Your Sweetest Little Sin

by Christine Wells

With the Banditas shortly descending on Mickey Land and Joanie T's determination to drag whoever will come with her on the It's a Small World ride, I thought it fitting to do a tribute to all those catchy songs, TV shows, books, foods that you know are either in bad taste or bad for you but you just can't get them out of your head or off your playlist or off your plate!

(Not that I would ever allege that It's a Small World is in bad taste or bad for you, just so we're clear! It's the catchy part I was thinking of there. OK, Joanie? OK?)

Here's my list:

Music:

Kylie Minogue's Can't Get You Out of My Head. Like the song says, I can't get it out of my head once I hear it on the radio. Another catchy tune is the Woolworth's supermarket Fresh Food People jingle (solely an Oz invention, I assume!) -- caught myself humming along to that one in the supermarket the other day, talk about embarrassing!

And Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night by Black-Eyed Peas. They use a snatch of this song instead of a school bell at my son's school and boy does that song run in annoying monotone circles round my brain all day!

Books:

Do you have any series that are just addictive? I can't go past an Elizabeth George Inspector Lynley mystery. I just have to know what happens next in the saga of Inspector Lynley, even though I don't care an awful lot about the murder mystery itself.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of reading matter, Marie Claire magazine. I buy it for the articles. Truly! I know it's just a big ol' waste of money but I can't resist. Oh, look, free sunglasses this month. Shiny!

TV Shows:

Wait for it... Entourage! Yes, I know, I know. It's sick:) But I have to laugh sometimes at the parallels between the crazy ups and downs of Hollywood and the publishing world and shake my head over the insanity of it all.

I'm also getting a kick out of How I Met Your Mother, which brings back memories of my own crazy friends in those pre-married, pre-kid years. And look at that, Doogie Howser is all grown up!

The last one, which Vrai Anna recommended a while back is ACE OF CAKES. Not only do they make phenomenal cakes (anyone see the Hogwarts episode?) but they're a fun group of people to watch.

Food:

My Sweetest Little Sin (yeah, you know I had to throw THAT in *G*) is choc chip cookies. I cannot resist them, especially the ones I make myself. I have to ban myself from the supermarket aisle with the choc chips in it so I don't throw them in the trolley. I also cannot start the day without a jumbo cup of instant Moccona Indulgence coffee. I know. It's sacrilege. I'm a coffee slob, what can I say?

Over to you, Bandita Buddies! What are your guilty little secrets, hmm? The winner will receive a signed copy of SWEETEST LITTLE SIN!

SWEETEST LITTLE WINNERS!

AND the winners from the Sweetest Little Sin release party arrrrre...

Virginia

Anastasia St. James

Debra Key Newhouse

Come on down and grab your signed copy of SWEETEST LITTLE SIN by emailing your snail addy to christine AT christine-wells DOT com.

Thanks for playing everyone!

SWEETEST LITTLE SIN RELEASE PARTY -- SPY VS BANDITA?

Scene: The deepest depths of the Romance Bandits' lair--a place unlovingly referred to by its inhabitants as the deadline cave.

Two furtive figures appear from nowhere. One distracts the two cabana boys guarding the cave entrance, allowing the other to steal up behind and knock the CBs' pretty heads together. Stunned, the cabana boys crumple to the floor. Clearly, the Bad Banditas were not in charge of security in the deadline cave tonight.

The two intruders separate and move in different directions through the dark corridors, systematically riffling through desks and filing cabinets in each room.

Most of the cells are unoccupied--there seems to be some sort of party going on above--but in one room sits a little dark haired Bandita tapping away at her laptop, chugging instant coffee and muttering to herself.

In one swift motion, a tall, dark (and handsome!) figure steps up behind and puts a blade to the Bandita's throat. The muttering becomes a strangled shriek, but the intruder clamps his hand over the Bandita's mouth to smother the sound.

A voice, which the Bandita knows only too well, murmurs in her ear...

The Marquis of Jardine: Mrs. Wells, I presume? Stand up, now, slowly. In a moment, I'm going to take my hand away from your mouth. You know me well enough to guess what I'll do if you make the slightest sound. Do you understand?

Obediently, the hapless author rises and turns around

Christine Wells: [Thinks] Wow. He really is as devastatingly gorgeous as I imagined when I wrote him. And scary. Mustn't forget the scary part. Careful of the knife blade, she nods.

Jardine slowly removes hand from her mouth but keeps the knife too close for comfort.

Jardine: It has come to my attention that you mean to publish a book. One that contains top secret information about a recent mission of mine.

Christine: [Thinks] I didn't write this part, but I'm willing to go with it. Forget Lady Louisa! Take ME as your prisoner, Jardine!

[Says] Well... it's mainly a romance, really. I mean there are some suspense elements but they're, um, you know... larger than life. Highly improbable. She shrugs and looks apologetic. I made it all up.

Jardine: Romance?Jardine's eyes narrow dangerously. Mrs. Wells, are you mocking me?

Christine: Me? Mock? You? No! Mocking is not at all what I had in mind, actually...

A tall, slim blonde woman enters the room, reading a blue covered book.

Christine: [Mutters] Oh, nuts.

Lady Louisa Brooke: Jardine, do stop terrorizing the poor woman. It is a romance, after all. See? [Reads aloud] "Damn you, Louisa.” The soft growl was all she heard before a savage, beautiful mouth found hers." Louisa tilts her head and stares at Jardine's savage, beautiful mouth. I think that's rather good.

Jardine: Good? Have you taken leave of your senses, my lady?

Louisa flips the page

Louisa: [laughs] Oh! Were we really that naughty?

Christine: Most of it was unprintable.

Jardine: Hand it over, Louisa! I'll be the judge of... Good God!

Christine: [whispers to Louisa] Don't worry, everyone knows that's just a body double on the cover.

Ahem! Anyway, it's too late to stop publication, I'm afraid. In fact, SWEETEST LITTLE SIN will hit bookstores this very day. Christine looks at watch Oh, no, is that the time? I'm supposed to be at the release party by now! Sven! WHERE'S MY COCKTAIL? Demetrius, where's your shield? For that matter, where's your tunic, you naughty Roman!

Christine hurries away, leaving Jardine and Louisa engrossed in the story of how they lied, spied, schemed and fought their way to their happily ever after.

Louisa: Looks around. It appears we're alone, darling. Shall we join the party upstairs?

Jardine: I've never been one for parties. But, having read this book, something rather more interesting does rather leap to mind. Grins evilly. Come here, my love...

At this point, the CCTV footage goes blank. Even in the 21st century, the Marquis of Jardine knows a thing or two about maintaining the utmost secrecy regarding his affairs.

Much later...

Upstairs, the party is in full swing. Sven the Swedish masseur has the baby oil in one hand and a cocktail shaker in the other. The Romans are organizing shield sledding teams and the hockey hunks are relaxing with some of the Bandita Buddies by the pool. Sundry Banditas are giving fencing, shooting and chandelier-swinging lessons and drinking raspberry mojitos out of bucket boots.

Two figures emerge, a little dishevelled, from the deadline cave.

Louisa: Gracious! What a party!

Jardine: That's not a party, that's a ...................!!!

For the chance to win one of three signed copies of SWEETEST LITTLE SIN, fill in the blank at the end of Jardine's sentence!

Just Point Your Finger and Laugh

by Christine Wells

Lately, I've come to a conclusion that is both slightly depressing and rather freeing.

I am one of those mothers who make all the other mothers feel good.

I am the mother who arrives at school, wild-haired and sans makeup, carrying a rigid 3 year old who is still screaming because he didn't get into the car first; simultaneously trying to calm her anxious 7 year old because we're a little later than usual and he won't have the privilege of turning on the class computers.

I am the mother who forgets her camera on sports days and begs a friend to snap her child, who sends her son in uniform when it's one of those 'wear orange for an obscure cause' days. Who looks vague when people mention tuckshop, Parents and Friends' Association and slings a money at any fundraising initiative rather than commit to actually spending the time. Because she knows she'll either mess it up or forget entirely.

My name is Christine Wells and I am a writer on a deadline.

Not sure if you all have experienced something similar to the kind of haze that falls over a writer when she's in the writing zone, but it is an awesome and frightening thing. I can lose track of time, forget all but the most crucial responsibilities. When I'm in that phase where my creative brain seems to take up all the space in my head it is very hard to shift gears into Mommy mode.

Take Easter, for example. The note that told parents we had to make an Easter bonnet so that our children could participate in the junior school Easter parade didn't find its way home to me. I knew about the parade of course, but last year, the kids made their hats in school.

Arrived on the day before Good Friday (early because of those dang computers) and waited outside the classroom for the teacher. The horror when all those boys and girls started streaming up the stairs with their fancy hats on and here was my poor 7year old with not a feather, curly pipe cleaner or painted egg to his name.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME????" I wailed. My son looked at me with his gorgeous big eyes as if I'd run mad. "Oh, yeah," he said.

"Never fear," said I. "I'll go home now and make one." He shrugged a little. "OK."

That resulted in what has to be the fastest craft activity in the history of the universe. After raiding the local newsagent for supplies, I had an extravaganza of a hat ready and raced back to the school to deliver it. Then I went home and cried. Everyone knows this kind of thing scars a child for life!!

I AM A BAD MOTHER!!!

But when regaling the other mothers with my incompetence later in the day, I realized that I perform a very useful and important function in our little community. When someone else is mortified by some glaring omission they've made, all they have to do is look at me.

And then they feel better.

You might imagine, then, that it's with great relish that I write heroes and heroines who are far more competent than I could ever be. In SWEETEST LITTLE SIN, Lady Louisa Brooke is a crack shot and a keen horsewoman. When she's asked to spy for her country, she's unschooled and makes mistakes but she learns quickly and has bucketloads of courage, especially when protecting her loved ones.

Lady Louisa doesn't forget what time her secret assignations are or leave her pistol in her other reticule when the going gets dangerous. I bet she'd make a mean Easter bonnet, too.

The ruthless and dangerous Marquis of Jardine is frighteningly competent. He has uncanny omniscience and cunning, which makes it a challenge to deceive him, as Louisa is intent on doing. But he has one vulnerability, and that's his love for one steely-eyed blonde.

So here's my question to you, readers. Who are your favourite gutsy, competent heroes and heroines? Any funny motherhood stories to tell? C'mon, share the humiliation. At least you'll make everyone else feel better!

Last month, I offered a prize of Sweetest Little Sin, which will be delievered to the winner as soon as they reach my hot little hands! The winner is: Deb!!!!

This month, I'm doing something a little different. Louisa and Jardine first come onto the scene in an earlier book, THE DANGEROUS DUKE, so today I'm offering three signed copies of THE DANGEROUS DUKE to three lucky commenters. Be sure to let me know if you want a copy, as I know a lot of you have already read it. Good luck!

Location, Location, Location!

by Christine Wells

Recently, I had the rather surreal experience of looking for a house to live in while also searching for a location in which to set my next historical romance. You will understand that I felt rather embittered by the contrast between the mansions my fictitious heroines get to swan around in and the type of house to which my budget stretches.

One might call it "Palace Envy".*G*

Where I live, many houses are made of wood in the traditional style we call the Queenslander. These houses were built with a view to minimizing the subtropical heat. They're set up on stilts so that air can flow through in a kind of natural cooling system. Quite different from English houses that are designed to hold the heat in, as well as accommodate a large number of people, including servants.

However, despite the obvious differences, the process of finding a house for me and for my heroine is quite similar. While looking for abodes for my family to abide in while our house is renovated, I had a list of criteria to shop for:

Location (not built on a train line or next to an electricity substation, close to my son's school, etc)

Number of bedrooms (extra points if room for a study for yours truly)

Decent bathrooms and kitchen, room for children and Monty the dog to play (fenced, of course).

Likewise, when searching for a suitably palatial setting for my books, I have loose criteria such as period, place, surroundings, layout, where on the scale of grandeur this house has to fit given the status and wealth of its occupants, and how it might accommodate scenes that are already dancing through my head or inspire new ones.

Now, a fictional place doesn't have to be based on a real one, of course and if I can't find a suitable house, I make it up. I also modify the interior layout but I do like to start with what is typical in that type of house.

In the eras from which my Regency houses date, they tended to use local materials--local stone, such as the gorgeous honey coloured Ham Hill stone they used to build Montacute House in Somerset (top, left).

I set SWEETEST LITTLE SIN partly at the villain's estate and I had great fun researching that one. I wanted Radleigh to be a parvenu, a social climber who had appeared in London after supposedly making his fortune abroad.

I found an excellent house in Sezincote, an Indian phantasmagoria that inspired the Brighton Pavillion. It boasts a wonderful copper minaret and spear-like poles that give the illusion of an exotic tent. The drive is guarded by bronze elephants and there are all kinds of interesting grottos and gardens dotted around the estate that continue the Indian theme, a mixture of Hindu and Islamic motifs that echo the attempt of Mogul ruler Akbar to integrate the two cultures.

I think it's rather gorgeous, but of course the nobility at the time would have turned up their noses, just as they did when Prinny built his summer palace at the seaside. To quote one wit in SWEETEST LITTLE SIN, "It was as if an Indian palace had mated with an English manor and spawned a particularly hideous child."
Was that unfair? I'll leave it for you to judge.

Just a note--the Hindu pavillion with all the erotic carvings came from my other research and my imagination--not from Sezincote. But perhaps you'll have fun spotting the settings that do.

So here's my question to you, gentle readers! What house or setting from a romance novel would you love to have for your own and why? One reader will win a signed copy of SWEETEST LITTLE SIN when it comes out in May.