I remember the first time I met Josie Brown. A good friend had invited me over to hang out for the day, explaining that Josie would be there and that I JUST HAD TO meet this gal. Josie, she explained, was fun, savvy and smart. As usual, my friend was right. Not only is Josie fun, savvy and smart, she's one helluva writer, too. I'm super jazzed to have her visit with us today and chat about her newest book, SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES.
Six Secrets He Will Always Keep from You
I had a blast writing my latest novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives. Why? Because whereas much as the process of writing is in itself cathartic, with this book I got to delve deeper into all those dirty little secrets we keep from our loved ones—and that they keep from us.
In Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, everyone in Paradise Heights, the neighborhood where my heroine Lyssa lives, tries to keep their true selves under wraps. But when the marriage of the community’s “perfect couple” unravels and infidelity is suspected, everyone else's secrets are exposed, too.
My research into what the men in our lives keep from us was truly enlightening. Here are six of the most common secrets our men keep from us:
1. Sorry to be the one to deliver the news, but YES: he’s hiding something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know: he’s told you he’s never lied to you, that he’ll always be honest. But guess what? There are certain things he can’t admit to you—because he can’t even admit them to himself. It may be his fear about money. Or a fantasy he has, but is ashamed to tell you about. Or maybe it has something to do with an incident at work. Whatever it is, DON'T ASK. Just know that, if and when he's ready, he'll tell.
2. You aren’t the woman he fantasizes about.
She may be the centerfold of a magazine, or that old flame that still burns a little in his gut. Whomever she is, she may be his fantasy, but you’re his reality, so enjoy what you have. Oh, and make him your fantasy. In bed.
3. He really doesn’t listen to you.
But of course, you already know this. That’s why, when ask him why he didn’t do the one thing you asked him to do for you today, he blinks like Bambi in headlights , coughs into his hand, and makes up some lame excuse. It’s a genetic condition: Dumfuckness. The cure: Tell him again—after sex.
4. He’d like to spice up your love life.
Admit it: sometimes you’re bored in bed. Well, he is too. So, why won’t he come clean about this? Because he’s afraid you’ll say “No way!” or Eewwww, yuck!”. Why not surprise him, and tell him what you really want? It may be what he wants, too. Talk about FUN.
5. You annoy him.
Don’t look so shocked. You know it, too. We’re not talking all the time here. We’re talking about that little thing you do—that one (or two, or three) little habits that you’d like to kick too. Maybe it’s the way you click your tongue. Or that you play with your hair. Or the way you giggle. Whatever it is, he puts up with it because he loves you.
And besides, you put up with his crap, too.
6. He's lied to your face.
Did he have a good reason for doing so? Maybe. He may have been doing it so that he doesn’t hurt your feelings (“Does my ass look big in this” “Hum…No, hon, you look just fine.” Or may protecting one of your kids from your kick-ass wrath over something he, too, did as a kid (and got away with).
Now, if you catch him in a lie, do yourself a favor: make the crime fit the punishment.
But just remember this: If he’s lying about the size of your ass, it's his way of saying he loves you, just the way you are.
And for that, he deserves a kiss.
Speaking of secrets and lies, time to 'fess up! (1) What is the one secret you've kept from your guy? (2) What is the one lie of yours that he's never caught onto? (3) What is the one lie you caught him in? Answer any one of these questions here under "comments" and I'll include you in a drawing for a copy of my book! Answer all three, and your triple your chances!
Click here to read an excerpt of Josie’s book, and to read some of the wonderful reviews it’s been getting.
Josie is the author of several novels. Her most recent book, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, [Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press] can be found at Target or your local bookstore. In fact, if you click a picture of the book inside your local Target store and post it here under comments, or email it to Josie at mailto:SecretLivesBook@gmail.com, your name will be included in a drawing for a $25 Target card. Just be sure to include the Target location you found it. Get clicking!