Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Dr. Nightmare

by Cassondra Murray




I have a new hero.

He came into my life only two weeks ago.

Okay...I admit that I've never actually seen him.


But he's stunningly handsome, I just know it. His voice is so deep and resonant. He's very low-maintenance. It does take him a little while to..you know...recharge.

But really..what's a small thing like that in a perfect relationship?


Honestly, we were made for each other!

I'll never forget the moment we first met. He drove up my driveway in a big brown truck.

Well...okay he didn't drive up, exactly......he rode up the driveway.


Oh, all right. The UPS driver carried him to my door. In a small cardboard box.


But that doesn't matter, does it? I mean, it's true that I've known him only a short time, but I've come to depend on him. You don't think that's unhealthy, do you? Too sudden, perhaps?

You see....he's my new Garmin GPS. A friend set me up with....uh...sent him to me.




The thing is, he's not like other GPS units. Honest.


See, friends have tried to set me up like this before. I would have none of that. Those units--they were sterile. Cold. Their perfect voices enunciated every syllable succinctly. Peerfectly. Hoity-toity, that's what they were. My friends never got lost or anything, but still....there was no emotion. No real feeling. I needed more. And then he arrived. And he was like the baby bear's bed in Goldilocks. He was just right.


Well...okay....I did have to work at it a little. We both had to adjust. When he first appeared in his snazzy cardboard box, complete with his little sandbag stabilizer which kept him solid as a rock on my dash even around curves....well...he looked good and all, but---don't say anything, okay?----I'll admit just to our friends here in the lair that he was not quite the fellow he is now.

My friend who set us up....she made sure my Garmin came fully loaded with all the right maps and even a special customized vehicle. Instead of a little car, I have a flying eagle who flaps and soars along the highways while I travel. But voice....voice is so much of a relationship, don't you think? The real work--it was finding the right way to communicate--it was that voice we had to work on. We tried all of the built in voices, male AND female. Hey, I'm a modern girl. No prejudice here. I even tried listening to his directions in Cantonese. Anything to give the relationship a fighting chance.




Then I clicked on the links in the user's manu...uh....relationship self-help book....and found the Garmin Garage. (Did you know you can download all kinds of little vehicles? A canoe? An airplane? A broom? Is that not awesome?)...ahem...I checked out the available voices and that's when I found his true essence.

I found the voice of Dr. Nightmare.


The first time he spoke to me in that rich, rumbling tone-- so strangely reminiscent of Count-Dracula-meets-evil-sorcerer-- and said, "In one quahtah mile you'll be arriving at this dreadful destination," I knew we were perfect for one another.

That's right. Dr. Nightmare is no ordinary GPS unit.

He has personality.

He's not like the others. If you take a turn and they don't approve, they get snotty. They say, in their snide, "I know better than you" voices, "Recalculating".

Not Dr. Nightmare. He's very genteel. If you miss a turn, he says, "Let me consult my magic book." And then he points you in the right direction.

Of course, with Dr. Nightmare, it's not all about work. It's about fun, too! If you're driving for a while and nothing's going on, he's likely to just start talking. Now, some people might call his chatty moments shocking, but I prefer to think of Dr. Nightmare as "refreshing".


On our first trip together we were driving home on a long straight stretch, miles from our next turn (I was listening to Tom Petty on the CD player, so he must have sensed that I was bored) and out of the blue he said, "Other GPS units would die to be a Garmin." He's confident that way.




And then, a few minutes later he said, "Would you mind if we made a stop for some rope and a shovel?" I haven't seen evidence of his handyman skills yet, but obviously he must have some.


And on a bit further down the road, he said, "Did you just feel a chill? I did."




He's so considerate that way. Who knew a small digital box could be so caring?

It was the beginning of a perfect relationship--once I got through the first stages of mistrust. I've been burned by technology, you see. I'm an old fashioned girl, and I love maps. I'm good at directions as a rule, and I've never needed the latest techno-innovations. But a recent date with mapquest had left me cold and abandoned, lost in downtown Atlanta during rush hour.




Dr. Nightmare would never do that.


A day or so after our first date, we were driving along together, him giving directions, me admiring all of his...uhm...features....when he said, "There's something particularly wicked about this place." I got the heck out of there, pronto.

Just two days ago, on a longer trip, he said, "Never mind that noise coming from the trunk." He must have sensed I was nervous. Isn't that just the nicest thing? A little later he said, "You're driving as if your life depended on it! WONDERFUL!!!"

So encouraging.

We went on a long drive yesterday. Five hours to another state. He was with me the whole way. Pulling into Starbucks he said, "How about a side trip to the bone yard?" I think maybe he wanted ribs for lunch.


Then he said, "Let's make a stop by the cemetary." Obviously a whole new aspect of his personality. Into genealogy I suppose. A few minutes on into the drive, he said, "Have you seen my spider? It was crawling around here earlier." How did he know I hate spiders????


About the time I crossed the border into West Virginia, he errupted into a hearty, "Bwwwwuuuuaaaaahahahahahaha!" I never did see what he was laughing at, but what a great sense of humor!

Other GPS units are so boring compared to Dr. Nightmare! And we're growing closer with every trip we take. Just this afternoon he finally confided in me...you know those things about your crazy family or your past--the stuff you're afraid to tell somebody until you get really close? We were just driving along and he piped up, "Congratulations! You've chosen a possessed Garmin!"

So tell me, Bandits and Buddies, do you have a GPS unit?

If yes, what kind do you have?

If not, do you have any friends who have GPS units? Do you want one?

Are you good at reading maps? Do you freak out when you get lost, or do you think of it as an adventure?

What do you think of these newfangled techno-gadgets? If you have one, what voice and what accent does yours have? Male or female? American English, British, Aussie, or other accent? Something different?


Do you give your GPS unit a name? (One of my friends named her Garmin "Jill", but Dr. Nightmare came with his own name.)


And do you prefer the sterile, computer generated voice, or would you like one with more personality--one that would just decide to get chatty at random, like mine?

Oh, and in the words of Dr. Nightmare, "Trick or Treat! Bwuahahahahahaha!"

68 comments:

Daz said...

Woooo!!!!

Daz said...

GPS ... yes, we do have one. It all started with the word "doofus" ... repeated about a gazillion times ... by moi! The boy was driving. He got us lost. I kept informing him that if he had got us a GPS this would never had happened "doofus"! I meant it affectionately, of course, but it did get us the GPS.

Unfortunately, no fancy voices or names for our GPS. We refer to it by it's brand name "Tom Tom". It has a female American voice that tells us to take the 2nd exit on the "rotary" instead of the "roundabout" since we live in Australia, but that's OK, it was the voice we liked best.

I don't use the GPS much but it has come in very handy on long road trips, house hunting in a new neighbourhood (we've done that waaaaay to many times!) and visiting friends' homes.

PinkPeony said...

Hi Cassondra!
I have a Garmin. I've never played with it enough to change the voice. It's a woman's voice that sounds real annoyed when I don't follow her instructions...kind of reminds me of the piano teacher I had way back when.
I've driven in Atlanta before they had GPS. I am good at reading maps, but still had a tough ttime. It was a three day business trip, and I got lost so many times that I put 400 miles on the rental car. Every there is Peachtree this, Peachtree Lane..Peachtree Road...Old Peachtree...

Congrats on the GR, Daz!

Christine Wells said...

LOL, Cassondra! Great post as usual. My ghoulish 4yo would love your Dr. Nightmare! For me, I'd prefer a female British accent like the one we had in a hire car in New Zealand. Something calm, because when I don't know where I'm going I'm usually a bit nervous. The last thing I'd need is someone going BWAHAHAHAA at odd moments!

Kim in Hawaii said...

12 years ago, I flew on board a new military aircraft that had a voice activated system to warn the crew of errors - they called her "Bitching Betty.

6 years ago, we lived in Netherlands. We didn't have a GPS, but some friends did but never used it. It took them through too many farm roads.

Last year, we won a GPS unit at hubby's holiday party. GPS is not necessary in Hawaii, but we took it to the Big Island and Maui. The voice's name is Lisa. She does not say the street names as they are impossible for non-natives to say!

And some trivia - Hawaii has three highways around Honolulu that are part of the Eisenhower Interstate System - yet they do not connect to other states! But to receive federal funds, they have to be called "interstates". They do, in fact, connect the military installations that are federal property.

Helen said...

Well done Daz have fun with him

Cassondra

I love your posts I am still laughing and yes we have a gps and we call it Navman which is its brand name and I think that you can change the voice in it we have the standard kinda english Lady talking to us and she does seem as if she gets a bit upset when we take a wrong turn but she gets over it and then back on track LOL. You see Hubby (or our daughter) puts the address in that we want to go to and it always takes us the long way around to get to the main road so hubby always goes his way until he needs it to kick in with directions so she often sounds a bit frustrated saying things like "do a u turn as soon as possible" and we just laugh

Your one sounds like lots of fun I will have to see if we can change the voice in ours

Have Fun
Helen

hrdwrkdmom aka Dianna said...

I don't go anywhere to need a gps but I can tell I would want one like yours.

Again, I seldom get lost because I don't go anywhere, if by chance I do go somewhere though I do pretty well with maps. When my daughter lived in Charlotte and had the baby I drove straight to the hospital like I knew where it was.

Cassondra said...

Woooohoooo Daz! You got the rooster back!

Dianna Love said...

Congrats on grabbing the GR Daz!

Cassondra - Only you would have found Dr. Nightmare. "grin" I have Jill, the annoying GPS harlot who thinks she knows everything. I need to go back to the GPS dating service and pick a new partner before Jill ends up on the cemetery the next time she cops an attitude. ;)

I had another one once that sounded like she was saying "Make illegal U Turn" (her words ran together when she tried to say "a legal". I swore I'd make the police give HER the ticket if I ever got in trouble.

Hopefully Dr. Nightmare gives better advice. Be safe.

Dianna Love said...

Christine -

We tried the female Brit once but she didn't know all of the roads. However, in all fairness to her, Jill (my current annoying GPS that I argue with on a regular basis) would probably just drive me on the wrong, wrong side of the road in England and laugh when I ended up in a ditch...at which time I would finally use lead therapy on her as I threaten most days. :)

Cassondra said...

Daz said:

Unfortunately, no fancy voices or names for our GPS. We refer to it by it's brand name "Tom Tom". It has a female American voice that tells us to take the 2nd exit on the "rotary" instead of the "roundabout" since we live in Australia, but that's OK, it was the voice we liked best.

I don't use the GPS much but it has come in very handy on long road trips, house hunting in a new neighbourhood (we've done that waaaaay to many times!) and visiting friends' homes.


Daz, when I first read your post, I thought your GPS was calling you a doofus!

You always did seem the practical sort--guilting your boy into getting you a GPS unit. Very resourceful! ;0)

I had checked out Tom Toms before, and I almost went with the Aussie female voice on the Garmin, but once I found Dr. Nightmare there was no going back. And I gotta tell you. The first time the Aussie voice said to do something on the rotary, I would have had to pull over.

I'm just sayin.

Cassondra said...

And yes, to all of you who are wondering....I am up WAAAAAYYYY too darn early. I'm in a bed & breakfast in Charleston, WV and we have to go downstairs and have breakfast, then pack to leave. So this unholy rising was forced upon me.

Oh, and y'all will have to keep the conversation going while I'm on the drive a little later.

No worries though. Dr. Nightmare will get me home safe. *grin*

barb said...

he is back downunder Daz enjoy GR
Hi Cassondra
We have a Navman that we call Sheila (an Aussie girl is called Sheila)and she really gets annoyed when you go the wrong way LOL... I have to put in the information as DH is not too good with technolgical things..... you still need to have an idea where you are going as it can take you a longer way

Cassondra said...

Pink Peony said:

I have a Garmin. I've never played with it enough to change the voice. It's a woman's voice that sounds real annoyed when I don't follow her instructions...kind of reminds me of the piano teacher I had way back when.

Yup. That's the one.

It sounds like....*miffed huffy puff of air, hands on hips* "Re-CALC-ulating, you idiot.*

I never have found being calculating to be a positive trait in a friendship.

I've driven in Atlanta before they had GPS. I am good at reading maps, but still had a tough ttime. It was a three day business trip, and I got lost so many times that I put 400 miles on the rental car. Every there is Peachtree this, Peachtree Lane..Peachtree Road...Old Peachtree...


You ain't just whistlin' Dixie! Every. Other. Street. Is. Named. After. A. Peach.

Cassondra said...

Christine Wells said:

when I don't know where I'm going I'm usually a bit nervous. The last thing I'd need is someone going BWAHAHAHAA at odd moments!

Well, I have to say that lovely British accent was rather aristocratic. Made me feel as though I'd stepped up a notch on the social food chain.

Alas, the ghoulish gift of gab is more my speed.

Hmmm....what does that say about me? :0/

Cassondra said...

Kim in Hawaii said:

The voice's name is Lisa. She does not say the street names as they are impossible for non-natives to say!

Well, Dr. Nightmare is obviously new around here. (I think maybe he's just recently arrived from Transylvania, but don't say anything, okay? He's a little sensitive about his background) Anyhow...he doesn't know the street names either. Not any of them. He only knows...turn left or exit right, etc etc. But that's okay. Nobody's perfect, yaknow?

Oh, and btw, you know the most interesting bits of stuff!

Cassondra said...

Helen said:

ou see Hubby (or our daughter) puts the address in that we want to go to and it always takes us the long way around to get to the main road so hubby always goes his way until he needs it to kick in with directions so she often sounds a bit frustrated saying things like "do a u turn as soon as possible" and we just laugh

Well, you know...I think I might have frustrated Dr. Nightmare a bit on the way over here. I have selected "avoid u-turns" in the choices for the way he responds (isn't that nice? A fellow you can program just right off the bat that way?) but on the way here he did insist several times that I do a u-turn immediately. I didn't of course (there was a concrete median right there and I don't know why he didn't see it. He was just being silly) and soon enough he forgot about our little tiff.

I will have to see if we can change the voice in ours Yes do go to the website and see if they have any fun stuff to download! Oh, and let us know. If you find a new love interest the way I did, I swear I won't tell.

Cassondra said...

a.k.a. Dianna said:

I seldom get lost because I don't go anywhere, if by chance I do go somewhere though I do pretty well with maps. When my daughter lived in Charlotte and had the baby I drove straight to the hospital like I knew where it was.

Oh, cool. Another chick who's good with maps! It sounds like you're doing right well on your own and don't need another guy like Dr. Nightmare in your life! Interesting that you knew your way around Charlotte that way. You want to know something odd? I'm that way about New York City.

Cassondra said...

Dianna Love said:

Cassondra - Only you would have found Dr. Nightmare. "grin" I have Jill, the annoying GPS harlot who thinks she knows everything. I need to go back to the GPS dating service and pick a new partner before Jill ends up on the cemetery the next time she cops an attitude. ;)

Ha! I wasn't going to out you, but it's okay if you out yourself. No way would I tell people your GPS unit is a beyotch. That's just way too personal. Snork.

Cassondra said...

Dianna Love said:

Jill.... would probably just drive me on the wrong, wrong side of the road in England and laugh when I ended up in a ditch...at which time I would finally use lead therapy on her as I threaten most days. :)

Oh....lead therapy! I love that! *evil grin*

MsHellion said...

I don't have one--but I don't travel much beyond my town, so I don't have much need of one. And I'm pretty okay with maps.

However, I'm tempted to get one just so I can have a Dr. Nightmare too. He sounds hilarious. I would love some company in the car.

Trish Milburn (Tricia Mills) said...

Hilarious post, Cassondra. This Dr. Nightmare sounds like a riot.

I don't have a GPS, am still a map girl. But I have a friend who has one that speaks in Darth Vader's voice. We were saying it'd be funny to have Obi-Wan Kenobi's so it could say, "This is not the road you're looking for." :)

Deb said...

My husband has a Garmin (which is the name he calls it by and he seems to think it is a female). Being an OTR driver, it has been great for finding places along with his motorcarriers' atlas.

I think it's funny how Garmin seems to panic when you don't turn in the direction she says.

Minna said...

Hmm. I don't remember which talk show it was (it was either Leno or O'Brien) or who the guest was -some actor, anyway, but he told about a GPS unit that had tried to kill him. He had been driving this mountain road, with a very long drop down on the other side. Suddendy the GPS unit started to tell him he should turn -yep, you guessed it- towards the long drop.


4R - Loving the alien
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im8ymPR98to

The Ramones Pet Sematary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6GzVCYqoyY

Christie Kelley said...

Loved your post, Cassondra!

I'm in real estate so of course I have a GPS. I have the British woman's voice and we call her Eleanor. It came set with the American woman's voice but she sounded way too b#chty.

Janga said...

I don't have a GPS. I've never needed one since my driving is done on familiar roads.

I'm still shuddering at your being lost in Atlanta during rush hour. That's a real nightmare. I've heard all my life that Atlanta streets are just paved cowpaths and that's why there is no logic to them. LOL

Kim in Hawaii said...

Cassondra said, "Oh, and btw, you know the most interesting bits of stuff!"

I learn most of this trivia on bus tours. Hawaii is so very different from the other 49 states!

More trivia - locals call flip-flops "slippers." There was a brew-ha-ha in the newspaper about Chin on Hawaii Five-O using the wrong terminology. His character would know that ... and so should the actor, having lived here for six years while shooting Lost.

And some drivers would be lost without GPS!

Anna Campbell said...

Ha ha, Cassondra! That was hilarious! Please give my love to Dr. Nightmare! He sounds rather sexy, actually!

I'm not great with maps. Actually there's a whole stack of really useful things that I'm absolutely hopeless at. I can't cut a straight line. I have trouble with left and right. I could go on but it would arouse your contempt ;-)


Anyway, my experience of GPS units is fairly limited - and I can't say my acquaintance has made me keen to pursue further familiarity. Most of the ones I've heard here have had a very snippy British voice - when you hear her, you KNOW she saw you blowing your nose on the tablecloth and eating your peas off your knife! Not to mention that one time you drank your tea without raising your pinkie!

Deanna, congrats on the chook!

Pat Cochran said...

Woo Hoo, Cassondra, sounds like a
party brewing in your transporta-
tion unit!

We don't have a GPS as YET, but we
could have used one last evening
as we tried to maneuver our way to the Alley Theater in downtown Houston.We know where the theater is, it was the parking building we were looking for. (Conversation:
Is it on Lousiana or Smith?)(BTW,
the play was very good!)

Back to the GPS, I know someone
who needs to put one on his 2010
Christmas list! Bwahahaha!

Maureen said...

I am now suffering deep Garmin envy.

And will be on line tonight, searching out this new...director.

;-)

Thanks fer pointin' me here, Terrio!

Kate Carlisle said...

Oh my God!!!! How fun is this? Cassondra, I want Dr. Nightmare, too!! I love it.

I've got a GPS on my phone and it's alarmingly accurate. The voice is robotic and female. I suppose I can't blame her for sounding judgmental when I screw up. Still .... I want Dr. Nightmare!!! Maybe there's an app for that...?

Happy Halloween, my dear!

Congrats, Daz! Hope you have a good day with the GR!

Joan said...

OMG, Cassondra..only you could discover someone like Dr. Nightmare.

While I appreciate his humor (Um, wonder about the sudden Uturn into a concrete wall....sounds like something he'd enjoy WATCHING) it would totally freak me out!

Now a sexy, male Irish voice...yummm


I don't have a Garmin and doubt I'd use it....and it's all a control issue....I don't like be told what to do :D

Raising a glass of black strap in your honor!

Barbara Vey said...

My friend's GPS sounds like Darth Vader. Very cool. Enjoy your new toy...friend.

Trish Milburn (Tricia Mills) said...

Kim, I wonder if the powers that be at Hawaii Five-0 knew about the terminology but deliberately changed it so all non-Hawaii natives would understand.

Susan Sey said...

Cassondra, you kill me. I would love to ride shot gun with you & Dr. Nightmare some time. I want to know what the rope & shovel are for. :-)

As for me, I do the driving & let my husband surf the internet. If I don't, he'll just drive with one hand & consult his iPhone with the other, so it's better this way. When it's just me in the car, I do things the old fashioned way. I pull over, consult a map (paper or e), my mental compass, & figure my way through it.

I've always made it there eventually. :-)

Cassondra said...

I'm so sorry everybody. The trip home took longer than I anticipated. I just walked in the door. I'm not ignoring y'all. I promise!

Cassondra said...

barb said:

I have to put in the information as DH is not too good with technolgical things..... you still need to have an idea where you are going as it can take you a longer way

Yes, it can! Or....it keeps trying to take me on this little cutoff road to my house. The road does cut off a corner, but its' grown up with weeds. The pavement is almost gone. It doesn't know that of course, and I always ignore the instructions to turn there, but Dr, Nightmare keeps trying to take me that direction. I suspect they have software out there somewhere which can "learn" ways you don't like to go, but Dr. Nightmare seems to be rather set in his ways about that.

Ah well...all relationships have problems. ;0)

Cassondra said...

Hellion said:

However, I'm tempted to get one just so I can have a Dr. Nightmare too. He sounds hilarious. I would love some company in the car.

He actually is a lot of company! On the five hour drive to West Virginia and the five hour drive back, once we were out on the open road where he didn't have to give a lot of directions, he said something about every 7 or 8 minutes. Often enough to keep you awake if you were tired. And I definitely was tired on the way back. I can see this being useful in that way.

Cassondra said...

Trish Milburn said:

But I have a friend who has one that speaks in Darth Vader's voice. We were saying it'd be funny to have Obi-Wan Kenobi's so it could say, "This is not the road you're looking for." :)

Oh, I would LOVE to hear that voice! And yes, you'd think eventually they would come up with one which switches out voices for a cast of characters, wouldn't you? And Obi-Wan's voice would be perfect. Or Yoda. I think Yoda, with his strange sentence constructions, would be fun too!

Cassondra said...

Deb said:

I think it's funny how Garmin seems to panic when you don't turn in the direction she says.

YES! Today I drove over a bridge and Dr. Nighmare sort of lost his mind. He thought I was out in the water and my eagle was sort of flapping around and spinning in circles. He had to keep checking his magic book. I think that bridge is new. ;0)

Suzanne Ferrell said...

Okay, Cassondra, your GPS and Dr. Nightmare are a little too freaky for me!! Bwahhahhha!! indeed!

No GPS for me, I do well with maps, rarely get lost and do well with verbal directions. Of course the kids as my copilots had to learn my shorthand for --->R --->L and N, S, E, W. But learn they did!

I rarely get lost, a trait I learned early on after a particularly grueling trip with my mama to a slumberparty.

Cassondra said...

Minna said:

. Suddendy the GPS unit started to tell him he should turn -yep, you guessed it- towards the long drop.

Oh....I better not make Dr. Nightmare mad at me.

I never thought about that. :0(

Cassondra said...

Christy Kelley said:

I have the British woman's voice and we call her Eleanor. It came set with the American woman's voice but she sounded way too b#chty.

The American woman's does not sound as if she cares in the least about my well being. Perhaps she needs customer service training...

Cassondra said...

Christie, I'm sorry I spelled your name wrong. Steve said something (I think he may be jealous of Dr. Nightmare) and I got distracted. I do know better, I promise!

Cassondra said...

Janga said:

I've heard all my life that Atlanta streets are just paved cowpaths and that's why there is no logic to them. LOL

Well...I've never seen cows walk quite as straight as the regular parts of the grid, but that explanation probably has merit. Honestly though, they're just so obsessed with the whole "peach" thing. There ARE other fruits, yaknow?

Cassondra said...

Kim in Hawaii said:

And some drivers would be lost without GPS!

Oh, I think some drivers are STILL lost, even with GPS! ;0)

Cassondra said...

Anna Campbell said:

Most of the ones I've heard here have had a very snippy British voice - when you hear her, you KNOW she saw you blowing your nose on the tablecloth and eating your peas off your knife! Not to mention that one time you drank your tea without raising your pinkie!

Precisely! The other voices just sounded as though they're rather disgusted with me. That gets old rather quickly. I've heard Dianna Love actually threaten to stuff Jill into the glove compartment a time or two. Traffic was heavy and it was NOT pretty. I thought there might be a standoff. I was putting my money on Dianna, but still....it was close there for a while.

Cassondra said...

Pat Cochran said:

we could have used one last evening as we tried to maneuver our way to the Alley Theater in downtown Houston.We know where the theater is, it was the parking building we were looking for. (Conversation:
Is it on Lousiana or Smith?)(BTW,
the play was very good!)

Back to the GPS, I know someone
who needs to put one on his 2010
Christmas list! Bwahahaha!


Yes, I am all about the GPS unit now. I dunno if Dr. Nightmare will be available after Halloween or not. I started wondering, on the way home, if maybe he was only doing a limited number of....well... appearances, just for the season.

And hooray that the play was good! Which one did you see?

Cassondra said...

Hi Maureen!

Welcome, and thanks for stopping by! Yes, you should definitely check out Dr. Nightmare. They also have other seasonal voices you can download. I am tempted to try out the Yeti. He seemed a little difficult to understand though.

Cassondra said...

Kate said:

I've got a GPS on my phone and it's alarmingly accurate. The voice is robotic and female. I suppose I can't blame her for sounding judgmental when I screw up. Still .... I want Dr. Nightmare!!! Maybe there's an app for that...?

Yes, those phone GPS apps are just amazing! I don't have an internet phone yet. mainly because I don't want to pay for internet service on my phone. Heck, I don't even text (it's my last techno-holdout). I dunno if you can get Dr. Nightmare for the phone or not, but I bet they have different voices. The download might take up a lot of space though. I dunno. I'm learning to use the tech, but that doesn't mean I actually understand it! :0/

Cassondra said...

Joanie said:

I don't have a Garmin and doubt I'd use it....and it's all a control issue....I don't like be told what to do :D

Well, I actually have that issue too. It's probably why I can't abide the snippy beyotch females on the program. Dr. Nightmare is just so...well...I wouldn't call him warm and fuzzy, exactly....hmmm.

And I suppose I should watch out for concrete walls. I never thought about that.

Cassondra said...

Barbara Vey said:

My friend's GPS sounds like Darth Vader. Very cool. Enjoy your new toy...friend.

Hi Barbara!!! *waves madly* Great to see you here. And yes...toyfriend....Bwuahaha---uh...ahem...maybe he's rubbing off on me.

Cassondra said...

Susan Sey said:

I do things the old fashioned way. I pull over, consult a map (paper or e), my mental compass, & figure my way through it.

I've always made it there eventually. :-)


Me too! I started driving cross-country the day after I turned 16, and I had to become self-reliant. And you know...I have this secret fear that because of Dr. Nightmare, I will become dependent. I have this fear that I'll lose my own navigation skill. You know how we get...if we don't use it we lose it...

Cassondra said...

Suzanne Ferrell said:

No GPS for me, I do well with maps, rarely get lost and do well with verbal directions. Of course the kids as my copilots had to learn my shorthand for --->R --->L and N, S, E, W. But learn they did!

I rarely get lost, a trait I learned early on after a particularly grueling trip with my mama to a slumberparty.


I've never gotten lost a lot--unless it was on purpose. And I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but...I have made it a policy when I'm going to be working or spending time in a new town, to take an afternoon, a map, and just go to the town and "get lost" Then having to find my way out, and use the map and look at the streets in real life, taught me my way around the town. It's a great way to learn a new place.

I've always been really good at navigation--even in NYC--the first time I went there, it was like I'd lived there before. I could just find stuff. I give and follow directions well, and all these years I've never felt the need for a gps until recently.

But with less time to spend finding maps, more traveling, and fewer avenues to get good directions, and with always seeming to be on some kind of deadline, I've given in.

We'll see how the relationship goes.

Cassondra said...

Oh, and Suz, I think we need to hear this slumber party story....

Karyn Gerrard said...

LOL!!!! This was great Cassondra, yes, we have a GPS, Garmin, it got us through Canada and the U.S. this past 2 summers. We have the voice set on female/British, being from Canada, we think in Kilometers, not miles.
She likes to say 'recalculating' a lot! LOL! And they are not always right! Just be sure you set the thing for the 'quickest' route and not 'scenic'.
Love it when they pronounce streets wrong as well, good for a chuckle.

Louisa Cornell said...

Way to go, Daz !!

ROFLMAO Cassondra! Too funny and I LOVE Dr. Nightmare! I don't have a GPS, but I assure you when I do get one I will HAVE to download Dr. Nightmare!

We used one on the trip to DC for RWA the year before last and the three of us had a ball laughing at how ticked off he got when we got off the interstate to eat or shop. I swear the longer we drove the more frustrated he got with us!

I am HORRIBLE with maps. I do pretty well with Google instructions to get places. My brothers say I have a negative sense of direction. I say I just prefer the roads less traveled.

Cassondra said...

Karyn said:

And they are not always right! Just be sure you set the thing for the 'quickest' route and not 'scenic'.
Love it when they pronounce streets wrong as well, good for a chuckle.


I do have it set on quickest route, and I've already found out--they are NOT always right! I used it driving around everywhere I went--to take me to run errands and such--for the past two weeks, before I took it on my first trip. It would have gotten me VERY lost going to Sam's if I'd actually done what it said. I can't figure out why sometimes it gets stuff wrong.

That's not so reassuring really. I will still feel the need to have an atlas with me in the car. :0/

Dr. Nighmare and I--we do have some trust issues...

Cassondra said...

Louisa said:

I am HORRIBLE with maps. I do pretty well with Google instructions to get places. My brothers say I have a negative sense of direction. I say I just prefer the roads less traveled.



Well..not all who wander are lost. :0)

Pat Cochran said...

Well, Cassondra,

The comment I posted earlier has
not appeared & it was a nice note,
too! Briefly, the play we saw was
J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan or The Boy
Who Would Not Grow Up. This new, darker version is by John Caird &
Trevor Nunn and is directed by the
Alley's Artistic Director Gregory
Boyd. I think I saw in the playbill
that this play will be opening on
Broadway at some point. If so, I'd
love to be there!

Daz said...

Cassondra, we get the whole "what's a rotary?" and "what does it want you to do to the rotary?" thing all the time from friends who are riding in the car with us for the first time. Fun!

Cassondra said...

Pat Cochran said:

The comment I posted earlier has
not appeared & it was a nice note,
too! Briefly, the play we saw was
J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan or The Boy
Who Would Not Grow Up. This new, darker version is by John Caird &
Trevor Nunn and is directed by the
Alley's Artistic Director Gregory
Boyd. I think I saw in the playbill
that this play will be opening on
Broadway at some point. If so, I'd
love to be there!


Ohhh...I'd love to see that! I have not seen a play on Broadway yet. Seen a couple of fabulous plays in London, but nothing in The City.
And Blogger has been particularly frustrating of late. I've been looking very squinty eyed at it lately. I apologize that your note got lost. Dang it. It's always the good one.

Last night I had written this blog post and was trying to copy and paste it into a word document...you know...just in case. Well, I highlighted it and POOF. Gone. Irretrievable. After a few minutes of stunned staring at the screen, I typed the whole thing again. It was completely different of course. :0/

Cassondra said...

Daz said:

Cassondra, we get the whole "what's a rotary?" and "what does it want you to do to the rotary?" thing all the time from friends who are riding in the car with us for the first time. Fun!

Well, here we have the Rotary Club, which is a club as in a group of people organized for a purpose, and not anything one would want to drive upon....and lots of other "rotary" type things....but I've never heard a roundabout called a rotary. As a matter of fact there are so few roundabouts...well...roundabout these parts, that the word doesn't come up very often really. There are a few...but not many.

Nancy said...

Daz, congrats on the bird!

Cassondra, what a fun blog!

We don't have a GPS. The dh is a Luddite and proud of it. There is no chance whatsoever that we will have one of these anytime soon. If we did, I would like one with personality, a la Dr. Nightmare. But I suspect anything mechanical talking to him in the car would freak him out. Those cars that remind you to buckle up or check doors bother him.

I really like maps. I don't remember being taught to read maps, though I suspect my parents must have done so, but I'm pretty good with them. I like knowing what the three roads before the one I want are. This alerts me to upcoming lane changes, etc.

Mapquest does not give me this information. Worse from my perspective, it puts things in tenths of a mile. I realize this is necessary to get me to my destination, but my odometer doesn't do tenths of a mile. Neither does the dh's. Tenths of a mile are thus not helpful.

Besides, if you get stuck in a detour because of a wreck or road construction, you're toast if all you have the the Point A to Point B list of turns.

Though I'm sure Dr. Nightmare could consult his magic book and fix all that. :-)

Nancy said...

PinkPeony, driving in Atlanta can be an adventure. I've learned how to get to the DragonCon hotels, how to get to the GRW meetings, etc., but going anyplace different requires maps and muttering.

Yes, there are, indeed, many street names involving peach trees.

Cassondra said...

Nancy said:

..if you get stuck in a detour because of a wreck or road construction, you're toast if all you have the the Point A to Point B list of turns.

Though I'm sure Dr. Nightmare could consult his magic book and fix all that. :-)


Yes. Yes, he does. Actually there's a "detour" button on the gps unit. All you have to do is push it, and Dr. Nightmare will consult his magic book and find another way around. *grin*

Cassondra said...

Re: Atlanta, Nancy said:

Yes, there are, indeed, many street names involving peach trees.

Who on Earth thought this was a good idea?

Cassondra said...

Okay all...I'm whipped from the drive. Even Dr. Nightmare doesn't seem to be able to give me back the energy of my youth.

So I'm going to bed. Thanks for talking to me about your GPS experiences!

See y'all tomorrow in the lair!