High Adventure Hijinks

by Caren Crane

Hola, Bandita Buddies! As some of you know, I am a big fan of high adventure sports - or at least the ones I don't think are likely to kill me. I am lately returned from the end-of-year trip with my Girl Scout troop and am possessed of:

1. Rope burns (from the white, ironically-named "safety rope" on the zip lines).

2. Bruised calves and shins (those whitewater inflatable rafts are hard on the lower legs).

3. Sunburned knees (only my knees, mind you).

4. Three inexplicable sore, red lines on my upper left thigh (likely from inflatable raft - see 2).

5. Some awesome rafting pictures (as seen below).

6. Heartfelt gratitude for a) my life, b) my co-leader, Linda, and, c) Dale, our awesome whitewater rafting guide (also seen below).

See, we went whitewater rafting a couple of years ago. Same place, the awesome ACE Adventure Resort. Same river, the Lower Gauley. So, I felt confident that I could handle what the Gauley was dishing out.

How the river laughs at the confident! Two years ago we went in July, not in May. Two years ago, we had a serious rainfall deficit and the river was low. This spring, there was tremendous rainfall and snowmelt in West Virginia, so the river was up and quite adventuresome. The river, she laughed at me.

The river bided her time. After lunch, when we were a little logy from sun and food, we hit the bulk of the Class IV and Class V rapids. One of the Class IV's sucked us in, smacked us one way, spun us another, THEN smacked the raft exactly where I was sitting.

I knew I was a goner as soon as the wave hit. There I went, carried out of the boat on a tide of whitewater. Down for a second, then back up with river water in my eyes, nose and lungs. Still clinging to the oar, which I dared not release. Kicking furiously back toward the raft, where Dale and Linda were on point, ready to haul me back in, all while navigating a Class IV rapid.

Once I managed to wrestle my sodden, humiliated self back into the raft (with lots of help from Dale and Linda), we were right back on it with paddling. I never let that oar out of my death grip while I struggled to get my fat butt back in the raft! I cast an eye at the river and I swear I heard a gurgling laugh under the churning whitewater.

I still love high adventure sports and I definitely plan to go whitewater rafting again. And again. And probably one more time. I will not, however, forget to always beware the unknowable river. She will demand respect!

Have you ever taken something for granted and gotten a kick-in-the-pants wake-up call? Horses are famous for this, as are tricky intersections, sports involving flying object and driving routes you know like the back of your hand. Anyone else care to share a painful lesson learned?

By the way, none of the 11 teenagers nor my two co-leaders were dumped in the river. Just me, all wet, all by myself. I was glad it wasn't one of the teenagers, though, 'cause they made me s'mores later. I love them!

"AND WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?"

by Suzanne

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would say things to you like, "If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" (That depends on why my friends are jumping off cliffs), or "Eat all your vegetables, because kids in China are starving." (Would me eating my vegetables actually stop them from starving?) or "Close the door, were you born in a barn? (I don't know, you were the adult in the room, not me--yes I was a sarcastic child and paid dearly for it). Those are the phrases we heard over and over, that made us swear we'd never say those things to our kids when we got around to having them.

Thankfully, I tried not to quote these to my kids. I did however, come up with a few of my own, some of which they say they can't wait to use on my poor grandbabies.

1. "Mom, can you make me a sandwich?"
Me: "Poof, you're a PB&J sandwich."
Them: "Awww, Mom, that's not what I meant."

2. Them, whining: "I'm hungry"
Me: "Hi, Hungry, my name's Mom, glad to meet you."
Them: "Awww, Mom, that's not what I meant."

3. Them, "You make me do chores just cause you're mean."
Me: "My job is to teach you how to be a functional human being when you leave my home. Being mean is a side benefit."
Them: "Awww, Mom."

(Aren't you glad I wasn't YOUR mother?)

Yes, my poor grandbabies will have to deal with all these questions and comments.

When my son was in middle school he did something stupid. Have no idea what it was, just typical teenage stuff to get into trouble, but not too dangerous. When I sat him down the next day to give him a lecture about it, he said, "Yeah, I know" in that slightly insolent way young teens have when they know they've done wrong, but don't really want to admit it. I thought a moment about how to get the point across so that he'd really listen. (That's him with his niece below.)

Me: "Yes, I know you know how stupid this was and I'd rather be cleaning the oven than dealing with your behavior, but see, I'm required to give you this lecture."
Him: "Required? By who?"
Me: "It's listed in the mother's handbook, page 35."
Him: "Mother's handbook? I've never seen it."
Me: "It's an invisible book of LIFE LESSONS, given to new mother's on the day they have their kids. Each stupid thing you do or are thinking of doing is required a certain lecture. Today's lecture is on page 35."
(I think we're up to page 260 by now and in the chapter on finances.)

And then there's my favorite parental comment. "And what have we learned?"

This is for those times when I want to see what they think of their behavior. If it was something good or bad. Did their actions give them the results they were looking for or end in some sort of disaster? Uhm, coming from me, I expect them to realize the decision they'd made probably wasn't a good one and not worth repeating. Their answer is usually prefaced with a deep sigh and a great deal of eye-rolling. (They are my kids after all.)

Unfortunately for my coworkers, the occasional doctor or patient, this comment gets repeated at work, too! Mostly getting laughter as the response.

So what does this have to do with writing?

In a good book, the main characters have to grow and change throughout their journey. They shouldn't be the same at the end of the book as they were at the beginning. In mysteries, they should've increased their deductive and observation skills to solve the mystery. In an adventure tale, the hero should have discovered he has more abilities than he'd ever thought in order to make the journey and save the day. In a romance, the hero AND heroine must change and grow in order to allow love into their world and gain their HEA.

So dear friends, what have we learned? What hero or heroine have you read recently that has learned a great life lesson and achieved their goal? Have you ever had to take a step back and evaluate your own behavior or decision making ability and learn from a certain situation? Got any good parenting lines you'd like to share?