HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! It's a day for Wacky Sappy Love Poems, and a visit from the HEART!

by Jeanne Adams

Hi everyone! Happy Valentine's DAY!!!!! Today, we're going to have a TON of fun, and learn some things too.

Oh, and did I mention prizes and prezzies? Grins.

We'll have those too. Make sure you get your pencil sharpened and your mind in gear, because it's WACKY SAPPY LOVE POEM DAY! (there are some terms and conditions for winning, so you have to wait for the next bit to see how to play....)

As most of you know, it's alllll about the HEART around the Lair. Broken hearts are mended, singed ones (watch out for Ermingarde!) are healed, and there's always a happily-ever-after in our favorite romance novels and in the Lair.

That's what happens when you're a Romance Bandit or Bandit Buddy! Grins.

But in "real life" hearts are not always hurt by love, bad boys, rakes, dangerous dames or rambling roues.

Sometimes, it's genetics. Or maybe in some cases, it's our lifestyles that do damage to our hearts.

Here to talk to us today about HEARTS and heart health is Dr. RoseMarie Robertson, Chief Science Officer for the American Heart Association!

WELCOME, Dr. Robertson! (Dr. Robertson will be joining us LIVE at 11 a.m. ET, USA, to answer YOUR questions!)

I first heard Dr. Robertson speak at RWA National last year. And her advice and information about women and heart health bowled me over. There were so MANY things I didn't know about heart disease.

For instance, did you know, heart disease - NOT breast cancer! - is the NUMBER ONE killer for women, at any age? Oh. My. Goodness! I certainly didn't know that! And did you know that women's symptoms are totally different than men's?

None of that sterotypical chest-clutching for the ladies, thank you very much. It's more about dragging fatigue and upper abdominal indigestion.

Subtle, just like most of us ladies prefer - but dangerously subtle in this case, right, Dr. R?

Dr. R - That's right, Jeanne. Most heart attacks are NOT what you see in the movies! They're usually not so painful that you fall to your knees, clutching your chest. They're quite often "pain you feel you could put up with" - especially if, like many women, you've had other episodes of pain that eventually went away and didn't do you harm - like severe cramps or even childbirth.

But both men and women most often have typical sypmtoms. Those include: discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness, tightness or pain. It can also involve one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or abdomen. Shortness of breath is also a symptom, with or without chest discomfort. Other signs - some of them the subtle things you referenced - are breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea, or lightheadedness.

As many as 1 in 4 heart attacks may occur withouth ANY pain, especially in patients with diabetes or older people. Since women, on average, have their heart attacks at an older age, as I mentioned, the're more likely to have one of these "painless" heart attacks, with just unexplained shortness of breath, nausea, lightheadedness or a cold sweat. Or even just unusual and sudden fatigue.

But these can happen in younger individuals too, so don't ignore these symptoms!!! The big difference is that the symptoms of a heart attack tell you that you're losing heart muscle every minute they go on. They mean "CALL 911! NOW!!"

Dr. Robertson, isn't it true that women are more likely to die from their first heart attack? Why is that?

Dr. R - Over the past decade we've done better in preventing or delaying heart attacks, and both women and men who have them have a much better chance of surviving, especially if they get to the hospital early so we can stop it in its tracks. However, if you look at all the deaths that occur over the year after a first heart attack, it's true that women are at higher risk. About 26% of women will die, as compared to 19% of men. That's at least in part due to the fact that women are older on average when they have their first heart attack, by somewhere around 6-10 years. The risk is always greater when you're older.

Eating a great diet and keeping the chocolate, wine and rich foods in moderation are all heart-smart things to do, but what are some good heart-healthy foods TO eat?

Dr. R - A heart-healthy diet is full of delicious foods! I start my day with strawberries, raspberries adn blueberries, or sometimes a banana on my whole grain Cheerios or eat that fruit alongside some whole-wheat toast or a whole-grain bagel. Some smoked salmon on that bagel is delicious and gets me half a serving of omega-3-rich fish too! If I want something warm on one of these wintry days, I'll substitute oatmeal for the Cheerios or I'll toss some egg whites or egg substitute in a pan with some low-fat shredded cheese (with just a pinch of double Gloucester or parmesan on top for some intense flavor!) and some mushrooms and spinach or other green veggies, grated or in small pieces. If I put it under the broiler, it's a frittata, if I fold it up, it's an omelet! Since it's hard to predict meals when I travel, I always take a plastic baggie or two of cereal, usually with some dried fruit, so I can have a healthy snack and NOT be tempted by the mini-bar! And that's just for breakfast!

Of course you should get your veggies too - that spinach I mentioned - or dark greens like kale or broccoli, or even lovely red beets. You can go to http://www.heart.org/ and search Nutrition for more tips!

YUM!!! All foods I love...well, maybe not the beets, but hey, that's just one that I won't eat. The rest? Yum. Gotta say I love the chocolate and wine, of course, though I prefer white. Grins.

(For those who love lists, WebMD has a list of the Top 25 Heart Healthy foods here: http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/25-top-heart-healthy-foods )

They say laughter is the best medicine, and we do love to laugh around here. Which is why, of course, we’ve got Wacky Sappy Love Poem Day going for Valentines, and we want Dr. Robertson to be the judge for us.

Dr. Robertson, feel free to jump in and comment on the mayhem when you sign in!

Besides keeping a great sense of humor (and visiting the Romance Bandit’s Lair) what are some of the most important lifestyle changes that people should consider to be heart healthy? I’m sure stopping smoking is one…

Dr. R - Absolutely! Stopping smoking is the top of the list, since it's a huge risk factor. That's especially true if you use birth control pills - the combination raises your risk 35 times normal! Quitting can make an equally dramatic change for the better.

One simple thing to do, especially now that spring is finally on the way, is to get moving. Walk for 15 minutes a day, then move it up to 30 minutes. Make healthy food choices - a diet rich in fruits, veg, whole-grains, two servings of fish a week, cut back (or cut out) high-fat, high cholesterol foods, get lean protein with sodium no more than 1500 mg a day if you can. Portion control is key! You can check on how you're doing, and get great hints from the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women program at http://www.goredforwomen.org/

Thanks for these top-tips, Dr. Robertson! We’re so happy to have you with us today. Are there other things you’d like to have our (mostly) female audience know? What about our guys?

Dr. R - Our guys are very important to us! And we've got some help for them as well. In fact, the AHA's MyLifeCheck is a great tool for both men and women. Try it out at http://MyLifeCheck.heart.org/ and see what you can easily change to improve your odds of living a strong and healty life, free of cariovascular diseases and stroke!

(Remember, Dr. Robertson will be with us LIVE at 11 am, so post your questions along with your poems...)

And now...Da RULZ for Wacky Sappy Love Poem Day! Give us a poem, haiku, cantrip, rhyme or verse using the following:

It has to have: Heart, Love, Healthy

And one or more of the following: Go Red, Red Dress, vegetables, fruits, (or named fruits or vegetablesm i.e. strawberries)

SO, the other thing is....GO RED!!!

At the end of the day, Dr. Robertson will pick FIVE winners!

Oh, you want to know about the PRESENTS?

That would be a GO RED Backpack filled with GO RED and Romance Bandit goodies, for one poster, AND cool magnets, heart-healthy cook books, and other prizes for the other four.

So rock on you Valentine's Poets, rock on!

Valentines Fun

by Tawny

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Here we are, once again, at that fabled day of love and romance. Once a year, even though we probably don't recall why, we honor February 14th with red hearts, glittery cards, flowers and chocolates. Oh, there are the less common celebratory gifts; diamonds, sexy lingerie, semi-automatic weapons (yeah, seriously, one year my husband asked for one of these representations of pure romance to celebrate the day. I said no.)

So now, let the Valentine's accolades begin...

Wait!! What's that I hear? (picture me with my hand cupped around my ear, looking inquisitive). Is that a groan? A Valentine's groan?

Why???

Its the holiday of looo-ooove (say it with me now, looo-ooove, really rolling those 'o's' up and down like a teasing lil kid). We're trained young for this holiday, aren't we? I remember back in early gradeschool, taking a simple paper bag, adding colorful cutout hearts and pretty glitter and then :::ta da::: I had a magic bag.

Yes, magic. Because in that bag, I was assured, I would collect lots and lots of love come Valentine's Day!! To my seven-year-old heart, that meant chocolate, of course. (Come to think of it, to my older-than-seven-year-old heart, it means chocolate, too) I remember spending hours, painful hours since my handwriting was atrocious, signing those little paper valentines with cutesy animals saying clever things. Matching up just the right animal to just the right classmate. Agonizing over the perfect candy hearts (chocolate or conversation - oh the choices!). And then... dum da dum... the big day arrived. Thanks to the teacher's rule of 'participation means everyone', all the kids had valentines for all the other kids. So my paper bag was filled. With magic?

Well, in my lil' mind, magic meant my name was spelled right. And the chocolate? Magic chocolate melts in your mouth, but mine was kinda on the ick side. And that maybe, just maybe, my magic bag would have a loving little Valentine in it saying those special words: "Love, your Secret Admirer". Or, you know, anything romantic and sweet. But did it? Nope, never.

My magic Valentine's hopes were dashed.

Sigh... yeah, now I think I understand those groans I heard.

Valentine's expectations, be they good or bad, carry a lot of weight. Magic, love, good chocolate. That's a lot to ask of a day and one lil arrow-toting dude in a diaper.

And those amazingly talented guys in advertising only add to the weight of the day, drawing on all of the romantic hot buttons to sell their merchandise and get us thinking.

And yet, here I am, on still another Valentine's Day, wishing you all the magic of love. And because I'm a big believer in love and laughter going together like chocolate and caramel (mmmmm), how about some fun?

How about we spend the day celebrating by coming up with the cheesiest Valentine's greeting possible? Poetry isn't my strong suit, but I'll try and kick us off:

Roses are red

The stars shine from above

I want Johnny Depp

To be my hunka hunka burnin' love!

There... now that's really REALLY bad, right? My Valentine's challenge to you? Top my lack of talent with YOUR cheesy Valentine greeting.

And at the end of the day, I'll draw one name to win a valentine from me -a copy of any of my books and a box of truffles. The good, melt in your mouth kind. Not the ick kind!!

Thanks for having Cheesy Valentines Poetry fun with us...

Wow. We had such clever and creative poems to celebrate Valentine's Day. The Bandits, one and all, thank you for joining us in the festivities and playing along in our cheesy game.

And the winners are - Dum da dum da dummmmm....

Janga: Signed copy of Risqué Business, Sees Chocolates - Tawny
Signed copy of The Wild Sight - Auntie Cindy

Nicki: Signed copy of Tempt the Devil - Foanna
Signed copy of Dark & Dangerous, Cover flat of Dark & Deadly - Jeanne

Barb: Signed copy of Firefighter in the Family - Trish
Signed copy of The Trouble with Moonlight – Donna

Pink Peony: $10 Borders gift card – Joan
Cool Bandits Goodies - Anna S.

Lisa: Godiva Chocolates - Suz

Treethyme: Signed copy of The Dangerous Duke - Christine

P226: Signed copy of Homicide in Hardcover, See's suckers
Bookmark - Kate

Pamela: Signed copy of Not Without Her Family - Beth

Cheryl (cas2ajs): Signed copy of her most recent book - Christie

Carol: Romance Bandits Fridge magnet and post-its – Jo

Sarabelle: $5 Barnes & Noble gift card – Cassandra

If the winners could drop me an email at Tawny@TawnyWeber.com with Bandits in the subject line, and give me their mailing info, we'll get your prizes right out to you.

Congratulations!!! And thank you to everyone who entered -what a fabulously fun day it was.

Hope Floats or Love by the Lockers

by Joan Kayse

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. There will be flowers and candy and little stuffed animals with goofy expressions distributed to thousands of special someone’s. Some might even send a singing telegram or pay someone to print their exclamations of love in the paper. How much you want to bet that there will be a high percentage of proposals wrapped in the red and white tissue paper of Cupid himself. All in the name of love.

But I’m not going to talk about that.

Well, actually I am but from a different perspective. I’m talking about unrequited love. You know, the type that is one sided, that goes unrecognized, that leaves an ache wrapped in hope deep in your heart. The most hopeful love of all.

It is hopeful, it really is. Occasionally, in an unrealistic way if you were to sit back away from the longing and analyze it. But I think the hope imbued in this type of love is the purest type imaginable.

What got me to thinking about this was a memory of Valentine’s Day from my childhood. Ok, sure in elementary school everybody got a Valentine. But there was always that one special boy that you would save the BEST Valentine out of the box for and take extra care to print his name just right. And when you received his in your red heart decorated paper bag you just KNEW he had taken the same care with yours…even if he gave the exact one to all the other girls.

Then high school came and with it lockers; the perfect spot for a “secret admirer” to slip a Valentine. For six periods your heart would beat just a bit faster, you’d chew on your lower lip as you punched in the combination. Your eyes would search for a pink envelope or the sparkle of glitter. When it wasn’t there you’d assure yourself that there was always next period.

At the end of the day after you had admired your friends cards and stuffed animals you gained comfort with the hope that there would always be next year.

Fast forward to adulthood and the hope takes on a different flavor. You hope to find “the one”, the man who will build a family with you, take out the garbage and kill the spidersJ. You meet some promising fellows; fall for their easy smiles, their wit, and their blue penetrating eyes. You practice being demure and flirt in an entirely sophisticated manner, of course ( and bake tons of cookies. That adage abou the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? Not entirely convinced of that).You spend time with him and hope that he will look at you with the same conviction and promise that you are willing him to recognize in you.
Now as a grown up, you go to your mailbox on Valentine’s Day. You hold your breath when the flower delivery guy arrives at work with a dozen red roses. You hold your breath as he squints at the card and paste a smile on your face when he asks for Susan. You ooh and ahh at your friends engagement rings and their little stuffed animals. You clock out at the end of the day and you….hope.

Unrequited love is hard but the hope inherent in the “happily ever after” dulls the pain and helps you keep going, helps you believe that “the one” is still out there….just around the corner….waiting by the locker.

Have you ever suffered from unrequited love? What was it that attracted you to him (her)? What is the goofiest Valentine’s present you ever got?

The Hamster picture doesn't mean anything really, unless? Unless he's hoping the flowers will make an impression on his own true love :-)

Pay Attention

by Cassondra Murray

I’m about to tell you a secret.

It’s the secret, I think, to why we fall in love with heroes, both fictional and real. I think it’s the secret to romance.

We’re approaching Valentine’s Day, and to illustrate the secret, I’m going to tell you about one of my best romantic gifts ever. It was from my husband, a few years after we were married. Now let me preface it by saying he’d made his share of blunders in previous years. There was the anniversary when he gave me a rug.

Yes, a rug.

Poor fellow. He’s learned a lot since then.

But this best year ever, he left me a note that asked if I would pick up something for him at an office downtown at 11:00 in the morning. I went. The receptionist handed me a wrapped box with my name on it.


Inside was a set of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret and a note that told me to go to a florist around the corner. The florist gave me a bouquet of gorgeous wildflowers and a note that told me to go to my chiropractor’s office. The chiropractor’s receptionist gave me another box with another gift and another note. That one sent me next door to the massage therapist for an hour-long massage.

V-day. The day that men dread. The one day of the year specifically dedicated to that thing most men find completely baffling—romance.

But if you think about it, romance, in all of its forms, boils down to one thing. When we’re dating and falling in love, this one thing comes naturally. Men do it with great focus, and to that focus, if there’s any chemistry at all, women respond with intense passion. It’s irresistible, you see, this one thing that is ultimately romantic.

I’ve already told you what it is.

The one thing guaranteed to bring about romance is….paying attention.

Once we’re in a committed relationship we tend to forget that. We begin, perhaps, to take one another for granted a bit. Or maybe we get too busy. Life gets in the way. Maybe we get lazy.

This next week, roses will go for three times the normal price because demand is so high. But honestly, is it really ROSES we want? I don’t think so, though they are lovely and wonderful to receive. It’s not chocolate either, though that never hurts. Jewelry isn’t a bad substitute, but that’s what it is—that's what they all are--substitutes. Tokens. Material attempts to say what we feel--or at least what we want to feel.

Paying attention is how we’ll know what to give to our beloved on the day set aside for romance. Paying attention is what will make the gift work, because really, the true gift--the gift only the loved one can give-- is the attention. The tokens we give—the dinner out, the evening in, the meal cooked and served—that’s the external indicator. It’s very telling that people run
around like mad at the last minute looking for something….ANYTHING….to give to their love for Valentine’s Day. Those people haven’t paid attention, and often the gift will be nice but will….well…it’ll ring just a tad hollow.

Because it’s the attention we crave. That undivided attention we got from our mate when we first discovered one another. That belief that we were truly interesting enough to arouse deep passion in another person. Having someone know us at a level far deeper than surface. To be known—to be seen—and to be loved and appreciated. That’s addictive. We want it, and we never stop wanting it.

I’ll remember that scavenger hunt forever because he cared enough to pay attention to what would make a wonderful day for me, when I hadn’t even asked for anything. Wasn’t expecting anything. It was stunning, and I was speechless.


Here's that ad again....the one I used in my Killer Kisses blog last fall. Really now, does this guy look like he's thinking about the football playoffs?

Sometimes it comes down to something as simple as turning off the tv. If you're a guy, the first time you kissed her, I’m betting you didn’t have one eye on CNN.

Ladies, The first time he kissed you, I bet you weren’t worried about who’d get off the island on Lost. The first time, I bet you were looking at, and thinking about, each other.

All those novels we Banditas write--and the ones we ALL devour as though they were the very air we breathe? Those heroes tend to be...well...focused...on the heroine. And I think part of the fix we get from the stories is living out the fantasy of having that undivided attention many of us haven't experienced since we were dating. Based on the entertainment men frequently choose, I have to wonder if part of the fix for them is also the fantasy of having someone who's not just hot, but hot specifically for them. Maybe, maybe not.

Could that be the secret to rekindling that first-time feeling? Remembering to really look at one another again, inside and out? Stopping long enough to pay attention?

So how about you, Bandita friends? What’s the most romantic thing someone’s done for you?

Have you done something incredibly romantic for someone else—something he or she LOVED?

What sets your senses tingling and captures your focus like nothing else?

What’s your idea of an incredibly romantic, but real-life, here-and-now possible date? And what about it makes it romantic? Is it the setting? Is it the person you’re with?

How do you recapture the romance in the craziness of modern life?

When was the last time you, or your significant other really, truly paid attention?

Is there a character in a novel that stops your heart and takes your breath because.....he's paying attention?