Friday, August 6, 2010

Getting to know Susan Gee Heino

Hosted by Kirsten Scott

Susan, thanks so much for joining us in the Lair!

Thanks for having me, Kirsten! I just love my visits to the lair. My pet rooster, Sunset, gets a bit jealous, though, when he realizes I’ve been sneaking around on him.

So, the truth is, Susan, I fell in love with you when we met in Orlando, and haven't been able to get my mind off you since. I thought I would orchestrate this "guest blog" as an opportunity to get to know you a little better. :-)

Aw, you're so sweet, Kirsten! I'm pretty sure I'm crushing on you, too. (Wait a minute, what kind of blog is this?!) But seriously, it was great to meet you in Orlando. Yay for tall girls! Let's hang out again sometime, okay? We can get the kids together and let them go out to play with the psycho racoons.

Oh, the racoons! Yes, definitely. But back to the blog. First question: your house is on fire (the pets, kids and hubby are all safe). Before you flee, you can grab one armful of things from the house. What do you take?

I’d grab my computer, my phone, the family scrapbooks, and this pair of really great white capris that I know I’ll never, ever be able to replace. I mean seriously, do you know how hard it is to find white pants that actually look good?

Yes, I do. In fact, that's why I don't own any white pants. Maybe now that I know your secret, I'll steal yours. Next, please tell us about an enormously stupid and/or embarrassing thing you did in high school.

Oh, you do love to torture, don’t you? Okay, I don’t know if this is PG 13 or not, but it’s by far the most embarrassing moment from my otherwise very dull high school career. Here we go:

My senior year I had room for one additional elective class. I chose French. Thought it would make me seem very smart and continental. So, there I was my first day of first year French, surrounded by wee little, snotty-nosed freshmen. I felt so superior. Plus, I’d already had several years of Spanish, so I kind of had a clue how this romance language thing worked. I was Madame Neeley’s star pupil. I sat right up in front and raised my hand for every question—of course I got them all right.

Until the day—the fateful day. We shall call it the Day of Creative Egg Use.

The teacher wrote a new word on the board and asked the class to try and guess it based on the context of a sentence she was using. I had not been paying close attention, since I already knew everything, of course. Everyone in the class was guessing, and everyone was getting it wrong. The teacher’s hints were getting more and more obvious: “It’s about this big around. It’s smooth. It is rounded at the ends.” And so on. The word, dear readers, was oeuf.

Now, if you understand a smattering of French, you may realize this word translates to “egg”. All the teacher’s hints as to shape, smoothness, diameter, etc. fit this perfectly. In hindsight, I realized they also may have been construed to relate to some, er, other item. At the time though, I did not put it all together.

I did not know the word meant egg. I thought it looked rather like “oaf”. And, being the star pupil, I hated to admit I did not know this word. So, in my usual fashion, I determined the best thing to do would be to make a joke of it. But instead of saying, “Does this word mean oaf?” I thought I would use a cooler, more hip word to express that same thing. I would use a word I’d heard kids calling each other on the bus. A silly sounding word. A word that I thought meant something akin to oaf, idiot, or even bimbo.

I blurted out, “Does the word mean dildo?”

Apparently dildo meant something more than I thought it did. The teacher nearly had an aneurism. The freshmen peed their pants. I couldn’t pull off the “Sure, I meant to say that” expression I plastered on my face. They all knew I was a moron. All I could do was wait for the bell, then go home and look the word up in a dictionary. Ouch. Then I had an aneurism and peed my pants. And tried to convince my parents to transfer me to another school.

They wouldn’t, and somehow I got up the courage to go back to French class, but it was several days before the teacher could look at me without turning bright red and bursting into mortifying laughter. I did manage to pull straight A’s, though, which was hardly consolation for my shredded teenage pride.

Wow, (Hushed voice.) That's truly horrible. Someday, I'll tell you about my walrus costume from the high school musical and we can share our PTSD experiences.

Next question: If you could live anywhere in the world, and in any type of house, what would you choose?


Hmm, that’s such a fun question! I would need to have a flying house so I could live several different places. I love England and have dear friends there, plus I completely adore Florida and any place with palm trees, and of course I’d want to be near family in Ohio and Kentucky, and I’ve always thought it might be cool to have my very own island somewhere... golly, there’s so many amazing places in the world! But the house itself would probably be a big, rambling, totally impractical Victorian with all sorts of add-ons and modernizations that would make architectural purists cringe with horror. And I’d need lots of room for all the critters, of course. Oh yeah, and a little nook for the husband and kids, too

Now tell us, Susan, why should we rush out and buy your latest release, Damsel in Disguise?

Oh, because it’s the best book ever, of course! (Yes, I’m laughing. You may, too.) I think Damsel In Disguise is a great choice for anyone who loves the light, humorous traditional Regency with all sorts of mistaken identity, clever lies, and quirky plot twists. It’s also pretty steamy, with a hero who, frankly, makes me kind of drool. Julia St. Clement is a resourceful actress who finds a creative way to survive just about anything, while her hero, Rastmoor, is a very determined guy who is willing to take some very big risks in order to get what he wants. There is plenty of adventure and laughter as they make their way back to forgiveness and true love.

Finally, I want to play a little game -- you may have played it before. Give us two truths and one lie about yourself, but don't tell which is which. That's our job to figure out, now that we know you so well.

Oh dear, I’m a terrible liar. Let’s see, what shall I say here? 1) I’m married to a minister and the little old ladies at church rush out to buy my books and giggle when they see me; 2) I once had a pet skunk that was de-scented and I taught it to use the toilet and even flush; 3) my sisters and I used to sing together for a local television talk show where we also performed comedy sketches.

Perfect! I can definitely see you performing a comedy sketch with your sisters, but then the skunk thing sounds more than possible...but it's always the one you don't expect in this game so...

Thank you so much, Banditas, and while Kirsten's thinking, I’d love to give a signed copy of DAMSEL IN DISGUISE to the first person who guesses which statement is a lie. (Okay, close friends and family, you’re exempt! Heck, you’ve probably gone out and bought three or four copies of my book already, right? Right?) Love’s funny sometimes, people!

83 comments:

flchen1 said...

Hi, Susan!

Tawny said...

What an incredibly fun interview :-D Susan, that is soo cool that you have a pet rooster. You were obviously meant to be here in the Lair :-)

Lets see... two truths and a lie? I'm going to guess the skunk is a lie, although I'd love to see a skunk flush a toilet :-D

Helen said...

Well done Fedora have fun with him

What a great blog Ladies so much fun I only did french for one term a long long time a go in high school and would not have know that word either and looking back over school days things that were so embarassing then are worth a laugh these days.

As for a guess on what is the truths and what is the lie a big guess but I am gonna go way out here and say 2) the skunk story LOL although we don't have them in Australia but then again I watched a lot of cartoons with Pepe in them and he was one clever skunk LOL so maybe it might be no 1).

Susan your book sounds wonderful I will be adding it to my must have list.

Have Fun
Helen

Jennieke Cohen said...

Hi Susan! I'm going to guess the most plausible of the three just to be different :) Number one for me.

Blodeuedd said...

I guess I will say number 3 then, if I trying to figure this out lol

Minna said...

My guess is number one.

Maureen said...

I think the skunk is a lie although that would be amazing if it wasn't.

Laurie said...

Your french class story ...humiliating... I feel for you!

You definitely have a sense of humor which I admire.

I do have your book on my TBR pile. I'm moving it up to the top!

The lie I hope was the skunk!

Your husband must be a saint!!

Anna Sugden said...

Fun blog, Susan and Kirsten - I know it will have all our BB's rushing out to buy Damsel in Disguise. I'll be waiting for the blasted Amazon pigeon to deliver my copy.

I'm guessing the skunk too - though I'd love to imagine one that's been descented!

Deb Marlowe said...

Hey--I'm the furthest thing from tall, but I want to hang out too! Seriously, it was great fun seeing you guys last week!

Loved the French story, Susan! You are a trooper for sharing it. :-)

Hey--we had a fire scare last year (chimney fire--it was put out quickly, thank goodness) and my list of things that I grabbed matched yours exactly--except that I forget to include the white pants. Man, that is brilliant! Hope I never have to worry about such a thing again, but if I do...I'll be thinking of you! :-)

Kirsten said...

Hey Fedora, congratulations on snagging the chook -- any chance you can potty train him while you have him?

Kirsten said...

Hey Tawny -- I'm leaning toward the skunk as well. Except that my husband really DID have a de-skunked skunk for a pet.

But no potty training. That sends it over the edge, doesn't it?

Kirsten said...

Hi Helen! I've got Susan's book on my list as well -- if she's half as funny on the page as she is in person, it's got to be fabulous. I can't believe I missed her previous book. :-P

Susan Gee Heino said...

Good morning, Banditas! Thanks for the great comments. I just love hanging out here with this crazy bunch. I am, however, going to leave everyone in the dark about my mysterious lie--just for a little while longer. I love feeling like I know something you don't know!

Kirsten said...

Jennieke, welcome and good morning! I think choosing the plausible one is a great strategy. The one that SOUNDS true can't be, right?

Kirsten said...

Blodeudd, I think you're the first vote for # 3 -- good guess! Except she is terribly funny.... ;-)

Kirsten said...

Hey Minna -- number one, huh? Is that because you think a minister's wife wouldn't use the word "dildo" in a blog post? LOL.

Kirsten said...

Hi Maureen -- I think a potty trained skunk would be awesome. In case that seems impossible, here's a YouTube video of a potty trained cat...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ug7WEUxH68

Kirsten said...

Laurie, I feel bad for Susan too. But WHAT ABOUT ME? Did you see that picture? The walrus costume? Hmmm? I lived through that, people!

Kirsten said...

Hi Anna! Thanks for stopping in -- I will wish extra large wings for that Amazon Carrier Pigeon. I can't wait to read Susan's book either! :-)

Susan Gee Heino said...

Kirsten, thanks so much for having me here! I'm loving the guesses. Maybe I won't ever tell and just let it go on and on... mwahahaha!

Kirsten said...

Deb, you can definitely hang out -- we love short people around here. Have you seen Susan Sey? Okay, she's not all that short, but what about Buffie? Now that's short! And so cute! :-) I'm 5'9, and my DREAM throughout high school was for someone to call me cute. Never happened (especially after that walrus incident!)

The chimney fire must have been scary. I think I would just panic and let everything burn. Except the computer. I'd save that.

Susan Gee Heino said...

Jennieke--it's so nice to see you here! Seems we've been literally tripping over one another lately...

Kirsten said...

Oooo, Susan's avatar has THAT DRESS on it. I love THAT DRESS!!!

Susan Gee Heino said...

Deb Marlowe--you gave me jewelry, girl, so you'll always be honorarily tall in my eyes. Sure, you can hang with us any time you want!

Susan Gee Heino said...

Thanks for the dress compliment, Kirsten. I'm actually a bit concerned that my avatar appears almost NOT to have that dress on it!

Kirsten said...

Susan, we might have to throw more at them just to see if they can guess truth and lies...

Here's mine: I grew a third nipple while I was pregnant with my first child.

TRUTH OR LIE?!

Susan Gee Heino said...

And speaking of outfits, Kirsten, oh my! The walrus costume! I certainly hope the school helped pay for therapy afterwards. (But let me just say it, there's something really CUTE about a teenage girl forced to dress as a blubbery aquatic mammal.) What in the world play were you doing?

Susan Gee Heino said...

OMG--a third nipple! I cannot even go there, Kirsten, since the very thought is taking me to very un-family-friendly places!

Okay, here's one--my father was raised Amish. True or Lie?

Kirsten said...

It was a musical named "Carnival". It was actually a VERY IMPORTANT part. I was one of four puppets who befriend the heroine. (Lily) My walrus was in love with Lily. Every time she came on stage I had to say (in my best walrus voice), "Touch My TOOOOSK, Lily!"

Again, I am amazed this actually occurred, and is not just a sick joke on a TV sitcom.

Kirsten said...

Hmmm, your father was RAISED Amish? Meaning at some point he STOPPED being Amish?

*Squints thoughtfully in Susan's direction*

Amish, huh?

I will have to ponder this.

Susan Gee Heino said...

I love your tooosk, Kirsten. Actually, I'm very familiar with CARNIVAL so I know your walrus story isn't a lie. Next time we get together we can sing the songs. "I came on two busses and a train..."

Joan said...

ROFL.....

I too am a new Susan Gee Heino fan/stalker after meeting you and spending time with you in Orlando. You're a hoot!

I saw your book in Waldenbooks yesterday and said "Yes! I now know her and she makes me laugh!" and bought it.

And OMG on the high school incident.

Hmmm.....I think the 3rd one is the lie because somehow it wouldn't surprise me that you trained a skunk to use the toilet.

And speaking of racoons....a neighbor put up a new mailbox post while I was in Orlando and it has a carved racoon on it! I think it's a sign!

And seriously Kirsten, you need to wear the walrus outfit to the RITAs next year.

Here's one from me: I set the world record for creme brulee eating at Epcot :)

Caren Crane said...

Susan, welcome! (And Fedora, enjoy the...er...cock today! *snork*)

It's always so nice to see that other people indulge in public humiliation, too. I don't feel so alone!

I say #3 is the lie! Some things are just too outre to be lies. Surely that's true of #2?

Susan Gee Heino said...

Joan, thanks for stalking me! I love stalkers who talk nice about me and buy my books! It was a blast to meet you in Orlando so I think I'll start stalking you back, okay?

Lisa Cooke said...

Hi Susan--I can't wait to get my hands on your new book. If it's half as much fun as the first, it'll be a great read!
Oh, and I'm guessing #3 is the lie (though I can't imagine you lying!)
Good luck on the new release!
Lisa

Susan Gee Heino said...

Hi, Lisa! Thanks so much. And you're right, I would never, ever lie! I really do still weigh what's listed on my driver's license.

Saralee said...

Hi, Susan!

What a great interview! You crack me up and Kirsten's questions were terrific! I loved Damsel in Disguise! And I don't seem to be able to stop using exclamation marks!

Whew. It's so very hard to tell which of the three statements are a lie, but I'll have to go with the skunk, although I can totally see you potty-training one. I bet you and your sisters were a great girl group.

Saralee

Cindy said...

Fabulous post, Susan. Worthy of a Pixie! Getting to know Susan Gee Heino? Hummm, let's see: Wonderful, brilliant writer, engaging person with a talent to move mountains. If you want Regency romance...look no further than our Susan G. A skunk? Huh? M'thinks that one might be the imposter, sweetie! More books please....and that's NO LIE! Hugs,

Cindy Nord

Donna MacMeans said...

Hi Susan -

I'm heading out in a few minutes to drive to my high school reunion tonight. I'll be chuckling the entire time thinking about your creative egg use. Tell me - have you gone to any of your high school reunions? Was the French teacher present?

I hope I count in the dear friends category and I already have my copy of Damsel in Distress ready for your autograph. But I do encourage everyone to grab this book. Susan is a hoot and it shows in her writing (grin). It's a great read.

Kirsten said...

Hi Joanie! You know, i'd get the willies every time I went past that mailbox -- they're suppose to be cute but man, those coons are MEAN.

I have to give you the creme bruele record -- you are fast. But I was pretty good, too. Disney knows how to do French food, that's for sure...

Kirsten said...

Hi Caren -- we missed you so much at Disney -- you could have gone head to head with Joanie on a creme bruele eating contest!

So you have suggested you engage in a little public humiliation as well? Any stories you'd be willing to share? Hmmmm???

Sheri Adkins said...

I'm one of those friends exempt from the content who ran out to buy several copies of Damsel! Serioulsy, I just LOVE Susan's fun, sexy, feel-good stories. In fact, Susan, my kids are blaming you for their PB&J dinner last night, since I was caught up in reading.

But, ya know, my high school embarrassment of accidently flashing my entire senior class still beats your dildo faux pas (though that's a great one too!) Any other great high school horror stories out there???

Donna MacMeans said...

Hey Susan - Forgot to tell you. A skunk was in our garage all last night - I didn't know. My husband is working the third shift this week. We think the critter snuck in while the garage door was open in anticipation of his leaving to go to work around midnight. All night long I kept hearing noises that I thought were in the house, but couldn't find anything. When dh came home in the morning, he found the poor guy trapped in a pvc pipe with his legs trapped in a badminton net. The dh carefully cut the netting off and the skunk ran out of the garage and took across several yards. No spraying involved. Heck had I known a skunk was there, I would have called you for instructions (grin).

Margaret said...

Hey Susan: I just picked up a copy of DAMSEL (yes, I was Snoopy Dancing in B&N when I found it at the end of the aisle) I plan to read it on vacation with family. It will be the perfect escape.

Thanks!
Margaret

Susan Gee Heino said...

Sheri--yes, your flashing story totally whups mine. I bow to your slip-on-the-gym-floor-skirt-over-your-head-at-the-senior-class-election-speech story. Mine is not even close to that. Good thing nobody else knows about it!

And thanks for buying my book, and actually reading it! Luv U.

The Name Is CHERYL said...

I went to high school with Susan and I've never heard the French class story, so she must have been mortified! Madam Neely didn't share that story with the 4th year French class either.

Susan Gee Heino said...

Donna--I'm so jealous of your skunk story! Or then again, is this one of those secret lies folks have been posting and you're just trying to catch me up in it? I mean, seriously, it does seem a bit suspicious that with all that fishing net and PVC entrapment nobody got sprayed. Unless it was a juvenile skunk and not fully developed in that department yet... Okay, I'll call it plausible and applaud your brave hubby.

Susan Gee Heino said...

Margs--thanks for snoopy dancing in public on my behalf. And I truly, truly hope the book will help you escape your family. Would a plane ticket to someplace far away help? Luv u 2!

Minna said...

I'm melting... It's august and it's still over 30 degrees celcius. And I have to breath in that smoke that comes from Russian forest fires.

Buster Poindexter - Hot Hot Hot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrhf_zgtmAg

Kuorosota 2010 [2]// Kuopio - Paradise City
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DVsF6JFIJ0

Kuorosota 2010// Joensuu - Pohjois-Karjala
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcUC9J1DYGA

Susan Gee Heino said...

Ah, Cheryl! Or Shirley or Charolle or whatever the heck your name is. LOL You have no idea how happy I am to hear Madame Neely didn't share the joy of my humiliation with you 4th years at that time. I think Mr. Neely looked kind of funny at me whenever I walked past the choir room, though. Oh, what sweet memories. Wonder why we all left that place as soon as humanly possible?

Susan Gee Heino said...

Cindy--Okay, the check is in the mail, my overly kind Pixie Sister! Thanks for the glowing praise and it's great to see you here. Congrats on all those contests you and your Civil War story keep racking up!

Susan Gee Heino said...

Hi Saralee! I'm not going to tell you if your guess is correct, but I am going to use lots of exclamation points! Thanks for stopping by today! And thanks for saying such lovely things about my book! You know you wouldn't have to and I'd still love you!

Kim in Hawaii said...

Aloha, Susan! I'm not even going to guess as all three could be true (I think the church ladies are probably your biggest fans).

What's the connection between romance and roosters? The GR prances around the Lair. You had a pet rooster as did Kathryn Falk (she took it to the RT convention one year).

Your cover is gorgeous and the plot is cute ... so I'll just go ahead and order it!

Susan Gee Heino said...

Aloha, Kim! Thanks for dropping by. I shall picture you wearing a lei and sipping a drink by the ocean with a volcano in the background. (How close am I?)If I were the type of person who lied, I would tell you Hawaii sounds like a horrible place to have to live. (But I don't, and it really sounds great!)Mahalo and all that.

Amy Atwell said...

Great interview, Susan. And I must run out and buy DAMSEL because you know how much I loved MISTRESS.

Susan Gee Heino said...

Thanks so much, Amy. It's gerat to see another Pixie here. And I hope you like DAMSEL. (If you don't, it's okay to lie to me!)

Joan said...

It was a blast to meet you in Orlando so I think I'll start stalking you back, okay?

OMG, I'd be honored! You can stalk me while I stalk PJ for her turtles, she can stalk both of us.

Wait...we wouldn't get very far going around in circles! LOL Oh, and be forewarned, I covet my friends and stalkers clothing and accessories. I too LOVED that dress!!

Unless it was a juvenile skunk and not fully developed in that department yet...

Ok...this scares me just a LITTLE bit that you are so well versed on the art of skunk!

In Orlando...Suz thought the ducks were skunks and last year Susan had rabid squirrel issues.


:-D

Anna Campbell said...

Hey, Susan, always fun to see you at Nationals. Even if we were ships that passed in the night! Congratulations on the new release! Sounds delicious! Kirsten, lovely interview!

Oh, dear, Susan, the dildo story was cringe-worthy. Funny, but cringe-worthy. I remember asking what 'tumescent' meant in an English class at university and then wondering why nobody answered me. Kathleen Woodiwiss failed to educate me in that particular word, snort!

My pick for the lie is the skunk.

Susan Gee Heino said...

Okay, Joan, we're stalking in circles. Sort of like rabid racoons, as a matter of fact.

Anna--glad to see you here today! Or is it tomorrow? I always get confused about that dateline thing.

And yes, I did have to go look up tumescent. It's an adjective that apparently means "swellling; somewhat timid". Now, just what swelling has to do with being timid, I cannot say. I do not want to say. I can imagine a few things, though. Anna, care to elaborate? LOL

Beth Trissel said...

What a fun site! Loved the ummm egg story. Hey Susan G. I know your books are fabulous, no need to convince me.

Suzanne Ferrell said...

Welcome to the Lair Susan! As an Ohio native, I too, would love a flying home so I could spend time around my family....but then be able to jet to the beach or the mountains or back to the warm winters of Texas!

Love the sound of your book! I always love a heroine who works on taking care of herself, yet still needs the help of her hero to find love!

Suzanne Ferrell said...

For the lie? I'm going with singing professionally on TV.

Since I know exactly what the little ladies from my home church read...(yes my steamy, but not erotic books have made the rounds)...I'm thinking that might just be a possibility for a truth!

And don't ask Joanie about my recent "skunk" experience!

Barbara E. said...

I'm guessing #1)I’m married to a minister and the little old ladies at church rush out to buy my books and giggle when they see me. That sounds so improbable, it just can't be true, LOL.

I laughed at the French class story, that was hilarious.

I do love the light, humorous traditional Regency with all sorts of mistaken identity, clever lies, and quirky plot twists. so I'm very eager to read Damsel in Disguise.

Susan Anne Mason said...

Hi Susan,

I'll have to go with the skunk one. Not so much that he was de-scented, but that he FLUSHED THE TOILET! Geesh. If only I could get our cats to do that!

Love the look of your new book and will be on the lookout for it in the stores!

Cheers,

Sue

Virginia said...

Hi Susan, love your books, great post! I am going to say the skunk story is a lie because of it flushing the tolet! I just don't see anyone with a pet skuck. I would love to read your new book.

Kris Kennedy said...

Susan~
Bahahaha....Dildo....bahahahaha. You sweetie. That *stinks.* What a great story though! See, you were meant to write funny, sexy stories.

And Kirsten, I bahahaha-ed on "Touch my toooosk, Lily," equally hard. :-)

My guess is you're lying now, and *none* of them are lies. They're all true. What? No? Okay, fine, umm, #2.


Great interview!!

Helen said...

Kirsten

Pregnancy can do wierd things to people but growing a 3rd nipple LOL.

Susan

I am going to say truth about your father being raised amish

Great post Ladies

Have Fun
Helen

Kirsten said...

Hi Kris! Glad you enjoy the humiliation. :-) Funny how all the best stories come from high school. I guess we're just primed to do stupid things in front of audiences when we're young. LOL.

Kirsten said...

Helen -- pregnancy hormones ARE weird...that's all I'm saying...

bevp said...

Bonjour, Susan! Enjoyed the interview.I'm guessing the skunk is a lie.

Looking forward to reading Damsel in Disguise. (Loved Mistress By Mistake!)Congratulations on your second release.

Kris Kennedy said...

Kirsten~
Sadly, most of my humiliations seemed to come in college. I was oblivious through much of high school, and didn't realize people were laughing at me. :-)

And I *lovingly* enjoyed your humiliation. It was all kind sympathy inside me when I burst out laughing. :-)

Kirsten said...

Kris, I must confess that I had NO IDEA how bad that costume was until a picture of it surfaced during my 20 year high school reunion this summer. Seriously, I remember that costume as cute.

*shakes head* Amazing how teenagers can be so clueless -- make a huge production out of someone no one notices, and be completely oblivious to something genuinely horrific. :-)

Susan Gee Heino said...

Still rockin' in the lair, I see! Sorry I had to go MIA for a little while and miss commenting on a few posts. (Family obligations, and all--Amish skunks and stuff.)

Thanks for all the kind words here! (Seriously, that's not a lie.) I'll let you know pretty soon here which juicy tid bits are true, and which are not.

Kirsten said...

I'm headed out to a BBQ at a friends' house, so I'll say goodnight -- and let you all know that my nipple story is TRUE!

I was pregnant with my first kid and noticed something that looked like a large, somewhat strangely shaped mole on my chest near my upper arm. On one of my regular visits, I pointed it out to my OB and asked if she thought I should get it checked out.

She said, no, it was a *somethingsomething* that I don't recall but I think had the word "mammary" in it. In other words, the doctor explained, it was the same type of tissue in a nipple; the production of hormones during pregnancy can make it spring up like a mole.

AWK. Other women probably have them, but don't really notice because they're often small and look like a mole. But I'm paranoid about moles (fair skin and all that) so I noticed.

Ha! So...that's the true story of the third nipple!

Louisa Cornell said...

I'm late! I had to work all day! But I had to drop by and SQUEEEEEEE for my Pixie Sister (and fellow cheesecake lover)!!

Yes, the GR is apt to make even the most confident of rooster's jealous!!

Can't wait to read this book, sister!


I'm thinking the skunk story is the stinker. Potty trained? Maybe! Flushing the toilet? We can't even teach MEN to do that!

Susan Sey said...

Kirsten, are you horning in on my girl-crush with Susan? We Susans stick together!

But...hey, there's always room for one more at the party. :-)

Susan, thanks for swinging by! I loved your story about French class! Maybe there's something about French & embarrassment because I once tried to step over a desk in French class & split my skirt right up to my hoohah. Nice, huh?

My folks wouldn't let me transfer either.

Damsel in Disguise sounds wonderful, & there's a B&N coupie burning a hole in my purse as we speak. I think there might be a trip to the book store on my Sunday schedule. :-)

p.s. Hey, Kirsten? Nice walrus suit. :-)

Susan Gee Heino said...

Louisa, it's always a joy to chat with you. When you get done scarfing down that Australian chocolate, let's get together for some more cheesecake! We can trade critter stories, Pixie Sis!

Susan Gee Heino said...

Ah, Susan, my name twin! Thank you for introducing me to Kirsten. And thank you for sharing your French class story--that's totally worse than mine. At least I had no hoohah involved. However did we all survive those years? But what great fodder we've got for books today, right?

Susan Gee Heino said...

Kirsten--I feel so inadequate, only having the very ordinary pair of nipples and no extras! LOL That is one awesome story. I really hadn't pegged it for being true.

And while we're on the subject of confession, I'll admit that the potty-trained skunk was my lie. It was our neighbors who had it, not me. But isn't that odd, a pet skunk that was potty trained? We had a cat once that used the toilet and then we taught it to flush, but I didn't know I skunk could be so trained!

So this means my husband really is a minister and the church ladies do read my books and giggle, and my sisters and I did sing and do skits together on a local TV talk show. It was horrible and we were horrible and it was on cable, but we had fun with it.

Oh, and one other thing; my father was not raised Amish, but he did grow up without electricity or running water and they did farm with horses. But it wasn't a religious thing, just that his father didn't like none of them durn modern contraptions. Fortunately, my dad did not take after him.

Susan Gee Heino said...

Thanks for having in the lair today, Banditas! It's such a blast to hang with you all. And thanks so much to the many visitors who stopped by! Woo hoo, you all are awesome.

What I'll do to select a winner is go through posts and randomly select a winner from those who guessed the skunk story. The lucky winner should be posted by tomorrow morning.

Thanks again!

Joan said...

my father was not raised Amish, but he did grow up without electricity or running water and they did farm with horses.

Yes, but could he make a good butter kuchen?

Great having you here Susan!

Susan Gee Heino said...

That's funny, Joan! No, my poor backward paternal family was English and not at all well known for great culinary skills. Sadly, butter kuchen was not in grandma's repertoire! She did can the most unusual items, though...

It was great being here, everyone. According to my random drawing (I let my husband blindly select the winner so I would not be able to play favorites) the winner is:

Kris Kennedy

So Kris, come on down! You're the next big Winner in Disguise! You can contact me through my website www.SusanGH.com or any other way and we can work out the details. I might try to negotiate a swap--my Damsel for your hot Irish Warrior.