Jane’s advice and, as usual, found her words of wisdom spot on. The big thing I think (and this goes for any line) is that I’d only recommend trying to write for Presents if you LOVE those books. If you find yourself swept away with a smile on our face by larger than life heroes, deep emotion, sizzling passion and a touch (or more) of glamour then this could be the line for you.
As you know, originally I wasn’t aiming for Presents. It was the line I’d read consistently for years but I didn’t think I had what it took to write these books. I sent manuscripts elsewhere and got encouraging feedback but there was always a ‘but’ (funny about that). My voice didn’t quite fit. Finally, just before I gave up trying to get published, I decided I had nothing to lose by trying to write for the line I loved best. Sitting down to write the story that became A MISTRESS FOR THE TAKING was a whole new experience. I felt I’d come home and the writing flowed from some inner well I’d never tapped before. (Do you tap a well? You know what I mean.) It still required lots of hard work but I felt I was in my zone and that some part of me knew what it was doing with this story.
I know it’s been said so often we tend to discount the advice, but I firmly believe in writing what you love. Apart from that? I’ve seen manuscripts written to target Presents that have glamour, an alpha hero, a feisty heroine and a conflict, but they just don’t make the grade. The main reason is that the conflict isn’t necessarily about the characters, that it’s more a disagreement or a surface level misunderstanding that can easily be resolved. A great Presents story is driven by two strong people (by ‘strong’ I don’t mean loud or aggressive) who are driven by circumstance and their own characters into conflict with the other. Delving deep to discover what the characters feel most strongly about, and then using that to develop the story seems the best way to go.
Too often I’ve seen contest entries where the ‘conflict’ arises from a hero who instead of being an alpha hero is an ugly-tempered brute who does outrageous things without any provocation or reason. Or a heroine who turns her nose up petulantly at the perfectly understandable actions of a hero. All, I suspect because the conflict isn’t really deep and driven by honest emotions. I think this is about digging right down to let your characters drive the conflict. Sorry – am I on my soap box? I hasten to add I’ve read some wonderful contest entries too, where I’m ready to be swept away in a terrific story, but have to stop because I don’t have the whole manuscript.
What are you working on now?
I’m tinkering with ideas for my next book. I’m in the unusual position (for me) of trying to decide which of three options is the strongest to write now. The passionate Greek who gets up to all sorts of mischief on a private beach, the buttoned up Italian businessman who catches up with an old flame and gets more than he bargained for, or the Aussie tycoon who discovers the love of his life in the boardroom. Votes or suggestions willingly accepted!
What do you find inspiring?
Talking to other writers. Nothing beats the buzz from being with people who ‘get’ what you’re trying to do or understand (some of) the publishing world. Hot showers (a great way to work on plot problems – I’m sure it’s the hot water). Walking on a long deserted beach (there should be more of it).Visiting places I’ve never been before.
Annie, do you want to come up with some fantabulous question we can use to get the conversation going?
Argh! That’s typical of you, Anna. No pressure...no pressure...fantabulous? No, sorry, I can’t manage that, but I’d love to hear from people about the stories that really strike a chord with them. You know, the ones that you reach for as comfort reads, or grab off the bookstore shelves as soon as you read the blurb. I love marriage of convenience stories or situations where I just know hero and heroine are going to be stuck with each other despite their best intentions. Or witty comedy of manners like Georgette Heyer. Or high stakes drama and passion (can you see why Anna and I critique together)? And, are they the ones you love to write best or is there a difference between your fave read and your fave story to write?
Annie has very generously offered a signed copy of her newest U.S. release THE GREEK TYCOON'S UNEXPECTED WIFE to one lucky commenter today. Good luck, everyone!
Friday, May 9, 2008
WHATCHA' READIN' KID?
by Jeanne Adams
How old were you when you started reading? If you like to read now, that started somewhere, right? So…where?
Do you remember the first “real” book you read?
No, I don’t mean See Spot Run. Ha! I mean the first story that affected you. Anna Campbell’s Big Fat Book post got me thinking about Kid Books.
(Yes, it was a convoluted path from that sexy Riders cover to this, but hey…)
So, for you, what was “THE BEGINNING” ? (cue the music from the 10 Commandments)
For me, since my father’s a Librarian, The Beginning was at the Library. As a kid, I loved anything with fur or feathers. (Have to confess I’m still not a reptile fan, except for dragons) Tell that to an astute Children’s Librarian and s/he will pile your arms with books – fiction and non - about animals. (Note: I just LOVE Librarians!)
For horses, I started at the beginning. Billy And Blaze: A Boy And His Horse(Anderson) were ancient, but well loved books in my library’s Children’s Room. I graduated to BLACK BEAUTY (Sewel), National Velvet> (Bagnold) and a fabulous book on life, growing up and harness racing called Red Horse Hill (Meader) which made me want to move to New Hampshire. From there I read non-fiction about Shires, Clydesdales and Connemaras.
I deeply wanted a dog, but my folks said no. So Lad: A Dog (A.P. Terhune), Big Red (Kjelgaard), Azeet, paratrooper dog (Gur), Call of the Wild (London), the REAL 101 Dalmatians(Smith), and Silver Chief Dog of the North (O'Brien) became my pets. 
In reading O’Brien and London, I found adventure stories. OH! The wonders! Swiss Family Robinson (Wyss), The Black Arrow (Stevenson ), Ivanhoe (Scott), Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk (Sabatini), Robin Hood Tales,The Egypt Game (Snyder) and (tribal drum roll please) Tarzan of the Apes .
To my mother’s great dismay, for weeks I lived, slept, breathed and ate while holding a book by Edgar Rice Burroughs. There are 10+ in the Tarzan series alone. From his John Carter of Mars tales, I transitioned to the fantasy realms of the late great Andre Norton, as well as Robert Heinlein, Arthur Clarke, Zelazney and so on.
All these gave way to stories about relationships, friendships and adventure – Heidi (Spyri), The Complete Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery, Captains Courageous , The Jungle Book (Kipling), Tales of the South Pacific(Michener) and so on. Or to stories of fantasy and the supernatural: The Hobbit, LOTR (Tolkein), The Chronicles of Narnia Boxed Set (Lewis), The Exorcist (Blatty. The only book my parents ever tried to censor), The Once and Future King (DH White), A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (Twain). 
I read the obligatory school-reads like Lord of the Flies (Golding), A Separate Peace (Knowles), and the dread The Crucible (Miller, Ugh), but the ones I search for are those oldies which evoke a vivid image from the tale. The bear fight in Big Red. When the weakling heir finds his inner Survivor and his mate in The Cave Girl (Burroughs) The quiet scene with the cocker spaniel as Pongo and Perdita search for their missing pups. The mines of Moria. (Shudder)
Most are HEA – happily ever after – which eventually led me to Romance…but that’s another story altogether…
So this flashback made me wonder what would be the Anne of Green Gables for the next generation. I asked a friend, fellow 2006 Golden Heart pal Lavinia Klein, what her daughter was reading these days and got a GREAT list…(I didn’t see my old favorites on Becca’s list, but I chalk that up to my early Children’s Librarian being into TRADITIONAL books. Oh, and me being animal mad. Yeah, that’s the reason.) BTW, I’ve already made a trip to the library and B&N to snag some of Becca’s recommendations, as well as ordering Anna’s Silver Brumby 
stories. (TOLDja I’d read 'em Anna!)
Here’s some from Becca’s list, I edited for space, but kept a pretty good list of titles from her favs. (Note to those buying for teens, the Peterfreund and Gleason contain either sex or sensuality!)
Poison Study (Study, Book 1) (all the Study books) by Maria V. Snyder, (Mira) The Bridei Chronicles (The Dark Mirror is book one) and Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier, (TOR) Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1) Twilight, Eclipse and New Moon by Stephanie Meyer, (Little, Brown) Rowan Hood: Outlaw Girl of Sherwood Forest (Rowan Hood) by Nancy Springer (Puffin) Secret Society Girl: An Ivy League Novel (Ivy League), The Secret Society Girl books by Diana Peterfreund, (Delta) The Luxe by Anna Godberson, (HarperTeen) The Rest Falls Away: The Gardella Vampire Chronicles (Signet Eclipse) by Colleen Gleason, Gossip Girl, The Carlyles #1 (Gossip Girl) by Cecily von Ziegesar, (Poppy) The Year Of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty (Scholastic paperbacks).
Do you see YOUR favorites listed? If not, what’s YOUR fav Kid Read? Was there anything your parents tried to, or did censor?
**Becca, don’t forget to look for our own Trish Milburn/Tricia Mill’s YA release, HEARTBREAK RIVER, Penguin, in Spring of 2009!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Missy's Winner
Thanks to everyone who joined us for Missy Tippens' visit. The winner of one copy of Missy's book, An Unlikely Family, is . . .Peggy!
Peggy, if you'll go to www.missytippens.com and use the contact link to email Missy, she'd love to mail out your prize. Thanks again for joining us in the lair!
BIG FAT BOOK VOUCHER!
Well, not that fat, but the winner of the $15 Amazon voucher from my blog yesterday on big fat books is...
ANN M!!!
Congratulations, Ann. Please email me on anna@annacampbell.info with your contact details and I'll organize your prize for you.
And thank you again to everybody who turned the post into such a huge party in the lair!
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
by Cassondra Murray
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always starin' at me
While I'm chuggin' along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kinda crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy
That's the chorus from a Kenny Chesney song, written by multi-hit songwriters Paul Overstreet and Jim Collins. That song is from Kenny's album, Everywhere We Go
I'm not actually a Kenny Chesney fan, but it's a cute video. You can see it and listen to the song here. 
I think tractors are sexy.
Actually, maybe that's not the best way to say it. It's not tractors per se that I find sexy..... it's the men who use them.
Men are strange creatures. (Okay for all you men out there, let me say that I understand you feel the same way about us. Hang on. I think it'll all make sense in the end.)
Let me start with what happened last week.
Last week I was on my mail route and due to a set of unfortunate circumstances I ended up like this.
That's not my car. But that's exactly the way my car looked--with its poor little rear wheel off the ground, and the right front tire dropped off the edge of a culvert. I had to do something. Fast. On a mail route there isn't time for a lot of dilly-dallying around or you won't get the mail delivered and still make dispatch.
I didn't even have to think about it for thirty seconds. I pulled out my phone book and started mentally clicking through the mail stops on my route until I got to what I knew would be my salvation.
A farmer.
Farmers, you see, are capable.
Unfailingly capable.
And to me, capable is sexy. But sexy wasn't my point. Well, not much of it anyhow.
I looked at my car and figured that a decent size, capable guy or two could tilt the front end of my car up, reconnect my back wheel with the pavement the way God intended, and I'd be on my way again, dropping off mail, without a lot of fuss.
But here's the key. If it proved to be more involved than a simple push, a farmer would have the tools and the know-how to use them--to get me out of that ditch--because almost all farmers have that one possession that few other people have.
A tractor.
My mail route is mostly farm country. So about three stops from the car-vs-ditch incident there lived a farmer. In a day of unlisted numbers, I've found most farmers are still listed in the phone book. They're available to neighbors who need help. Amazing isn't it?
They both grinned a little, their eyes twinkled a bit too much, but I didn't care.
Do you think they wasted a lot of time standin' around worryin' about the best way to approach the problem?
Nope.
They didn't even have to talk about it. They stepped off into the ditch, said, "put 'er in gear," grabbed the front end of my car and I was back on the road.
Capable.
Did I say I think capable is sexy? Oh. I guess I did.
By the time I had the door open to say thank you they were climbing back into their truck.
"Sorry for takin' you from what your were doin," I yelled as the farmer started his engine.
Capable and nice.
I've come to realize as I've grown older that this rare, deadly combination of capable and nice is something I find most attractive in a man.
A lot of modern men, I notice, are missing that capable factor.
Consider, if you will, the yuppie.
The one who drives something like this, for example.
Now Beemers are very nice cars (this one is particularly striking don't you think?), and I've enjoyed driving the ones I've driven. But they don't hold the same inherent "Ride to the Rescue" capability for me as does a truck or a tractor. When a man drives up in this and my car is stuck in a ditch, what do you suppose he'll do? Well, if stereotypes were accurate, he might well whip out some digital doohicky, punch the speed dial number for his secretary, and have her phone a tow truck--and a capable man-- to come and get me out of the ditch.
Hmmm.
Okay I like money. Maybe more than some. And that's a really hot car. And all that money may be a major turn-on for some women, but not so much for me. I'll take a guy who'll save me all by himself, without any electronic thingamabob, and without a secretary. The guy in the Beemer may well do that. But the farmer is almost certain to do so. I think it's part of what we love about the cowboy hero, the firefighter hero, and the cop. At least it's part of what I love about those heroes. A perceived undeniable capability that for me, goes with the hard-working, hands-on guy.
Last week, my knights in shining armor showed up in something that looked a lot like this.
I know without having ever seen the actual articles, that there was a big honking log chain and a tow rope in the tool box in the back. Along with a few wrenches and screwdrivers, a hammer and probably some jumper cables, and quite likely a small cooler with some cold Coca Cola and a bottle of water or two, in case we got thirsty while they slayed my dragons...uh...towed my car out of the ditch.
As far as I know, duallies are not the vehicle of choice for serial killers.
And speaking of serial killers, if the guy who stops to help you has actual cow pie and mud on his boots, it's a given that he's probably not gonna rape and kill you and bury you in a shallow grave.
This guy, on the other hand.....
He may well be Prince Charming. But as nice as that jawline is, he's probably never owned a tractor.
Hmmmm.
Does he look like he could get anyone's car out of a ditch? I'm thinkin he'd be too worried about getting his hands--and suit--dirty.
As I was musing on this subject of capable men, I came across the website of an image consultant named Jae on KinoWear .com .
Jae has a lot to say about image. Particularly about the yuppie image. On one of his blogs, Jae says, "Before I start writing about the Yuppie mentality, I’ll tell you the key to attracting women. Ask a woman what the most important quality they look for in a man is, and the most frequent answer will be: confidence."
Okay, Jae. I'm with you so far.
"If confidence is the key to attraction, how does one come across as confident? Well, after talking to many intelligent women who can better articulate their thoughts than most, I’ve found “confidence” is better explained as self-assurance."
Still with you on this one.
"It’s also something that you are, rather than something that you do."
Yup.
"All that is required of you to come across as confident, is a healthy love for yourself. "
Uh.......no.
Sorry, Jae. When we're stuck in a ditch, we need a healthy dose of "Git-r-done." Nothing wrong with being happy with ones self certainly. But....
We need a guy with a dually and a tractor and the know-how to use them. For me, confidence is a matter of competence. Of being capable and
knowing it. Not in an uppity sort of way. Just a real-life can-do sort of fellow. No matter what he wears, he won't mind getting it dirty to help me when I need help.None of the heroes I fall in love with in books--no matter what their social standing, job, or income level, spend a lot of time worried about which bracelet they'll wear that day. This guy is one of the yuppies from Jae's site. Jae, the image consultant, has a whole blog about bracelets for the male. I'm figurin' this fellow on the right doesn't have a tractor. What do y'all think?
A few weeks ago I was having dinner with my husband at our favorite sushi bar when a friend of ours walked by from the back. She had her daughters, ages 13 and 14, with her. It was her daughters' first date. They each had a boy with them. Mom was taking them on a group date this first time, to dinner and a movie. I say, good for Mom.
Now this mom is about five-two, recently left the Marine Corps, has the figure and face of a cover model, and is a corrections officer at the regional jail. A no-BS kind of gal. Like me, this mom has a certain "capability" expectation for the men she dates, and for the men her daughters will date. Let's just say the bar is set fairly high shall we?
While we stood there the young fellows walked up to join mom and daughters. Mom turned to the young men and said, "Did you leave a tip?"Boy number one's lip jutted into a pout.
"She brought us the wrong food," he whined.
Mom turned to face boy number one.
"Go over there," she said, "and put a dollar on the table."
"But," he whined, lip poking toward the county line, put-upon look on his face, "she brooooought us the wroooong fooooooooooood!"
Mom leveled her "prisoner-done-broke-the-rules" gaze at the kid, stretched out her arm and pointed toward the back of the restaurant.
"You," she said. "Both of you. Go back there RIGHT NOW and EACH of you put a dollar on that table."
The two boys slunk off toward the back of the store--well, as fast as boys can slink with their pants hanging around their knees, hair hanging in their eyes and their caps on backwards. The two daughters started to follow.
"No," Mom said, and grabbed the oldest daughter by the arm. "They have to do this by themselves."
After the mortified daughters and dates left for their allotted five minutes alone in the car, mom told us that she'd had to teach both fifteen-year-old boys how to pump gas, how to check the oil, and how to check the tire pressure and add air to the tires. She was not impressed. They were clueless and helpless.
"No daughter of mine is gonna date a helpless, ungrateful wuss," she said, as she headed for the door. I looked at my husband and said, "What is wrong with those boys' parents?"
It's unlikely that either of those boys will ever own a tractor.
I grew up on a farm you see. And I don't have a lot of patience with bratty, whiney, self-absorbed men, no matter how pretty they are.
Even at fifteen, the boys I hung out with knew how, not only to take care of a car, but how to drive. They all learned the same way I learned. By driving their fathers' tractors.It's a right fair bet that those farmers who pushed me out of the ditch don't shop at the same stores as this Abercrombie fellow. They don't need designer lables to be hot.
They've got common sense, big hearts, time to stop and help somebody, and tractors. Oh, and belts to hold their pants up.
Don't get me wrong. I like a sensitive guy. And this blog is not about financial success or the lack of it. A capable man can be very successful, and a successful man can be capable. But every now and then when I see the way the world appears to be headed, I start thinkin we'd be better off if more men owned tractors.
I said earlier that men were strange creatures. Well, I hold to that.
But women are even stranger. Each of us has her own inner guidelines for how much is not enough, just enough, and too much. Each of us has our own inner sense of how much "he-man" we want in a guy. It's a fine line men have to walk isn't it? The line between "sensitivity" and "total wuss," between "strong man" and "neanderthal?"
Guys with tractors tend to have a fairly good sense of where the line is as far as I'm concerned. Guys who work the land and work with their hands have a certain appeal for me that seems to never go away.
See this cutie pie with her prize-winning lamb?
I would bet money that her daddy owns a tractor and that she can drive it. When a girl can get herself out of a ditch, she generally doesn't have a high tolerance for guys who can't do the same for themselves or for her. Cant, or won't because they're scared of a little dirt.
Do you suppose she'll marry one of these guys?
Nah, I don't think so either.
I'm thinkin she'll pick out a guy with a tad more of that self confidence Jae blogs about but doesn't really understand.
She'll choose a man with real grit and maybe some mud on his boots. A man who can get her out of a ditch, and who won't check himself out in the mirror more often than he checks out her butt.
There's a fair chance he'll wear clothing that fits, whether it's jeans or a suit, he won't have three bracelets, he'll own a belt, and if she's lucky, he'll own a tractor.
I know some of you don't like country music. I don't like all of it either. But this one's worth listening to. Country music is said to be "three chords and the truth." Brad Paisley has that down to a serious art. He's brilliant at pointing out the differences between men and women. He wrote this song, and he's a genuinely nice guy as well.
I didn't ask him when I met him, but I figure he can drive a tractor.
Written by: Lovelace, Kelley/Paisley, Brad/Miller, Lee Thomas
Lyrics copyright-EMI Music Publishing
So what about you? Whether it's a real-life guy or your favorite romance hero, what says "capable" to you?
What says "sexy" about a guy...or a girl, fictional or real?
Where's your line between "caveman" and "knight in shining armor?"
What pushes your "wuss" button?
Is it a car that makes you think "capable?" Or a particular job?
Is it my country background, or do you think tractors are sexy too? If not, what conveyance catches your eye?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
The Courtesan's Booty!
by Caren Crane
Hey, not that kind of booty, you twisted people: Bandita booty! The winner of a signed copy of The Courtesan's Daughter is Gillian Layne!!
Gillian, please contact Claudia at claudia AT claudiadain DOT com with your snail mail information. Congratulations and thank you for playing with us!
Eloisa James' Bandita Booty
What a fun day we all had - thanks again to Eloisa for taking time out to answer all our questions. 
My cats, using a scientific method only they can understand, have picked out two winners. So, congratulations to:
Carla Capshaw
and
Helen.
Big Fat Books!
by Anna Campbell
Recently my critique partner the fabulously talented Annie West lent me a book she'd enjoyed called RIDERS by Jilly Cooper. It's about 900 pages long, it's got a cast of thousands and reams of sex and conflict and intrigue. And I devoured every steamy word of it! Especially the bits about the sex-god antihero and all-round cad Rupert Campbell-Black. What a fun character! These big juicy books have a larger than life quality that I still respond to.
My reading over recent years, especially with romance, has concentrated on books that focus on a principal couple and the ins and outs of their relationship (as the actress said to the bishop!). You get that intense read and a big emotional experience in return for the narrow range the book covers.
But when I read RIDERS, I had a flashback to a much younger me who used to devour these thousand-page sagas like they were going out of style (which sadly they were by the time I'd finished!).
My mother was a big reader. She loved Mills and Boons and she loved long, long stories about intrepid heroines facing all kinds of catastrophes and emerging triumphant. Catherine Cookson, Josephine Cox, Danielle Steel. Rarely was she not in the middle of some poor woman's struggles against a hostile world!
I must say my taste in sagas was slightly different. I loved the glam ones like the Judith Krantzes. The sex and shopping books of the '80s? Gimme, gimme, gimme! I remember just adoring PRINCESS DAISY and SCRUPLES. Lots and lots of passion and intrigue and generally at least two really great love stories (with copious nooky) to keep me amused for hours. RIDERS was kinda sex and saddles rather than sex and shopping but it definitely falls into the category I'm talking about.
Almost inevitably these books were made into miniseries which was part of the fun too. I can remember the first time I saw Rupert Everett, he was Daisy's evil and oversexed half-brother in the TV adaptation of PRINCESS DAISY. Appropriately he was called Ram (snork!).
One of my favorites, both as book and miniseries, was Barbara Taylor Bradford's A WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE. It was the ideal combination of what Mum liked - plucky lower-class girl beats the rich at their own game and ends up queen of all she surveys - and what I liked - lots and lots of glamour and drama and sex and shopping.
I certainly don't think I'm going back to a solid diet of these books. But it was so interesting to read a story that encompassed a whole world, that was long enough to span years of action and character development (or not as the case may be!). There was a sweep and a broad canvas to the story that I don't get with the more intense stories.
Which reminds me of my favorite saga! Definitely a sweeping tale and a better read than you might imagine, especially the bits about Natasha and Prince Andrei who is a wonderful hero!
So over to you! Did you ever read these books? Do you miss them? Or do you still seek them out? Most of these writers are still publishing. Do you prefer the broad sweep of a saga or the concentrated experience of a book just about one couple? Do you have a favorite big fat book? Did you watch the miniseries of these books? Did you have a favorite TV version? One lucky commenter wins a $15 Amazon voucher - perhaps so you can go and buy some big fat books to augment your collection!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Anniversary prize winners!
Sunday was our official one-year anniversary in cyberspace, so the lovely random number generator has chosen two big prize winners for the day!
The first prize of chocolates and a skull-and-crossbones T-shirt from Loucinda McGary; a $10 Barnes & Noble gift card, Romance Bandits pin, Romance Bandits mug from Cassondra Murray; and a signed copy of Not Without Her Family and chocolate-covered sunflower seeds from Beth Andrews is...limecello. Send your name and mailing address to trishmilburn AT yahoo DOT com, and I'll forward it on to Loucinda, Cassondra and Beth for mailing of your prizes.
Our first critique prize of the month, graciously donated by Loucinda McGary, goes to...terrio! Please e-mail me both your mailing and e-mail addresses so I can forward them, and you two can communicate about what you want from the critique and how is best to submit it.
Remember, I'll be drawing for the Week 1 winner late Sunday night, so keep those comments coming all this week. To see what's up for grabs, go here.
Also one note: If you are a writer and interested in being in the running for the critiques this month, please e-mail me. I'll keep a running list of our visitors who are writers, and if your name comes up as a winner, I'll know whether you're a writer.
A Visit With Missy Tippens
interview by Nancy
Missy Tippens is two-time Maggie winner and 2006 Golden Heart finalist who sold her first full-length novel to Steeple Hill Love Inspired. Her Unlikely Family (Formerly titled Michael’s Surrender in contests) was a February 2008 release. She sold her second book just last week. Welcome, Missy!
We love call stories here in the lair. Would you like to share yours?
I’d love to share it! On January 30, 2007, I came home from the grocery store, put everything away, then made my lunch. As I was walking by the phone with my plate in hand, I decided to check for calls. And I nearly fell over when I saw Harlequin Books on caller ID!
I listened to the message, knowing it could only be good news. They don’t call for rejections! The Steeple Hill senior editor asked me to call her when I got in..jpg)
I did call some published friends to get advice on contract negotiating. Then a couple of hours later I called the editor back to accept. Once I had accepted, it finally hit me. I don’t think my feet touched the floor the rest of the day. :)
You do a program on enduring the long road to publication. Are there any tips you'd like to give the AYU banditas and our visitors?
#1 Keep writing! You’ll only get better and better, plus you’ll have something else to immediately offer them once you make that first sale. Also, don’t give up! I stayed on the journey for over 10 years, but never would quit (even though I thought of quitting numerous times). So stubbornness is a good thing! Also, go ahead and build your web presence—website, blogging, etc. And attend conferences, network, and enter contests. You’ll make connections and will get valuable feedback.
Tell us a little about Her Unlikely Family.
Here’s a blurb: Take responsibility for his orphaned niece, yes. Raise her himself, no. A good boarding school was what the girl needed, not an uncle who was never home. But then Michael Throckmorton's niece ran away. And the big-hearted, beautiful diner waitress who'd taken her in wasn't letting her go so easily. Josie Miller had a few conditions for Michael. Oddly enough, he was willing to listen. Yet days later, why wasn't he hauling the teen back to school and himself back to the city