Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Food Fight Day Two: The Sweeter Side
By Cassondra Murray and Jeanne Adams
Call the neighbors. Call the relatives. Even the ones you don’t like and haven’t seen for ten years. Rally EVERYONE. We need numbers people!
NUMBERS to vote for CAKE!!!!!
Yes, that’s right. Day two of the food fight is Cake vs. Pie for Christmas. And I fear I shall be in the minority. Jeanne, my Evil Twin, will call for numbers in favor of PIE, no doubt.
Jeanne (hollering from the Lair Kitchen): YES!! YES!!! All for Pie, stand up and say AYE!!!
Cassondra: I think, for purposes of fairness, that we should exclude Pumpkin Pie. I love Pumpkin Pie, but it’s not like any other pie really. Add another half cup of flour, and you’ve got a Pumpkin Roll, which is…..drum roll please…CAKE!!! BuAhahahahahaha.
Jeanne: Yeah, yeah and that’s cheating.
Jeanne: Okay, ground – or pie plate – rules. For the purposes of the food fight, pumpkin pie is rendered an “Ultimate Food” rather than be sullied by the cake/pie fight. Snork. (This should be fun)
Cassondra: Okay, fine, I'm good with that.
I also like other fruit pies. Apple, cherry, peach (cobbler is my fav treatment for these fruity concoctions),even Rhubarb. But there the interest in pie hits a hard holiday wall.
The normal seasonal pie-type desserts for the holidays……I don’t like those.
Jeanne: Yes, fruit pies are divine, but they’re more summery, I agree. Now, a good strawberry rhubarb? Oh, that’s Summer! :> However, you make them the dread CAKE when you add cobbler, you know. Hot pie w/ extra crust is waaaay too akin to cake for my taste, missy.
Cassondra (ignoring her Evil Twin): Lessee…for the holidays there’s usually Chess Pie, Pecan Pie, Chocolate and Coconut and Derby Pie.
Nope. Don’t like any of ‘em.
Don’t much like dessert bar thingies either.
You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a layered dessert bar thingy at Christmas. As desserts go, these newfangled dessert-esque thingies remind me of lunch at a fast food place….it PRETENDS to be food, but really isn’t. Fills up your belly and all, but the rest of the experience is, well, lacking. Dessert bars are just that way. Sweet, but lacking the soft yummy goodness and satisfying slice-of-something-on-a-plate of an old-fashioned handmade scratch cake.
Jeanne: Just a note here, no cats were harmed in the making of this blog. And for the record, nobody better be swingin’ one in MY kitchen! Hahahah!
Cassondra: With Pumpkin Pie out of the equation, I fall solidly on the side of CAKE for the holidays. I love homemade cake of all kinds, and if it’s a fruitcake from the Collin Street Bakery in Texas, I can even manage to like THAT. Which is saying something, as I’m not a fruitcake fan.
Jeanne: Awww, c’mon now, no lemon meringue? No--
Cassondra (interrupting): Hey, hey hey! Lemon is a fruit. You said that makes it a summer pie. *flutters eyelashes*
Jeanne (raising one eyebrow): No Pecan? Oh my goodness me! What would Christmas be without Pecan pie, or better yet, CHOCOLATE pecan pie?
I once won a $25 bet that I wouldn’t eat a mess of collards, which at the time I despised. Since I still had pecan pie on my plate, I took the bet and ate them along with the pie. It was pretty gross, but hey, I won the bet all because of that sweeeeeet pecan pie!
Cassondra: Hey, 25 bucks is 25 bucks. Good job. *High fives Jeanne*
Jeanne: Oh, and fruit tarts and slurpy mince pies
Cassondra: Mince pies? GRRRRROOOOOSSSSSS!
Jeanne: Yes, they DO take some getting used to, I admit, and oh yes, indeed, chocolate meringue pie. Then there’s Ice cream pie. Yuuuummmmm!
Cassondra: I call foul on that one!
Jeanne (Ignoring the claim of foul): And those cookie bar thingies? Very pie-like – dense, yummy, multiple layers. Yep. (Excluding pumpkin bars on the Ultimate Food Exclusion) There’s 7-layer cookie bars, and blondies and lemon squares. Oh, yeah, pie-like, but still, second best to REAL pie!
Cassondra: Fine, fine. My favorite cake is homemade German Chocolate from my grandmother’s recipe, which took (hold onto your cholesterol levels) 18 eggs.
I love Red Velvet Cake too, and that’s a traditional Southern Christmas cake. Luscious moist deep red cake. Three awesome layers of it, with incredible rich cream cheese icing. Yummmmm….
Jeanne: Okay, okay, I’ll admit to loving those cakes, but really, for the holidays? Seriously? No way, man. It’s PIE!!! Say it with me people: PIE!!!! (And really, 18 eggs??? Yikes!)
Cassondra: The thing that tips the scales hard for CAKE, in my opinion, is CHEESECAKE YAY!
Cheesecake is the cake of all cakes. There’s raspberry swirl, turtle, and dark chocolate. There’s strawberry, chocolate swirl and tiramisu-style cheesecake. Cheesecake is the ultimate dessert.
WHY, with all of this gorgeous cake available, would a person fall on the side of PIE in the food wars? Why?
Jeanne: Oh, now, that’s just low. Cheesecake is cake in pie form. Doesn’t that make it a wanna-be pie, masquerade pie? I mean, it’s low, its dense, it’s pie-like. Seriously.
Cassondra: CheeseCAKE CheeseCAKE CheeseCAKE.
Jeanne: (Points at clock) Ahem.....
Cassondra: Oh, and I suppose I should give a nod to cookies. My husband, Steve, loves cookies. But I think cookies wanted to be cake, but fell short, and flat, and hard. Cookies dream of being cake.
Jeanne: Now there, we agree, but cookies might want to be pie too. They can have dreams of utmost perfection can’t they? Why would they settle for being CAKE when they could dream of being PIE!!!???
Okay Banditas and friends. You must settle the food fight once and for all.
Cake or Pie?
What's your favorite kind?
No fence sitting allowed. Even if you like both, you gotta make a firm choice here. (So pick a side and let Day Two of the Food Fight begin!