Welcome Susan Gee Heino to the lair!

I have to admit that I've been waiting to host my good friend, Susan Gee Heino, and her new Regency historical debut for well over a year. She sent me a more traditional author photo to use for the blog but I prefer this one (he-he). Susan has a quick wit that is so evident in MISTRESS BY MISTAKE which has a release date of December 1st from Berkley Sensation. Treat yourself to an early Christmas present - or, more appropriately, reward yourself for surviving yet another family Thanksgiving celebration. Whatever the justification, discover this new author!

Thanks for inviting me to hang with the Banditas, Donna! You gals always know how to throw a party here. And speaking of parties, it’s Thanksgiving here in the states this week and you know what that means: the dreaded House Party.

Ah, yes. You get to stand in line for the bathroom, your vertebrae all crunch together after a night on the sleeper-sofa, and invariably somebody’s kid breaks a priceless family heirloom. All those lovely holiday traditions—beautiful and warm… except when you’re living through them.

But what if we were suddenly a great, omnipotent being who could reach down and control all the goings-on at this year’s family get-together? Wouldn’t that be cool? No more snobby mother-in-law taking over your kitchen, no stick-skinny cousin Tina bragging how she can eat anything and never gain an ounce, and for the first time ever Uncle Bob-the-Lush would leave some beer for the other guys.

If I were this grand omnipotent being I would drag my holiday festivities out of 2009 and back into Regency England. Wouldn’t that be just awesome? (As long as indoor plumbing and my blow dryer could go back with me, of course!)

Instead of piling the kids into the mini-van for a four hour drive to a bi-level in the suburbs, my family would board a well-sprung coach and journey to some pretentious country estate. I’d cast my darling husband as the put-upon nobleman who is traveling with us against his better judgment (not a stretch, he tells me) while I’d get to play the part of innocent Regency maiden desperate for a bit of adventure. (Er, that is a bit of a stretch, I’m afraid.)

But would Omnipotent Susan honestly be content to leave things well enough alone at that point? Heck no! Everyone knows a really great Regency house party must have a full complement of misunderstandings, secret affections, unlikely bedfellows and mischief galore. Throw in some honest-to-goodness emotion with true lovers longing, and that sounds like a gathering to remember!

This is what I tried to do when creating the house party scenes in my up-coming debut, MISTRESS BY MISTAKE. Clearly I did not leave well enough alone there, either.

What? Dashford was joining the group for dinner, after all? Did he not realize Evaline would be here? Oh, God. How could she face him so soon after they'd… well, afterward. She felt her nerves unhinge at the very thought.
She struggled to keep herself calm, but her hands shook. The glass of lemonade she lifted to her lips in an effort to soothe the choking dryness of her throat wobbled, then slipped from her grasp. Lemonade splashed around her and nearly covered poor old Mr. Peterson who'd been seated, unfortunately for him, at her left. What a disaster this dinner was turning out to be!

Yep, that dinner ends badly. And so do a few others before true love finally conquers all. And of course we see that in real life, too. Do we really want that Omnipotent Presence to reach down and spare us from an under-cooked turkey or an over-stewed Uncle? Probably not. It’s all these things that make our get-togethers special and our hearts grow fonder. Even for the snobby mother-in-law.

So, what would you change about your family get-togethers if you could? What would your fantasy House Party look like? Share with us and one person will win a signed copy of MISTRESS BY MISTAKE!

A Most Amusing Comedy

by Anna Campbell

I'm utterly delighted to introduce a fabulously funny writer to the lair. Janet Mullaney writes Regency comedies of manners (naughty ones!) and when she's not busy there, she blogs with the Risky Regencies. For more information on Janet and her books, please visit her website.

Janet's latest Little Black Dress book, A MOST LAMENTABLE COMEDY, is available from the Book Depository in the U.K. The Book Depository will post any book anywhere in the world with no postage!

For more information on Janet and her sparkling stories, please visit her website: www.janetmullany.com

Janet, welcome to the Romance Bandits. You and your madcap stories should fit in really well here with our wild cabana boys and Sven the masseur, not to mention our wonderful Bandits and Bandita Buddies. I recently read your latest Regency romance, A MOST LAMENTABLE COMEDY, and nearly strained something I was laughing so hard. What a fabulous read. Can you tell us something about this book?

Thanks for inviting me into the Bandit Lair and for your kind words about the book! After I wrote THE RULES OF GENTILITY (HarperCollins 2007) I realized I might have to prove I could do something similar, but I didn’t want to write about another babbling naïve fashionista like the heroine of that book, Philomena Wellesley-Clegg. For one thing, I’d made this loud public vow never to write about virgins prancing around drawing rooms, and had a red face. And I thought I’d like to write about a bad girl, a bad girl—not one being a bad girl for a worthy cause.

So I found a girl behaving badly in Rules—the only function she had in the book was to show that the hero was a naughty man and to snap up the catch of the season (not the hero). HarperCollins wasn’t interested, but Little Black Dress (UK) who bought Rules offered me a three-book contract that I accepted when the dollar was at an all-time low against the British pound. By the time I got my first advance the dollar had rallied. I think I got that the right way round—I mean I made a lot less $$ than I originally anticipated. But, heavens, I’m not that mercenary. I hope. Now I sound like my heroine Caroline, who is that mercenary. And worse.

And I have a hero who’s this gorgeous, exploitative con man. They manage to persuade each other that they have money and they’re both broke and lying through their teeth. Then she becomes a Duke’s mistress because, well, it’s almost a rite of passage for romance heroines at the moment. And there’s a dancing bear called Daisy.

It's such a cool premise. Actually it reminded me of a rather obscure and very old Marlene Dietrich film called THE MONTE CARLO STORY. It' modern (well, 50s) and they're two con people who end up falling in love. What’s coming up next for the fabulous Janet Mullany?

Killing the mosquito that’s eating me, but after that … I’m currently working on the first of two books for HarperCollins, a paranormal-alternative historical about Jane Austen, a French invasion, and vampires. I call it "Blood Bath" because it’s set in Bath, but they’ve already told me to forget about that as a title and "Austen Powers" (my brother’s suggestion). It should come out next summer which is sort of scary. I have another Regency chicklit (written, whew) that may be called "Improper Relations" coming from Little Black Dress in spring (probably) of 2010.

I’m also contracted to write contemporary erotica for Harlequin Spice as Liz Diamond. Despite my whining that I don’t have a contemporary voice, my agent, who takes a firm hand with me, insisted I did and sold two books to teach me a lesson. So there. So I’m busy, and yeah, I’m complaining (a bit) but I’d be complaining more if I wasn’t.

Hey, fantastic! Here in the lair, we love call stories. Can you tell us yours? And I’d love to know a bit about your writing journey.

(Whining) When do I get the massage? Oh, OK. I was unemployed, unshowered, and had a broken phone that disconnected three times during the call. That was my first book, DEDICATION, which I’d written purely out of exasperation and deciding to write a book I wanted to read. I sold it to the now defunct Signet Regency line (of the famed polyester gowns and interchangeable heads covers) and the editor asked me to cut 20,000 words and I said "OK, but the sex has to stay." I thought it might be a deal breaker but she said it was fine. I put STET in huge letters on the galley when the editor tried to change 'cock' to 'manhood' but they let me leave in all the grown up sex and rude terms—my h/h both knew what they were doing.

I’d been writing fiction about three or four years then, and while I couldn’t and can’t say that I’m a massive romance fan I thought I could write what I wanted to under the romance umbrella (exactly what sort of weather do you have when you pull out the romance umbrella?). It is, after all, a huge and diverse genre. And I thought the romance writers I met were extremely cool, and Chris aka Christie and I were in the same critique group. After DEDICATION, the line folded (I am not responsible for the demise of the trad Regency even though my book had that nasty sex stuff in it), my editor left, and … oh, publishing biz as usual.

Sven hasn't been himself since we featured him in a blog. Sven? Sven! I think it was Oscar Wilde who said “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.” If it wasn’t OW, it should have been! You have one of the most sparkling and original comic voices I know. Can you give us some advice about writing funny?


It does sound like OW, but I became curious and looked it up--it was an English actor called Sir Donald Wolfit who may not be remembered for much else now. As for writing funny, I think either you have it or you don’t; I think it’s partly voice. And, uh, I don’t find it that hard; in fact I have to restrain myself. A lot of what I do is surprise comments, when a character pulls back from a situation and makes an observation. I also love physical humor and I’ve just spent some time unsuccessfully trying to find a guest blog from a couple years ago where I rewrote Elizabeth/Darcy’s first proposal in PandP and introduced a whoopee cushion as an example of how to write humor. I think you get the idea.

Can you tell us about your writing day?

How old are those cabana boys? They look very … youthful. My writing day is tedious and disorganized and I don’t want to depress anyone by describing it. I have a day job that gives me some contact with the real world (as much as working for a baroque music ensemble will) and gives me a steady but laughable income and a structure.

VERRRRRY young, Janet. That's how we like them. Bwahahahahaha! I notice you write erotic stories under the pen name Jane Lockwood. Can you tell us about your alter-ego?

Jane’s having a bit of a lie-down after too much excitement (FORBIDDEN SHORES, 2007), and the sparkling Liz Diamond will burst on the scene with a Harlequin Spice that may or may not be called "Red Light" in 2011. I love writing erotic historical romance (the clothes! The lack of underwear! The lacing and rules and stuff! The jiggly carriage rides!) and I hope to get back to it sometime.

By the way, I burn really easily and I think I’d better get a cabana boy to help me with the sunscreen, but before I go, here’s several questions to ponder: I always wonder what makes a reader stay with a book to the end. Is it really all about the story? The characters?

I love the covers both HarperCollins and Little Black Dress gave me. But it’s not just the cover … what makes you decide to buy a book?

Do you think I’m right in saying that humor is something you have or don’t have? Do you think humor is appropriate in a romance or is love serious business?

Janet has very kindly offered one lucky commenter a signed copy of A MOST LAMENTABLE COMEDY today! Get commenting, people, I thought this was a fabulous read and so funny!

Glam-tastic

by Christine Wells

When I was eight, my best friend was Tabitha. She told wonderful--and extremely imaginative--stories about the things she did when she wasn't at school. Now, for all I know, she really did live as magical and eventful a life as her namesake from Bewitched. But for the most part, I devoured Tabitha's stories with a hefty pinch of salt. I was never sure whether she really expected to be believed.

Another friend used to say, Why do you hang around with that girl? She tells lies.

Not about things that mattered. Tabitha never lied to get anyone into trouble or get herself out of punishment. So she embroidered, embellished and sometimes downright fabricated stories about talking to animals or the enchanted pottery fairies her mother sculpted and glazed. Tabitha made life more interesting. She was a good friend, and her stories seemed to give her that extra, sparkly shine.

But then I've always been a sucker for glamour.

I write historical romance. I love research. I love delving into the English Regency period, a time of social upheaval, war, extravagance, poverty, marvelous architecture...

...And great hats.

And psst, I hate to admit this, given I'm *serious* about research--getting details, atmosphere, attitudes and expressions as accurate as I can, given reader expectations--but the thing I love most about the Regency era is the glamour. I love reading about aristocrats and balls and house parties.

The wit, the intrigue, the social mores and rituals, the sense of honour and tradition, the wealth of art and architecture, gardens and landscapes those old families collected, built and preserved.

The glamour of the Regency era wasn't limited to aristocrats, though. Highwaymen (or women), smugglers, spies, war heroes--for me, all of these glitter with a special kind of story magic.

Ordinary, middle class people finding love in a cottage? Not so much.

But glamour isn't just about wealth and beauty. It's about story, too, making it bigger, deeper, more. It's about high stakes and wrenching emotion, thrilling adventure and momentous, life-altering events. I think there's a place for the mundane, the ordinary, the obscure--but it's not in Regency historicals. I want the excitement, the thrill. I want the glamour.

And great hats.

So now you know my guilty secret. And that, as we say in the lair, is in the vault.

If you're a reader, what attracts you to a particular setting or subgenre? And if you're a writer, pretend you're my friend Tabitha. How would you 'glam up' your story?

And if you care to win a signed copy of Scandal's Daughter, plus some good old Aussie TIM TAMS, pitch me your most glamorous Regency historical in twenty words or less. It can be as fantastic or as silly as you like.

Just don't--please don't--make it mundane.