Saturday, September 6, 2008
Sins of the Flesh (Crime and Punishment)
By Kirsten Scott
So the other day, I was in the bathroom at work and two of my worst faults collided: my impatience and my vanity. My vanity, because I was anxiously checking out my rear-end in the mirror, and my impatience, because I was walking even as I was staring at myself. Now, obviously, it's hard to stare at one's butt and look ahead at the same time, so I made the only rational choice: I kept looking at my butt.
Which meant I walked right into the door, when someone entered the bathroom from the other side.
How's that for embarrassing? There was really no excuse for me not to be watching where I was going other than the fact that I was staring at the reflection of my rear in the mirror. No excuse at all. Red-faced and slightly dizzy from my impact with the door, I wandered back to my office and thought about my sins, and times I've received instant karma -- metaphoric payback on a very concrete level for my wickedness.
Vanity and Impatience. These two get me in trouble all the time. The bathroom door at work was only the beginning. I've also walked into my share of lamp posts, from checking myself out in store windows, and made stupid errors in cover letters and submissions because I was too impatient to look at them ONE LAST TIME.
And then there's gluttony. Just a couple of weeks ago, I ate an enormous bag of cherries for dinner all by myself. In my defense, the kids and husband were away, and I was plugging away at the WIP, and what else are you going to do while you write but eat? At least I was eating fruit and not Tim Tams. Anyway, my punishment for that sin? Well, I don't want to go too deeply into the particulars, but let's just say I'm glad I didn't have to share the bathroom that night.
As for lust? I got that one covered too. My punishment there really isn't much of a punishment at all, because his name is Leo, and he's my first born, and I love him to pieces. :-)
Sloth? I don't think I'm particularly slothful (it doesn't fit well with the impatience) but occasionally I do like to laze around on a massage table. I also like to sleep a lot, and I know as a teenager, I was always going to bed before everyone else and then wondering about all the things I'd missed. No instant karma there, but some "what if..." sort of moments.
As for greed, I did get into a bidding war with someone on Ebay just a few days ago for a Hanna Andersson dress for my daughter. I don't know if it was pride or greed, but I refused to stop bidding until I'd won, and spent way more than I should have on a used cotton dress. Deep sigh.
I've managed to steer pretty clear of wrath and envy. Wrath, because I'm just not a person who carries around a lot of anger, and envy, because I'm awfully happy with my life, so it's hard to envy anyone else's.
What about you? Any sins to confess? Ever experienced instant karma? Is anyone out there as vain as me? Please tell all! Make me feel better!
Posted by Kirsten at 12:25 AM