by Anna Campbell
Scene: The Bandit War Cabinet Room which is even further underground than the Writers Deadline Cave which featured in all its fiendish glory in Christine's launch at the beginning of the month.
We interrupt this bulletin to bring you an important message!
PLAGIARISM GURU: This is looking suspiciously like Christine's launch!
SHEEPISH AUTHOR (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ROOSTERISH BANDITA): Um...
PG: Is that all you've got to say for yourself?
SA: Well, not really! I've got a whole launch post ahead of me. It would be a bit sad if I stopped now, wouldn't it?
PG: Don't play clever with me, Bandita!
SA: No, sir! I'd just like to point out that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
PG: Tell that to Madam!
SA: I will! OOH, CHRISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!
We interrupt this message to return to our original message.
So where was I?
That's right the Bandit War Cabinet Room where all the REALLY fiendish plans are hatched.
Oh, no, now the rooster is keen on coming down. He thinks a hatchery means some hot chicks.
Anyway, as you can see, it's party central down here. Just look at this embarrassing photo of the hijinks on our New Year's Eve party in 1943! And we can promise you more of the same tonight, oh, yessirreeeee! Batten down those hatches! Iron those hankies! Match those socks!
Speaking of embarrassing! There's been a major hitch in our planning for today's launch of the new Anna Campbell opus MY RECKLESS SURRENDER!
Oy, oy, oy! And assorted other Bandita cries of despair! Including the famous Ai Caramba! And "Demetrius, what are you doing with that sword?"
It turns out the top secret documents, essential for today's mayhem, have been diverted to Africa. We need to get them OUT OF AFRICA!!! Snort. Feel the urge to break into a Danish pastry!
What are we to do? What are we to do?
We interrupt this broadcast purely to interrupt this broadcast...
Oh, get lost! No time for jokes when our launch is going haywire!
Anna Campbell runs around like a chook with her head cut off.
Oh, no, the rooster just keeled over in shock!
Not you, GR! Just a generic chook!
A GENERIC CHOOK, I SAID!
Lordy, why is everyone I work with a drama parrot?
Anyway, the Bandita War Cabinet has issued this press release:
In the absence of detailed plans for today's launch, we turn in desperation to you, Banditas and Bandita Buddies! Give us three reckless things to do in the lair today to celebrate the release of MY RECKLESS SURRENDER!
The best suggestions will win one of THREE signed copies of MY RECKLESS SURRENDER! Unless the books have gone to Africa too.
What's that? They have!!!!
But I have it on good authority that the books are walking like an Egyptian and they at least will be here for distribution before the end of the night!
STOP PRESS: A shipment of naked Regency rakes has been captured off the shores of Tripoli by roving renegade Banditas. And they will soon be here to assist in any nefarious plans!
So come on, people, give us some nefarious plans! Otherwise we'll have to put the rakes in the shed!