Friday, July 9, 2010

Josie Brown Dishes Secrets

by Tawny

I remember the first time I met Josie Brown. A good friend had invited me over to hang out for the day, explaining that Josie would be there and that I JUST HAD TO meet this gal. Josie, she explained, was fun, savvy and smart. As usual, my friend was right. Not only is Josie fun, savvy and smart, she's one helluva writer, too. I'm super jazzed to have her visit with us today and chat about her newest book, SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES.

Six Secrets He Will Always Keep from You

I had a blast writing my latest novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives. Why? Because whereas much as the process of writing is in itself cathartic, with this book I got to delve deeper into all those dirty little secrets we keep from our loved ones—and that they keep from us.
In Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, everyone in Paradise Heights, the neighborhood where my heroine Lyssa lives, tries to keep their true selves under wraps. But when the marriage of the community’s “perfect couple” unravels and infidelity is suspected, everyone else's secrets are exposed, too.

My research into what the men in our lives keep from us was truly enlightening. Here are six of the most common secrets our men keep from us:

1. Sorry to be the one to deliver the news, but YES: he’s hiding something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know: he’s told you he’s never lied to you, that he’ll always be honest. But guess what? There are certain things he can’t admit to you—because he can’t even admit them to himself. It may be his fear about money. Or a fantasy he has, but is ashamed to tell you about. Or maybe it has something to do with an incident at work. Whatever it is, DON'T ASK. Just know that, if and when he's ready, he'll tell.

2. You aren’t the woman he fantasizes about.
She may be the centerfold of a magazine, or that old flame that still burns a little in his gut. Whomever she is, she may be his fantasy, but you’re his reality, so enjoy what you have. Oh, and make him your fantasy. In bed.

3. He really doesn’t listen to you.
But of course, you already know this. That’s why, when ask him why he didn’t do the one thing you asked him to do for you today, he blinks like Bambi in headlights , coughs into his hand, and makes up some lame excuse. It’s a genetic condition: Dumfuckness. The cure: Tell him again—after sex.

4. He’d like to spice up your love life.
Admit it: sometimes you’re bored in bed. Well, he is too. So, why won’t he come clean about this? Because he’s afraid you’ll say “No way!” or Eewwww, yuck!”. Why not surprise him, and tell him what you really want? It may be what he wants, too. Talk about FUN.

5. You annoy him.
Don’t look so shocked. You know it, too. We’re not talking all the time here. We’re talking about that little thing you do—that one (or two, or three) little habits that you’d like to kick too. Maybe it’s the way you click your tongue. Or that you play with your hair. Or the way you giggle. Whatever it is, he puts up with it because he loves you.

And besides, you put up with his crap, too.

6. He's lied to your face.

Did he have a good reason for doing so? Maybe. He may have been doing it so that he doesn’t hurt your feelings (“Does my ass look big in this” “Hum…No, hon, you look just fine.” Or may protecting one of your kids from your kick-ass wrath over something he, too, did as a kid (and got away with).

Now, if you catch him in a lie, do yourself a favor: make the crime fit the punishment.

But just remember this: If he’s lying about the size of your ass, it's his way of saying he loves you, just the way you are.

And for that, he deserves a kiss.

Speaking of secrets and lies, time to 'fess up! (1) What is the one secret you've kept from your guy? (2) What is the one lie of yours that he's never caught onto? (3) What is the one lie you caught him in? Answer any one of these questions here under "comments" and I'll include you in a drawing for a copy of my book! Answer all three, and your triple your chances!

Click here to read an excerpt of Josie’s book, and to read some of the wonderful reviews it’s been getting.

Josie is the author of several novels. Her most recent book, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, [Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press] can be found at Target or your local bookstore. In fact, if you click a picture of the book inside your local Target store and post it here under comments, or email it to Josie at, your name will be included in a drawing for a $25 Target card. Just be sure to include the Target location you found it. Get clicking!


limecello said...

Hi Josie :D

limecello said...

Er... those questions require more thought than I'm capable of. I need to be up in 2.5 hrs to head to the airport for RomCon T_T
If you're not going, maybe you should be thankful because I think I'm going to be a snarly monster :X [The sleep deprivation.]

flchen1 said...

Hi, Josie! What an intriguing post! And what questions!

Let's see... I know it's impossible for me to hide my TBR from my husband, considering how our house is slowly but surely filling up with books, but I don't believe he quite realizes the extent that books are taking over all free space :) And well, those e-books? Let's just keep those between you and me, OK?

Congrats on the GR, Lime! Hope he's a suitable traveling companion for you--have a safe trip! I know you'll have fun!

Tawny said...

LOL Lime - It sounds like the Rooster will have his work cut out for him if you're not a happy camper while traveling!

But have a GREAT time at Rom Con, and give our Anna a big hi!!

Tawny said...

LOLOL Fedora. Oh yeah, those ebooks are so much easier to hide!!

hrdwrkdmom aka Dianna said...

Hi Josie, I am loving the sound of
Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, I like the 6 secrets too and I have no doubt they are true.

(1) What is the one secret you've kept from your guy?
How much I spend on my son. Actually anything about my finances cause, well, I am an independant kind of gal and unless he is paying for something in my household it isn't his business.

(2) What is the one lie of yours that he's never caught onto?
Again with the finances, I send money to my married daughter when I really shouldn't. They live above their means and need to deal with their mistakes the same way I did.

(3) What is the one lie you caught him in?
LOL, several actually, not big ones but lies nevertheless. He didn't really have to work the weekend I wanted to go out, he was holed up at his house watching tv and then going fishing the next morning. He went fishing without me! That was a crime almost punishable by death.

Anonymous said...

Lemoncello! OMG! You will HAVE A BLAST!!!! Alas, I'm going to be in Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver in the next week -- so alas, no, not Denver...But have drink with Tawny in my honor!

: ) Josie

Josie Brown, said...

Dear flchen1,

I love it! If you're going to fib about something innocent, books are as innocent as it gets...except for Tawny's of course! Okay, you're in!

Josie Brown, said...

Dear Hrdwrkdmom,

You're answers are VERY interesting... I would imagine you guyz have Lucy & Ricky syndrome (which means you'd be a hoot to live next door to, 'coz your antics keep the neighbors in stitches...Him hiding out from you, indeed! 2 funnee!) Okay, you're in the competition, for sure!

:) J

Helen said...

Have fun at RomCon Lime I am sure the GR will as well.

Hi Josie

I really like the sound of this book and yes there are always lies I guess although that is one thing I try hard not to do LOL.

What is the one secret you have kept from your guy?

Probably how much I spend on the books I order LOL he does know I spend a bit but not as much as I do.

What is the one lie of yours that he has never caught onto?

How many of the books I have at home that are my TBR pile

What is the one lie you caught him in?

There have been a few mainly with him telling me he will be home from soccer at a certain time so as I can have dinner ready and all the feeble excuses he comes up with as to why he is hours late and when he turns his mobile phone off so I can't get a hold of him he tells me it wasn't off.

Thanks Tawny for inviting Josie along to meet us today

Have Fun

runner10 said...

Good morning Josie.
Your book sounds so interesting. Definitely makes me take a second look at my neighbors.
1. How much a new outfit really cost.
2. Suddenly not feeling well when he is ready to visit his family.
Promise not to tell.
3. He has told me for years that he likes my baked fish when finally confessed he doesn't.
Really, nothing big here. I have a great husband.

Fun post. Can't wait to read more.
Good luck on the book!!

PJ said...

Hi Josie! Congrats on your book! Sounds like a very interesting premise. Alas, there's no guy in my life but I sure will be watching the neighbors a lot more carefully from now on! LOL!

p226 said...

Ummmmm, waitaminute here.

1. "YES: he's hiding something."

Unless by omission, because I think it's too trivial to take up our time, I am not. Like Popeye, I yam what I yam. She seems to deal with that ok.

2. "You aren't the woman he fantasizes about."

Bull. Shit.

Some of the banditas have SEEN my wife. She's the one I fantasize about, my friends fantasize about, my teenage son's friends fantasize about, and all those dudes with the pivoting heads at the beach last week, yeah, them too. She's hot in street clothes. But in a bikini, every single male head turns when she walks by.

3. He doesn't really listen to you.

Ok ok, you might have me there. Sometimes. I'm just one of those people that focuses in on something when I focus in. So, if she really has my attention, she has it 100%. But if she's trying to talk to me while I'm, oh... commenting on a blog entry, or working, or doing something else.... mm... yeah, she might find herself frustrated and repeating herself.

I'm working on it.

4. He'd like to spice up your love life.

Duh! I wonder if it's possible ... WHILE skydiving. Wonder if she'd go for it.....

5. You annoy him.

Not nearly as much as one would expect. Sure, there are a couple of little quirks that I find annoying, but they're quite minimal. I'm probably the annoying one.

6. He's lied to your face.

I don't know about that. If I have, it was a long time ago, and I'm sure about something trivial. I'm just one of these people that's "wired honest." I'm a horrible, horrible liar, and my wife is a walking bullshit detector. Seriously, that show "lie to me?" Yeah. It's about her. Or at least someone exactly like her. You can't lie to that woman. She'll bust you out every time.

Beth said...

Josie!!! I'm so glad you're here and I'm so excited about Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives! Loved, loved, loved the excerpt on your website - hope you all check it out :-)

Okay, I'm technically supposed to be writing but I HAD to pop in and say Hello *g*

Virginia said...

Hi Josie, great post! Let me see with these questions, it I told my secret here on line then it wouldn't be a secret anymore. I can't think of any lies I have told right now but I am sure there has been a few, not sure of any I have caught him in but I am sure I have caught him in a few over the years. Brain is just now awake yet! Although there has been several books I have bought that I told my hubby that I won them or my sister bought them for me.

Congrats lime on the rooster!

Donna MacMeans said...

Congrats on the rooster, Lime - have a great time in Denver!

Hi Josie - This sounds like a fun book. After 37 years of marriage, I'm quite sure there has been some lying here and there along the way. I'm sure my husband has fantasies - but he's not the only one (grin).

Tawny said...

Hey Dianna :-)

I hear you on the finances thing. Isn't money one of the primary issues men and women fight about? I think I read that somewhere. So it stands to reason that if you don't want to fight about it, don't talk about it *g*

Tawny said...

Hi Helen :-D

I think we have a book theme happening here today LOL.

And at least our hobbies are (relatively) inexpensive. Every time we add a book to our TBR pile, it generally only costs under $10.

But guy's hobbies? At least for my husband, he collects firearms and cars. Tell ya what, he won't notice the $10 book I buy but I'd definitely notice yet another car parked out front (the firearms, maybe not so much) And his toys cost a LOT more!!!

Tawny said...

Runner10 - I can empathize with your husband :-) Visiting family tends to make me feel ill, too *g*

Tawny said...

PJ, neighbor watching could be an interesting habit *ggg*

I am terrible, but I always make up stories in my mind about my neighbors (and the guy at the grocery store and the woman sitting at the park and..., well, yeah) but I don't think my imagination is nearly as fun as Josie's book!

Tawny said...

P226... Skydiving?




Those straps, though...

Okay, I'm baffled.

Tawny said...

Beth, go write *g*

You're on deadline, girlie.

Tawny said...

LOL Virginia - nice explanation for the new books!!

Tawny said...


Donna, one could almost say fantasies are a girls best friend.

Hey... that could be a book title!!

Nancy said...

Welcome, Josie!

Interesting blog post. I've stopped trying to fathom the guy mind. I just accept that the dh, being a guy, is not as wired for conversational nuance and so doesn't have a very good memory for particulars in a conversation. And he really doesn't care what color the sofa cushions are.

The only things I keep from the dh are some of the discussions about guys with women friends, as they could, maybe, make him uncomfortable. Anything important to us, I disclose.

I don't lie to him, so there isn't anything he hasn't caught onto.

I've never caught him in a lie. He occasionally forgets to tell me things due to juggling too many balls and being too distracted, but never anything important to us.

Josie Brown, said...

Dear Helen,

Those guys and their cells. Malfunction? I THINK NOT! Glad U call him on it (figuratively if not literally...

Dear Runner10,
I love your li'l lies! On an international list, they would CERTAINLY be in the top 10 (price of clothing, visiting family, and "Honey do you like...?"

Dear PJ: Hope you have a GREAT set of binoculars!

Dear P266: I love it that you don't find yourself annoying. So...GUY. Can't wait to see what SHE says. And yes, you are one lucky dude--but she is a lucky gal, because you worship her, and it shows. U rock.

Dear Virginia,

I hope you add my book to your "fib list". You won't regret it...

Dear Beth,
Hi, my sweetheart pal! I miss you, too! And thanks to all the Bandits, for hosting me. It's been a blast to write to real people. (As opposed writing about the ones in my head -- for a FEW minutes, anyway...)

Dear Donna,
What I always say in multi-decade marriages an issue that isn't big isn't worth thinking about. You guyz seem to have that 'tude as well. Here's to 37 more for you.

Dear Nancy,

You're right! It's hard to figure out guys -- much easier to just love 'em, as opposed to fixing 'em.
You've found the key to being happy. I'm following YOUR lead from now on.

Dear Tawny my great pal,
You're right: according to stats, money issues are the biggest issues in marriage -- but oh, how we'd hate to read (or write) a novel on THAT subject!

Love these comments, so keep 'em comin'!

xxx Josie

Margo Candela said...

This is not only funny, but handy if you print it out and laminate it.

Tawny said...

LOL Nancy - Just this weekend, I asked my husband what on earth he could be thinking. The male mind is a mystery. Its a good thing we females are so easy to understand *beg*

Tawny said...

Oh, I don't know Josie... I think that's the basis for a great number of romances. The pursuit of fortune, fighting to keep an inheritance, etc... It makes for fabulous romantic conflict - pre-HEA. I know when I close a book, though, I like to pretend that they are having lots of great sex and eating breakfast in bed all the time, not arguing over the cable bill *g*

Tawny said...

LOL Margo! A laminated list. I like that!

p226 said...

Tawny Said:

P226... Skydiving?




Those straps, though...

Okay, I'm baffled.

Once a Marine, always a Marine.

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

(And when skydiving, do so quickly)

Tawny said...

P226 said: Once a Marine, always a Marine.

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

(And when skydiving, do so quickly)


Now there's a true hero.

A man who always gets the job done.

(no comment on the quickly part)

p226 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
p226 said...

(no comment on the quickly part)

Bahahahahah .... hey... wait....


traveler said...

Hi Josie,
Your post today is definitely intriguing. I will followup with the three answers.
1.A secret that I have kept is something that I feel everyday. Having to endure a vacation with his sister even though he forces this issue I never come out with the truth.
2. I do not divulge how much certain things annoy the heck out of me that he does. I overlook his habits and will never state how I hate his workaholic tendencies.
3. His lie about spending much less time at work than he actually does and his estimate is always way off the mark.

Josie Brown, said...

Dear Margo,
LUV that you're lurking here! BTW, can't wait for your new book, GOOD-BYE TO ALL THAT to hit the shelves next week!

Dear Traveler,
LUV your honesty about the sister-in-law issue! Wow! Whatta book THAT would make....or thread in a book, coz a whole book on that subject would go up in flames on the page...unless there was a murder. At the lake house

Susan Sey said...

Hi, Josie! Your book sounds wonderful, if a bit terrifying. :-) I'm not sure I want to know if my husband's keeping any secrets from me. And I sure won't admit to keeping any from him here on the internet.

Oh, all right, maybe one: I used to get crazy over this one but ten years of marriage has taught me how to handle it. When my husband proposes some outlandish scheme that our bank account and/or vacation time would never support, I've stopped freaking out.

Instead I just say, "Huh. That's interesting. Why don't you check it out?"

And instead of it going like this: Me--that's crazy! Him--Killjoy! Me--Out of touch with reality! Him--Pedestrian & narrow-minded! Now I give him the slack to indulge his dream, research the crap out of it & draw his own conclusions about our bank account & calendar. He almost always arrives at the logical conclusion. He's a smart guy.

And when he says, "YOu know, I looked into XYZ & it's just not going to work," I say, "Oh, honey, that's too bad. It sounded like fun." The outcome is exactly the same, only I'm not the bad guy. IT works waaaaaay better for us & the only secret I have to keep is that I reached the inevitable conclusion before he did.

Does that count?

Kate Carlisle said...

Hi Josie, welcome to the Lair! Your book looks fabulous and I'm going to go read the excerpt as soon as I'm done here...

Yup, I definitely lie about how much I spend on books. How funny to see I'm not alone.

Oh heck, what *don't* I lie about????? Sometimes it's just easier and more humane, really, like when he tells me I don't look fat in these jeans. I appreciate that. :-)

Hey, Lime, have a blast at RomCon!!

Josie Brown, said...

Hi, Susan,
You know, I love that you figured out that he was all talk, and now follow-through, LOL! That's my girl. The sad part for a lot of couples is that it's YEARS for them to figure out how to handle a particular zaniness...or never at all.

Hi, Kate,
I'm lovin' the Lair! Lots of comfy insights and hi-def questions! A great place to hang, for sure! U guyz are a great sorority.

I hope you enjoy what you read of SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES,