Thursday, January 8, 2009

Truck Nuts

by Cassondra Murray

Can any of y’all explain this to me?

I am a country girl. I like trucks.
In fact, my first ever new car was a pickup truck. Gray Mazda. I loved her. Still do. Poor thing is down with brake trouble and has over 350,000 miles on her and still, I’m not giving her up. She’s out beside the driveway. Her paint is faded and she’s got a few rust spots, but I will get her fixed.

See there? My truck is a female. I know this. I can’t tell you how I know, but I do.


I just know. We call her the Wonder Truck.

Most of our cars have names, and, usually, gender, and I’ve noticed that we’re not alone. Lots of folks name their cars. Casper is a white SUV, named after the Friendly Ghost. Flower is a black and gold Prizm with a purple flower spray painted on the hood (Don’t ask. It’s a long story.). I have a friend whose SUV is named Vader. I once knew a car named Daisy.

Even my mechanic knows our cars by name. “You bringin’ Casper in to get the belts changed next week or not?”

I’ve called him for help before. “I’m stuck on Nashville Road. Flower won’t start. Can you come get me?” He did. I think he feels obligated. After all, he made Flower out of two other cars. That makes him..well…kinda like her dad, doesn’t it?

I have now asked a bunch of people whether their vehicle is a boy or a girl. To a one, they answered with a minimum of consideration. “Oh, my car is a girl,” one of my friends said. “When she goes in for a tire rotation and balance I tell her I’m taking her for her mani-pedi.” Alllllrightythen.

The interesting thing is that as many of the men I questioned had “girl” cars as “boy” cars, and women had equal numbers of “boy” cars as “girl” cars. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the size or shape of the car, or the size or shape of the owner, though I think some cars might lend themselves toward one gender over the other. For instance, this car on the right I think is sort of a "boy" looking car. But the Hello Kitty car below, not so much.



Strange, isn’t it? Giving our cars names? Endowing them with sentience? I’m not sure when this started. Maybe with Herbie the Love Bug. ( I’m old enough to remember the original Herbie). There was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, who definitely had personality. Pixar released a film called Cars—and all of them have personalities.

We humans spend ton-o-bucks on these machines, we spend scads of time in them, and I guess they become extensions of us. Part of it is image I suppose. Right now I’m conflicted. I'm driving a minivan. I actually love my van. It hauls big dog crates and lots of gear for search and rescue, its comfortable, gets great gas mileage, and thus far I’ve proven to be nearly invisible to law enforcement.

But I don’t like minivans. I don’t like the way they look, and I don’t like the “soccer mom” image because I’m not one. I’m not a mom. See there? I have this need for my car to be an extension of me—of the persona in which I see myself. I’ve tried to come up with ways to de-momify the minivan. The best suggestion thus far has been to add a machine gun turret to the roof.

Like it or not, cars do get personified by their owners. When I trade cars I have a sense of loss—as though I’m saying goodbye to a friend—one who’s traveled with me through ups and downs, both physical and emotional. After all, I’ve spent years singing along to the radio, laughing, crying, and having fights with my husband in my car.

But never, not even once in my lifetime, have I felt the need to prove my car’s gender by attaching plastic or chrome genitalia to it. This I do not understand.

I knew Truck Nuts existed, but I’d never SEEN any until a few days ago and all of a sudden, there they were, on a big white dually turning left in front of me. And lemme tell ya, they were hangin' low. So low that they were dragging the asphalt as he made the turn. All I could do was grit my teeth and say “Ooooowwwwwwww! Dang, that’s gotta burn!”

Truck nuts come in all colors, which seems appropriate. If you’re going to do something as asinine as chaining fake testicles to your automobile, at least have the class to make them match, ya know? Purely for research, I said to my husband, “If I bought a set of white truck nuts for Casper, would you put them on him?”

Him(frowing): “No.”

Me: “Why not?”

Him: “I just wouldn’t!”

Me(waving arms): “WHY NOT?”

Him (frustrated): “Its…just…not….ME…to put truck nuts on my vehicle. I’d rather have little bitty Special Forces Stickers and if you know what they mean you get it and if you don’t know what they mean, you don’t need to know.”

Me(arms crossed, lips pushed out in consideration): “Okay then.”

Since then I’ve done a bit of research and Googled a fair number of images and sources. I found out that you can get Truck Nuts that light up bright red when you brake. Or you can get multi-function ones. When you're turning right, the right one flashes, left, the left one flashes and so on and so forth. They glow white for backing up. Hey, why not?
But I have noticed that most folks who endow their vehicles have those appendages waaaaay too far to the rear. Take that photo of the red truck at the top of the blog as an example. They're just plain too far back. That’s another thing about growing up on a farm. I have a good sense of where they ought to be.
If a truck were to actually be…well…sentient, and actually have said…accessories….they’d be just south of the rear wheels in the area of the spare tire. Not hanging out there on the trailer hitch in front of God and everybody.

It’s the writer in me I suppose. I just can’t seem to let go of this.

Oh. Bad choice of words maybe.

When I see strange behavior, I want to know why. Why is that person doing that? How can I write characters that are real if I can't figure out real people?

A few years ago I was on I-65, driving to Nashville one morning for work. A monster-sized flatbed tractor-trailer was in front of me. Ginormous chains ran from the corners of the huge (mostly empty) flat trailer into the center, where they secured an eensy teensy Tonka toy bulldozer. The driver had switched out the signs on the front and back of the truck to say “Undersize Load.” I laughed out loud. That truck driver took his valuable time and set that up after his last delivery, expressly to make other people smile as they drove by him on the Interstate. THAT I can appreciate.

But this whole Truck Nuts phenomenon—I don’t quite get it. Do you suppose this is the same thing? Is it a joke? Am I missing something here?



I recognize that there are certain vehicles that may suffer from sexual identity crises. But do you think some folks actually need to validate the gender of their vehicles?

What do you think, Bandita Buddies?

Do you own an automobile?

Is it a boy or a girl?

Does it have a name?

Does your significant other have Truck Nuts attached to his or her vehicle? Hey, some girls have them too! Indeed they do. A fair number of ladies have trucks that are boys and they have the appropriate parts to prove it!

Have you ever seen a set of Truck Nuts in real life? What was your reaction? If you’re a female, would you go on a date with a man in a truck which was…obviously a boy?

If you’re a guy, would you put them on your truck?

For those NOT in the States, are Truck Nuts purely an American phenomenon? Or have they spread to where you are yet?



And you might as well weigh in on which is in better taste--Matching or contrasting colors?

129 comments:

danie88 said...

oh oh oh is he mine?

Cassondra said...

Congrats danie!

Snapped him up from Virginia--quite likely by a feather.

danie88 said...

yes, I do own a car (though it's currently stuck in the driveway til spring because it's not working for some reason... grrr

it's a boy... and i call him Car... i know such a unique name right? haha

if i had a significant other he wouldn't have Truck Nuts on his car... i honestly roll my eyes and laugh if someone has those on their car... if you really need to prove how masculine you or your car is then that's just sad and funny lol

No I have not seen a set of Truck Nuts in real life (only in photos)... I'm sure I will though... my small town is filled with a bunch of wierdos who would love to have those hooked to their vehicles lol

would i go on a date with a guy who's truck was obviously a boy... i guess that would depend on the guy... maybe... maybe not... im not gonna judge someone just because they have plastic nuts on there vehicle lol

danie88 said...

woohoo! GR and I are gonna have fun today! :D

flchen1 said...

Wow, just when you think you've seen it all...

The car I drive most now is *gulp* yes, a minivan. Hm... I haven't really considered gender, but it's probably a girl; someone suggested Alta for a name, which seems perfectly fine to me. Of course, our kids call the cars "Mommy's car" and "Daddy's car," which work, too.

No Truck Nuts for either of us, and as for whether I'd consider dating someone with Truck Nuts mounted, well, it'd really depend on the guy ;)

How hilarious, Cassondra!

Congrats on the GR, danie88!!

Cassondra said...

danie88 said:

yes, I do own a car (though it's currently stuck in the driveway til spring because it's not working for some reason... grrr

it's a boy... and i call him Car...


Ha! I knew it. You guys have names for your cars too--and you know their genders.

would i go on a date with a guy who's truck was obviously a boy... i guess that would depend on the guy... maybe... maybe not... im not gonna judge someone just because they have plastic nuts on there vehicle lol

That's probably a really good call danie. It could be just a great (or a warped) sense of humor ya know? That's kinda what I'm wondering. Would anybody really take this seriously? I'm doubting it. But then....there are some strange behaviors out there.... (cue twilight zone music)

Cassondra said...

flchen said:

The car I drive most now is *gulp* yes, a minivan. Hm... I haven't really considered gender, but it's probably a girl; someone suggested Alta for a name, which seems perfectly fine to me.

Hey, I think minivans are great cars! I just don't like the image ya know? But you ARE a mom, and there's no better vehicle for a busy mom than a minivan. And I've never considered it, but I don't think I know one minivan that would be a boy. Maybe minivans are sort of inherently "girls"?

We'll see. I KNOW there are other minivan drivers who visit the lair. We'll find out if they're all girls or not. Hey, this could be valuable resarch. Maybe we could get a grant....

BTW, I like Alta for a name.

Donna MacMeans said...

ROTFLMAO!

Cassondra - I have never seen truck nuts, though I have no doubt that they exist. I missed the white pair on the red car until you mentioned them further down in the post. I mean...I thought you were talking about "nuts" as in car-crazy. Well, duh...

I would probably date someone with truck nuts because I probably wouldn't even see them - and when I did, I'd be laughing so hard...well, I doubt the guy would want to go out with me again.

I will now be looking a little closer at the trucks whizzing past me on the interstate. Question - if the car has additional plastic body parts - what does that make the tailpipe?

Donna MacMeans said...

Danie88 - Woohoo on the GR!

Keira Soleore said...

I was far too busy laughing my head off to try to nab the rooster.

Dani, you got him good. What's your entertainment plan for him today?

Cassondra, I call my SUV a people mower. It's big, it guzzles gas, it moves many people at the same time, and it takes me from point A to point B. It has no name, no gender, and no affection.

Helen said...

Congrats Dani enjoy your day with him

Cassondra I am still laughing I have never heard of truck nuts or seen them before your post today I am sure that there are a lot of Aussie blokes that would just love having a set hanging of their cars or utes or trucks I am sure it won't be too long and we will be seeing them here as well.

I have a car the first car I have ever owned in my name a white mitsubishi lancer and I love it but it is the only car we have so I have to share I have never thought about what gender it is and no we don't have a name for it.

As for matching or contrast I thing matching

Have Fun
Helen

Anna Sugden said...

OMG Cassondra - what a way to start the day! Truck nuts ROFL.

Never heard of them before - or seen them (which is amazing having lived in NJ for so long). I can imagine certain blokes over here having them ... not the kind Id date though.

Lovely Hubby would roll his eyes and ask "Why?" at them.

My first car was a cream Triumph Toledo and he was called Tommy. I didn't name the company cars as they changed every year.

My last car was a bright red bug. It was christened "The Anna Car" thanks to my best friend's son, Harry. (Actually, what happened was that when he was little, I taught him to call all bugs Anna Car *g*. Can't tell you how cool he thought it was to ride in the real thing!) It was a very sad day when I had to sell The Anna Car, but I couldn't bring her home to England with me. :(

Natalie Hatch said...

Isn't it amazing that people are trying to masculinise cars? Giving them balls, it makes me wonder if the drivers have any to spare. Sorry that doesn't sound nice at all. I'm soo glad hubby hasn't seen these. Actually I think my younger brother would put a pair on his car just to tick me off. *stepping down from my feminist soap box*

Terry Odell said...

FWIW, stupid as these things are (and yes, I've seen them on trucks) there's a legislator here in Florida who want to get them banned. Don't these guys have better things to do? I mean, there are school programs being cut right and left and someone wants to outlaw truck accessories?

I've got a Honda Fit Sport. I call it Zippy. (Have trouble keeping it under 80 on the highways.) No gender. It's orange. One of my writing buddies and her husband always names their cars. Sarah, my heroine in Hidden Fire calls here Honda Element "Heffalump."

hrdwrkdmom aka Dianna said...

Congrats Danie, hope you guys have fun today. Between Helen and Virginia he might be a little spoiled so don't let him get to demanding.

I drive an Explorer and BF asked if I wanted a set of those for it. I said I don't think so, I will just get one of those trailer hitches that you turn to the different sized balls instead of separate ones to hang under it. I have seen them and if by some strange twist of fate I would have them on the suv they would have to match.

I haven't driven this vehicle enough to get it's personality yet. I do think it is male though because it doesn't feel like a female to me. I am having some difficulty adjusting to him.

The car that was totaled was definitely a female, her name was Bess and she was a very good girl that did her best to never fail me. The car before that was also female and her name was Edith, I promised her my income tax if she would just hold on and not fall apart on me. She held on and she got my income tax, she had a spa day with it.

Kirsten said...

Oh my goodness -- those things are so icky! I am sorry, anyone who has them -- but ewww! It's not like the male anatomy was so pretty in the first place, but now we have to look at it bumping on the ground in florescent colors?

(shudder) Yucky, yucky, yucky.

My first car was definitely a girl. Her name was Honey. My sister and I bought our first cars when she was just starting law school and I was a junior in college. They were the same make and model (Geo Prizm) and were both girls. She named hers Lady. We loved our little cars.

I put almost 150,000 miles on Honey over 10 years, and finally donated her to Goodwill when we had our second kid. (Just couldn't fit two car seats into that subcompact!) Then we got the Minivan, which we tried to name, but its true identity has eluded us. It eventually became "the big car". Our other car is a sedan, so that's "the little car". :-) Oddly enough, they're both sex-less. I think that may be because we got both used, and they're both entirely utilitarian vehicles that neither my husband or I particularly like, but they were cheap and safe, and like your minivan, Cassondra, useful for hauling kids and dogs, and STUFF. :-)

Louisa Cornell said...

Congrats, danie! Hope you have lots of Tim Tams or at least some chocolate and liquor for our boy!

OMG Cassondra! I really needed that laugh! Too funny! I have no doubt there are truck nuts everywhere here in LA (Lower Alabama.) I just never dreamed of looking for them and now I will probably wreck Blue Boy (BB)trying to see if any of my fellow travelers have truck nuts. Yes, my car's name is Blue Boy (a blue Hyundai Accent.) One of my favorite vehicles was an ancient red Ford pickup that my students dubbed Big Red. I practically had to have a ladder to get into it.

No, I would not embarrass BB by attaching truck nuts to him. I feel certain he is sure enough of his own masculinity not to need them.

I wouldn't date anyone who felt the need to attach them. Just something odd about the need to accessorize to that degree.

Definitely matching on the color!

Susan Sey said...

Oh my lord, Cassondra, you always make me laugh!

Truck nuts?? Dear god.

However, while I have to say that my current vehicles do not have a gender or even a name, I did have a wonderful Toyota Corolla named Simon who ferried me back & forth between Texas & Michigan & Minnesota for a number of years with a stoic faithfulness that won my heart. He was a four-door family sedan in a quiet gray with excellent gas mileage. He was like a really high quality butler. I just snapped my fingers & said, "Simon? I need to go eight hundred miles this week." And he'd say, "Very good, madame," & make it happen with a minimum of fuss.

I still miss him. When I eventually donated him to charity, (he was still dependable, though his incidentals--door handles, windows, etc--were falling apart) I wrote a note & put it in the glove box explaining to the new owner what his name was & why she should adore him like I did.

I like to think he's still out there on the road, helping some single mom get her kids to school. It would be just his style.

I never put nuts on him, though. It would have offended every dignified bone is his body. Guy like Simon didn't need the guy behind him marveling at his stones to know he had 'em. :-)

Trish Milburn said...

I think I've seen my first pair of auto endowments in the past year. Call me clueless, but I didn't know they existed until then. I just stared at the truck in front of me thinking, "Is that what I think it is?"

My little Nissan Sentra, which has 260,000+ miles on her, is a girl, though she doesn't have a name. She's a little four-cylinder, and she doesn't particularly like protracted hills. So I pat her on the dashboard and say something really silly like, "You can do it, little car." :) I like to personalize my car with bumper stickers.

Terry Odell said...

For anyone who really wants more information, here's the link to the website.

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

OMGosh, how hysterical. When you told me the title of your blog Cassondra, I, like Donna, assumed...well that it was about people who were crazy about their trucks. SNORK.

Shoulda' known better.

What a laugh riot. I wouldn't shame my poor vehicle with neon nuts for love ner money. However, I would probably laugh myself silly if I saw them on a truck. Esp. the flashing ones. Snork. I know in my hometown there are probaly plenty riding around, or maybe not since most of those guys are plenty secure and don't need to show 'em off. Ha! I've not seen them around DC, but with the male insecurities around HERE, I'm surprised I haven't! HAHAHA!

I adored the story about the trucker with the Undersized Load. That is tooooo funny. There's a gal around here that puts decor on her lemon yellow VW bug - antlers and a nose at Christmas, magnetic stripes and antenna during the spring to make it a bumblebee. :> I LOL every time I see her on the road.

My first car, an ab-fab Subaru wagon was Crew. He could haul everything AND the Crew, hence the name. :> He was a darling friend who I sold to a kindred spirit when he had a whopping 122,000 miles on him. Last I heard he was still going strong. I had a nondescript TOyota for a while, with no personality. The next Subaru wagon was Madge and she too was a sturdy, Germanic Hausfrau get-er-done type. Never a task Madge wouldn't undertake from rutted roads to fitting in 3 dog crates plus luggage. :> Poor Madge was totaled at 112,000 miles or she'd be with me still.

The current crop of...wait for it...mini-vans aren't as personable. Bessy, the green minivan is my fav, but my DH is driving her. Despite her name, she's sleek and powerful, if nowhere but her own mind. The "new" van, is simply Slick. Lots of gadgets, focused on the tech, not a lot of conversation. He works hard - too hard sometimes - but not very much personality. Too nerdy.

My all time fav was a friend's car, a spicy orange VW named Pim (or called The Pimmers) - short for Pimento. Loved that car. It would go anywhere and do anything. Spicy!

To answer the Q's: No, don't think I'd date in a vehicle wearing truck-nuts. But if they have to have 'em, they should match.

Snork.

Treethyme said...

Oooh, long story. I owned a really boring Ford Taurus that we've been passing around the family. It used to be my husband's car. But then my son sold his car to use the money toward his study abroad trip, thinking he wouldn't really need a car at college. But as it's turned out he did need a car, so I let him take mine. My husband and I both work from home now, so it makes sense. It's hard to get used to being without my own car, though! Once he graduates, maybe we'll be able to afford another one. (I could always ask for the Taurus back, but then I wouldn't be able to get something new and cute!)

I love trucks but wouldn't want to drive something that big.

jo robertson said...

Hilarious, Cassondra, a gallon of hot chocolate just gummed up my keyboard and monitor!

The first time I saw auto nuts I was with my son. What the heck are those, I asked? When he explained, eyebrows lifted and looking askance at his mom, I thought, Holy Crap! That's just plain disgusting.

My car is definitely a girl -- Ellie -- and she's tangerine and I love her. She's had several flat tires already although she's practically brand-new, but I can't blame her for that. I may have gotten a little careless driving off the blacktop.

MsHellion said...

*ROTFLMAO* The blogs here are hysterical as always. I love you guys.

I do have a car. He's a boy; he doesn't have a name. And I think of him as more a "horse" so when I need to speed up, not only do I press the gas (duh) but I make clicking sounds with my teeth and say, "Come on, baby..." and he speeds up. (My brother finds this hilarious because I don't realize I'm doing it.)

I think the nuts thing is rather tacky, but that's me. And it makes me want to roll my eyes. *LOL* Get a grip, guys. Are you feeling THAT emasculated you have to hang plastic nuts on your car? Seriously? Go watch a football game in your underwear and leave the car alone. Geez.

Of course if one wanted to put something piratey on their vehicle.... I guess it's all a matter of perspective, huh?

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Ellie and Jo go offroading...Its a mental image I have to love...

Grins.

Having seen pix of Ellie, I have to say she's a peach of a car!

CrystalGB said...

My car's name is Betsy. I had never seen Truck Nuts before. So, no we don't have any.

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Hi Crystal GB! How'd Betsey get her name?

BTW, Jo, what made you name Ellie, Ellie?

Cassondra said...

Hi everybody! I'm up, I'm up, I swear. I am getting old. These midnight postings and races for the Golden Rooster are getting to be too much for me.

Donna said:

I will now be looking a little closer at the trucks whizzing past me on the interstate. Question - if the car has additional plastic body parts - what does that make the tailpipe?

Well...ahem....

Given my experiences growing up on the farm, I'd say we can't ignore the fact that the tailpipe is on the BACK, ya know? So if I'm understanding your question completely, I don't think we can make that leap.

This is part of what's so confusing for me. These folks who are adding on the big...appendages have left out one that is of particular importance to most males I know....human AND non-human. And no truck I've seen has any natural parts, or additional accessories to equal the one on the front of...well...take the black bull in the middle picture as an example...

I better shut up now.

Cassondra said...

Keira said:

Cassondra, I call my SUV a people mower. It's big, it guzzles gas, it moves many people at the same time, and it takes me from point A to point B. It has no name, no gender, and no affection.


Oh, poor Keira! Maybe we can help. What color is it? Are you sure it doesn't have gender? It sounds like a boy to me. It's big, keeps you safe, gets things done, even if not efficiently, and drinks fast...You know how men turn up the cola or milk or whatever they're drinking and just sort of open their throat and pour it down? (I swear--my husband can drink an entire bottle of Dr. Pepper in ONE swallow. I don't understand how it's possible, but most men I know can do this.)

Maybe you could shorten it to PM or something. Give it a pat when you walk out to go for a drive next time. See if you don't feel some small bit of warmth coming back to you.

Cassondra said...

Helen said:

I am sure that there are a lot of Aussie blokes that would just love having a set hanging of their cars or utes or trucks I am sure it won't be too long and we will be seeing them here as well.

Helen, you might have a fight on your hands. As I googled this phenomenon, I found out that politicians in Florida, Virginia, and Maryland have, at one point or another, introduced legislation to ban these...additions.

Some folks find them offensive I guess. Seems to me like those politicians must not have enough to do with their time.

I wonder how the politicians in Australia and...oh...the blue blood sensibilities in the UK would HAVE to be offended by
this, don't you think? Then again...with their sense of humor, maybe not.

And I CAN see the stereotypical Aussie guy (Of course, most of us Americans have only a movie and tv idea of what an Aussie guy is like)having truck nuts on his vehicle.

And you'll have to tell us more about your lancer. I bet we can name it. Does it have personality? Do you keep anything hanging from the mirror or on the dash? Is it "cute" or "sleek"? Surely we can help you find your car's true inner self.

Virginia said...

Congrats danie on nabbing that rooster! Is he still wearing his purple paisley pants and yellow peace sigh shirt today or did he change from the 70's look.

My car is female and her name is baby. She's a good old car and I love her. We go out all the time and she gets me where I am going.

My husband has an old truck that he drives to work, but no truck nuts on it. I followed a truck out of town the other day that had blue balls hanging on it. I am not sure why anyone would want them hanging from their truck.

Cassondra said...

Anna Sugden said:

It was a very sad day when I had to sell The Anna Car, but I couldn't bring her home to England with me. :(

OH, Anna, how SAD! And she was in perfectly good health too! I hope she went to a good home. And see..another Bandita naming her cars. I think it's just easier sometimes--in conversation anyhow. We're going to town? Are we taking the Trooper? (and in our case we had two troopers, so it would have been even worse) Are we taking MY Trooper or Your Trooper. It's just easier to say, "I left my sweater in Casper." Or "I found a pair of reading glasses in Flower, are they yours?"

I love "The Anna Car." Just the name has personality.

PJ said...

LMAO! Like others, I looked at the title and thought, "Oh how sweet. She's nuts about her truck." (snork!) Obviously, I had never heard of truck nuts or seen any on the road though, considering where I live, I'm confident there are many of them out there. You won't find them on any vehicle I own though and I can't imagine dating a guy who flashes them on his either.

After years of driving (and loving) sports cars I now own a minivan. I've been driving it for 11 years and it's been a great vehicle, very reliable, comfy and surprisingly fun to drive. It's stylish but with plenty of room to haul around kids, dogs and assorted "stuff". I've never named my cars but all of them have felt like females except the Trans Am. That one was definitely a male. Lots of car testosterone there. My van has some lovely accessories such as the shamrock hanging from the rearview mirror that has been passed down from two previous vehicles, the cinnamon apple spice air freshener that keeps her smelling sweet, an American flag decal, a "Save a Life. Adopt a homeless dog." magnetic bumper sticker and another that says "GO NOLES!" She's also adorned with a front vanity plate that says, "I adopted my dog from Project: HALO." She's obviously very proud of the two rescued family members that she safely carries about. (grin)

Cassondra said...

Natalie Hatch said:

*stepping down from my feminist soap box*

Hey it's okay Natalie. When I read that the politicians were trying to ban them, I thought, Yaknow, if you're gonna ban those, you need to ban the "nekkid chicks" on the mudflaps. While I can see the difference, it aggravated me. I wonder if somebody came up with a set of breasts you could bolt onto a car if there would be people trying to ban those?

I keep going back and forth from thinking it's really funny to thinking it's stupid to thinking it's kinda disgusting...but I keep coming back to funny and trying to figure out the mentality of the folks who put them on their vehicles.

In one sense, I guess I think our culture needs to get over the fear of the naked human form. But then I think...there ARE some things I don't particularly want to look at. Conflicted. I'm conflicted can you tell?

PJ said...

Hey Danie, congrats on nabbing the GR!

terrio said...

I HATE TRUCK NUTS. There, I said it. I hate those things and I think they are the dumbest thing ever. (Note: I have not read any of the comments so I apologize if anyone has them and loves them.)

I see them around here (Va Beach) all the time. My guess is the combo of military and close proximity to the NC border.

My vehicles have always been female. My dad is a gear head and he's always referred to our vehicles as female. As long as I can remember. But I think my last truck, little white S-10 was a boy. I called him Buddy. My daughter called him Emily. LOL!

I bought a new car in December and she's very pretty. Her name is Chloe. I never named cars until my daughter came along and wanted to name them like her dolls. It's really just to humor her, but the names are cute. Our full size GMC Sierra was Ashley. :)

I don't think I could date a guy with those things on his truck. But I do love me a truck. My guy drives a four door Dodge Ram. I love that truck.

Great blog, Cassondra!

Cassondra said...

Terry Odell said:

FWIW, stupid as these things are (and yes, I've seen them on trucks) there's a legislator here in Florida who want to get them banned. Don't these guys have better things to do?

EXACTLY! With our tax dollars too(well, YOUR tax dollars anyhow)

I've got a Honda Fit Sport. I call it Zippy. (Have trouble keeping it under 80 on the highways.) No gender. It's orange.

Terry, I get the distinct impression that perhaps Zippy WAS a boy, and he's been...well...gelded. I think there are a fair number of gelded vehicles out there on the road. Which MIGHT account for the need some folks have to correct that situation.

Cassondra said...

Dianna said:

I drive an Explorer and BF asked if I wanted a set of those for it. I said I don't think so, I will just get one of those trailer hitches that you turn to the different sized balls instead of separate ones to hang under it.

LOL! You know what I like? I like those little propellers that fit on the trailer hitch. They spin while you're driving, like the propeller on a boat motor. I think they're funny and cute.

How funny that your BF wanted to get you a set of truck nuts for your Explorer. Evidently it's OBVIOUSLY a male vehicle? You'll have to let us know what you name him.

The car before that was also female and her name was Edith, I promised her my income tax if she would just hold on and not fall apart on me. She held on and she got my income tax, she had a spa day with it.

Aha! Another person who takes her car to the "spa". And she deserved it didn't she? Holding on like that? I've had cars that held on for me when they had every right to give up. They were the hardest ones to let go of when I had to trade. :0(

Cassondra said...

Kirsten said:

It's not like the male anatomy was so pretty in the first place, but now we have to look at it bumping on the ground in florescent colors?

Well...you're right. You just are. Of course, mounted properly they should NOT bump on the ground. I think the set I saw was a bit neglected. I will say that the first ones looked less like human anatomy and more like the big hairy Angus bull in the middle of the blog--they tend to be more..well..even I guess you could say. More symmetrical. A little less gross. I think it's the eerie resemblance to the real thing--the HUMAN variety-- that kind of weirds me out a little.

And much as I like the real thing, I do admit that no, it's not particularly pretty.

Regarding your present cars, and
Oddly enough, they're both sex-less.

Neutered. I'm tellin' ya. Gelded. Castrated. Whacked. It's sad how the personality is sort of whacked along with the gender isn't it?

Cassondra said...

Louisa said:

No, I would not embarrass BB by attaching truck nuts to him. I feel certain he is sure enough of his own masculinity not to need them.

Louisa, you have hit the nail on the head about Blue Boy being secure.

Wait. Maybe that's a bad euphemism for this particular blog.

Okay...and just think, that if you DID decide to...accessorize Blue Boy, and you chose matching...appendages, he'd go around with a constant case of...

ahem...

Cassondra said...

Susan Sey said:

I just snapped my fingers & said, "Simon? I need to go eight hundred miles this week." And he'd say, "Very good, madame," & make it happen with a minimum of fuss.

I still miss him. When I eventually donated him to charity, (he was still dependable, though his incidentals--door handles, windows, etc--were falling apart) I wrote a note & put it in the glove box explaining to the new owner what his name was & why she should adore him like I did.


See now, THIS...this is a true human-car bond. Simon took care of you, and when it was time to move on, you parted and felt the loss. I have two cars that I've missed in this way--I STILL miss them. I find this so strange the way we attach our energy to a machine, but it's fairly universal.

I believe Simon is still out there.

There's a song called My Old Yellow Car that most of you won't remember--country song from probably 25 years ago--that expresses it perfectly.

The lyric is:

Somewhere in a pile of rubber and steel
Is a rusted out shell of an automobile
And if engines could run on desire alone
My old yellow car would be drivin' us home.


The damn song makes me cry every time I hear it. They don't play it much any more. Good thing.

Cassondra said...

Trish said:

My little Nissan Sentra, which has 260,000+ miles on her, is a girl, though she doesn't have a name. She's a little four-cylinder, and she doesn't particularly like protracted hills. So I pat her on the dashboard and say something really silly like, "You can do it, little car." :)

See, I don't think that's silly. And look at all the miles she's carried you! I know you drove all over for one of your jobs--just like me. We spend that much time in our cars and well...we bond ya know? And evidently the pats are working.

Incidentally, one of the cars I miss most--perhaps the one I miss THE most--was a blue Sentra. She didn't have a name either, but I think about her a lot--and hope she's still out there. I traded her in on my truck, but she was still running just fine and I've always thought she probably felt a little betrayed by that.

I used to see her driving around town with different people in her--the ones who bought her from the dealer where I traded cars. That was weird. Like..."hey, there goes my car."

catslady said...

Cars are cars to me - sorry lol. My daughter was the one who pointed out the nuts to me one day - I thought she was kidding but apparently not. Who comes up with these things roflmao.

Dianna Love said...

Cassondra -

Only you would have a multi-color truck nut display. :) I love trucks and have always had one. I worked out of a truck for many years so I spent 75% of my time in the truck and the rest in a car or on a motorcycle. One of my truck's was Mean Green (a guy truck). I had another one that was Old Blue.

I loved my truck over all the much nicer cars I had because my trucks never left me stranded, not one time.

I want the one on the post with hood mounted artillery for the Atlanta traffic.

Helen said...

Cassondra
I brought my car after I lost my mum about 6 years ago so to me and yes I would say female car she is like a present from my Mum. Mum always wanted me to have my own car so Mum and I could go out together for about 5 years we had 2cars but now we only have 1 so as I said I am back to sharing but I don't think I will have an easy time letting her go when the time comes. I do have seat covers and a steering wheel cover that are from my footy team The Wests Tigers which are black with a tiger on them.

Have Fun
Helen

Suzanne Welsh said...

LOL Cassondra!

I haven't seen any truck nuts yet, but I didn't know to look for them, and quite frankly wouldn't have known what they were if I did see them. BUT now....given the number of trucks and SUV's being driven by Texas wanna-be cowboys in my town...I'm sure I'll be seeing them all the way to work tonight!!

And yes my car has a name...we call it.....The Toyota. hehehe

Cassondra said...

Hey Terry, thanks for giving the link. If you do a Google search there are PAGES of these things--One could, potentially, devote quite a lot of time to the study of vehicle genitalia...;0)

Cassondra said...

Jeanne said:

My all time fav was a friend's car, a spicy orange VW named Pim (or called The Pimmers) - short for Pimento. Loved that car. It would go anywhere and do anything. Spicy!

OH, see I love this. Pim and Madge sound wonderful. It's neat when the names totally match the personality of the car--like Susan's Simon.

I think I started naming cars when my high school best friend named my car. It was a little blue Chevette and my friend named it Smurfberry. I had my first fender bender in that car and ever after it had a crunched-in fender and its name turned into Smurfberry Crunch.

Come to think of it, I think Smurfberry Crunch had a bit of a gender identity crisis--it was perhaps slightly more feminine, but not by much. Smurfberry had personality though--in spades!

Love the story about the yellow VW. And I love it that she takes the time to do that to make other people smile.

Cassondra said...

Treethyme said:

I owned a really boring Ford Taurus that we've been passing around the family.

Now see, these are the cars that often get named in my family, simply because they're reliable and they're around so long--they become kind of like a family member. I usually got my mother's hand-me-down cars until I was married.

I don't think I can imagine not having my own car, even if it did make logical sense. I think I'd feel like I'd cut off my arm or something!

Cassondra said...

JoMama said:

My car is definitely a girl -- Ellie -- and she's tangerine and I love her. She's had several flat tires already although she's practically brand-new, but I can't blame her for that. I may have gotten a little careless driving off the blacktop.

MAY have gotten a little careless? Riiiiiiight. You've been four-wheeling in the Tangerine Bomb haven't you! You do have a cool car, Jo. I wondered what its name was. For some reason I thought it might be a boy, but I'd never heard you call her Ellie. Love the name. And hey, Ellie can hold her own off-road! Just keep the spare aired up (grin).

Cassondra said...

MsHellion said:

I do have a car. He's a boy; he doesn't have a name. And I think of him as more a "horse" so when I need to speed up, not only do I press the gas (duh) but I make clicking sounds with my teeth and say, "Come on, baby..." and he speeds up. (My brother finds this hilarious because I don't realize I'm doing it.)

Okay I have no idea why, but this does not surprise me for some reason. But we HAVE to give him a name. No good horse should go without a name! Maybe his name is Baby?

I also encourage my car when I'm going up hill and attempting to pass somebody--like big trucks on the interstate--my car kicks into overdrive and I lean forward a bit, grab onto the gearshift and make encouraging sounds as though it's a race and my car needs that little extra cheering on to make it in time.

I think a lot of people do this. What I can't figure out is WHY we do this personification.

Hellion, you give Baby a good pat on the fender and a scratch underneath the antenna next time you take him out for a ride.;0)

Cassondra said...

Oh, and Hellion said:

Get a grip, guys. Are you feeling THAT emasculated you have to hang plastic nuts on your car? Seriously? Go watch a football game in your underwear and leave the car alone. Geez.

And all the people (at least THIS people) said AMEN SISTAH!

I admit that I do smile when I see them. I think they're funny. But it's a scratch-your-head weird kind of funny ya know?

Cassondra said...

Crystal GB said:

My car's name is Betsy. I had never seen Truck Nuts before. So, no we don't have any.

Yeah, Crystal! We wanna hear the story. What's Betsy look like?

And I'll tell ya, if you were to pass from this realm without ever seeing an actual set of live truck nuts, you won't be any worse off. I'm just sayin.

Cassondra said...

Virginia said:

My car is female and her name is baby. She's a good old car and I love her. We go out all the time and she gets me where I am going

Virginia, I think these are actually the best cars. Slick new cars are nice and all, but somehow, the cars that have seen a few miles and been "lived in" have more personality to me--kind of like an old house. Maybe not as many fancy fixins, but they get you there and you "know" them ya know?

As to the truck with the blue ones...well...I think if I WERE forced to accessorize my truck with a set of these, I would NOT pick the blue ones. Not. I'm just sayin.

And BTW, is your house unusually quiet without the Feathered Beastie pattering around causing havoc?

Cassondra said...

PJ said:

After years of driving (and loving) sports cars I now own a minivan. I've been driving it for 11 years and it's been a great vehicle, very reliable, comfy and surprisingly fun to drive.

See...mine is just this way! Actually fun to drive and very reliable. But unlike yours, mine's not stylish. It's old and kind of, if not battle-scarred, at least a little tired-looking.

Interesting that your only "boy" car was the Trans Am. I would have to agree that those would tend toward the masculine side, though I'm sure there are exceptions.

I had never heard of truck nuts or seen any on the road though, considering where I live, I'm confident there are many of them out there. You won't find them on any vehicle I own though and I can't imagine dating a guy who flashes them on his either.

Well that's just the thing isn't it? They may be perfectly nice guys, but I sort of get this idea about what kind of guy they are because they have these on their trucks--it may be totally off base. I just can't figure it out.

And I admit that I can't imagine climbing into a truck to go on a date with a guy if he had a set of these hanging underneath. I'm not sure why--I mean--surely he has a set of his OWN ya know? It's just a little off-putting for some reason. *sigh* I may never figure it out.

Cassondra said...

terrio said:

I HATE TRUCK NUTS. There, I said it.

All RIGHT! Terrio, don't hold back! Tell us how you really feel! LOL! I was waiting for the first true truck nut hater to arrive. I knew there had to be one among us. (I think Kirsten is one, but she was more the ew...disgusting type.) You're the true, hit the nail on the head I HATE IT! type! Snork!

I love it that you hate them. (grin)

I don't think I could date a guy with those things on his truck. But I do love me a truck. My guy drives a four door Dodge Ram. I love that truck.

Well, I do too--love me some trucks. And the big Dodge Ram trucks are sort of OBVIOUSLY boys, ya know? But I think they're boys without displaying their goods to the whole world.

Yeah, I can see that there'd be an abundance of truck nuts around military bases. (grin) Guys in uniform are kinda hot, but not always subtle.

Cassondra said...

Darn, I'm getting a lot of double posts today. Sorry y'all. Maybe it's the laptop. I don't get along too well with these touchpads. sheesh.

Anna Campbell said...

Dani, looks like the rooster is going somewhere different today! Congratulations!

Cassondra, I ADORE your blogs. Will you blog every day? You always make me look at the world in a different way. I'm still choking on the thought that someone puts testicles on their CAR!!!! Oh, come on! That's not true, is it?

Sorry I'm just cruisin' through today, gals. Life has been pretty hectic since that devil'o'mine hit the shelves! Yay!

Oh, and I don't drive so I don't own a car. But I DO own a three-car garage which is currently full of books. I think that says a lot, really!

Cassondra said...

catslady said:

Who comes up with these things roflmao.

Well now THERE's a question (grin). I'd bet money some guys were sitting around drinking and somebody said, "my truck's got bigger balls than your truck," and somebody else said "your trucks a &%^$ ______(insert ugly word for female anatomy here" and then a fight followed, and somebody else (also drunk) decided that hey, there's a niche market here. And darn if he wasn't right.

*shrug* Somehow I just don't think it was a female who came up with this idea.

MsHellion said...

I also want to add: I adore pickup trucks and horrible to say, but I prefer guys who drive pick up trucks than those who drive "wimpy little conservation" cars. (I think it's a country girl thing.)

My libido also revs for muscle cars. Classic Pontiac GTOs, chargers, mustangs... Hot flashes galore.

Still hate the testicles hanging off the back though. Seriously. They would make me laugh and go, "What?" but I have a feeling the guy who puts that on the back of his truck also has the bumper sticker that says, "My truck is lifted because fat girls can't jump."

Which is untrue...and was proven to one poor idiot who parked outside of a Weight Watchers building. (He was not one of the WW members. He was getting his hair cut or something.) He drove away VERY quickly and I haven't seen his little bumper sticker since.

MsHellion said...

Really, Cass, you don't THINK a woman thought this idea up? Huh. How sexist of you. *snortal* You're probably right though. If I'd thought up this idea, I would have drawn them to look more aesthetically pleasing.

Cassondra said...

Dianna Love said:

Only you would have a multi-color truck nut display. :) I love trucks and have always had one...

Heeeeeyyyyy, what are you sayin? (grin)

You're right. Like a lot of guys, I'm not known for my subtlety (at least on the blog) either. I guess I'm the "in your face" Bandita. That's kinda scary.

I don't see how people live without a truck. Everybody needs to move stuff now and then. A truck was so "me" in personality. Still is truthfully, although I love SUVs now too, and I've gotten spoiled to the comfortable ride of the van. City traffic now with a straight shift is just too much work, but when I was younger that's what I always drove. The reason I won't get rid of my beat up little Mazda is that 1) I love her and 2)How on Earth do people live without a truck?

Cassondra said...

Helen said:

I bought my car after I lost my mum about 6 years ago so to me and yes I would say female car she is like a present from my Mum.

Oh Helen, I'd have a really hard time letting her go--especially with the connection to your mom. But I'm silly that way. It doesn't take much to make me get all sniffly and weepy and stuff. Treat her well and maybe she'll last forever!

Cassondra said...

Suz said:

And yes my car has a name...we call it.....The Toyota. hehehe

Ha! Suz, you're not getting away that easily? Is "The Toyota" a boy or a girl? A writer with a personality as fun as yours must have a car with a personality to match!

Cassondra said...

Anna Campbell said:

I'm still choking on the thought that someone puts testicles on their CAR!!!! Oh, come on! That's not true, is it?


It's the truth. Banditas' Honor! Google it when you get time. LOTS of pics are out there of the real live thing....I'm just sayin.

Nuthin wrong with a garage full of books. Nuthin at all....

Keira Soleore said...

Cassondra wrote, "Maybe you could shorten it to PM or something. Give it a pat when you walk out to go for a drive next time."

Did as you suggested. It's silver and a he. I remember feeling very sorry for it when it was in an accident last June. Bringing back those memories brought back some pride and, well, OK, awright, affection, too. There, I said it.

FO! Got TTD! YooHoo Me!!

Keira Soleore said...

Fine, fine, fine. He has a name now, too. Taking PM and turning it into Pym, like the 16th century English statesman.

Cassondra said...

Hellion said:

I also want to add: I adore pickup trucks and horrible to say, but I prefer guys who drive pick up trucks

*sigh* Me too Hellion. It's my country upbringing. I just can't seem to get beyond it--not on the inside anyhow.

I, however, have some sort of genetic malformation that makes me not care a whit for the muscle cars. My husband likes those. His dad and uncles used to race, so they like the big engines and all that. Me? Nah. I like the "Can GET IT DONE" aura that a truck gives off. Competence and reliability say "powerful" to me, more than speed, noise and flash--but like I said, that's my genetic malfunction. My poor husband. He was a tough warrior guy in a sports car. It took surprisingly few nag sessions and beatings before he DID learn how to do plumbing and wiring, so all is well now.

I have a feeling the guy who puts that on the back of his truck also has the bumper sticker that says, "My truck is lifted because fat girls can't jump."

Which is untrue...and was proven to one poor idiot who parked outside of a Weight Watchers building. (He was not one of the WW members. He was getting his hair cut or something.) He drove away VERY quickly and I haven't seen his little bumper sticker since.


Snork! I would have LOVED to see that--and I'm not surprised that he hauled his idiotic bumper sticker-covered butt out of there. Woooot! (grin)

Cassondra said...

Hellion said:

If I'd thought up this idea, I would have drawn them to look more aesthetically pleasing.

Ha! The bull-shaped ones really are better than the human-shaped ones....

I'm just sayin. :0/

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Go, Fo on having a garage full of books. :> LUV that.

I miss having a truck. I used to have access to a beat up old truck when I lived in NC and you're right, Cassondra, sometimes you just NEED a truck! I'd have one here, fo'sho'if I had parking space for it. I drove a huge red Ram Charger as a rental one day. The rental guy was all apologetic that all he had was a truck. I was grinnin' like a fool, going, "Hey, NO problem!!"

Luv me some trucks.

Cassondra said...

Keira said:

I remember feeling very sorry for it when it was in an accident last June. Bringing back those memories brought back some pride and, well, OK, awright, affection, too. There, I said it.

Gotcha! (grin)

Fine, fine, fine. He has a name now, too. Taking PM and turning it into Pym, like the 16th century English statesman.

Ohhhh, very aristocratic. And he's silver? Hmmmm. I think you had this knowledge deep inside all along Keira my girl! We just had to bring it forward into your consciousness.....

It fits you. He's sophisticated, you're sophisticated. Perfect match. You give Pym a hug from me next time you climb in and start his engine.

Cassondra said...

Keira said:

FO! Got TTD! YooHoo Me!!

WOOHOOOO!

Mine's still sitting at the B&N.

Waiting for me.

:0(

Cassondra said...

Jeanne said:

I drove a huge red Ram Charger as a rental one day. The rental guy was all apologetic that all he had was a truck. I was grinnin' like a fool, going, "Hey, NO problem!!"

Ah....you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl...

Yup.

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Cassondra said: Ah....you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl...

SO true. My boys loved it too - proving it's a guy thing as well - and my son Cooper made me take his picture in "The Big Red Truck" and he took mine leaning on the tailgate. Snork. He'll sometimes say, "I wish we had a truck like Big Red."

I predict a truck purchase in his future...

Christine Wells said...

Too funny, Cassondra! I'm...speechless. Never heard of these before, which doesn't mean they don't exist in Australia.

I'll keep an eye out. *g*

Congrats on the rooster, Danie!

Kate Carlisle said...

OMG!! I'm laughing too hard to answer intelligibly! Give me a second!

*sucking in deep breaths*

Whew. Okay. I'm still shaking my head at the photograph of all the available colors. LOL. I've seriously never heard of such a thing but I'm so glad you opened my eyes, Cassondra!

Growing up, we had a '57 Chevy station wagon named Tom and a small Hillman ('56 maybe?) named Betsy. Now I drive a Honda Civic called the Beavermobile. :-)

And I agree with Kirsten. They're just not the most attractive body part to have dangling from the tail end of a truck. Just sayin.

danie88, hope you had some fun with the great Feathered One!

Nancy said...

Danie, congrats on grabbing the bird!

Cassondra, I used to name my cars (female), but we tend to drive them until they don't drive well anymore, which means i get attached to them. In turn, that makes getting rid of them hard enough without endowing them with personality.

I had never head of Truck Nuts until today. If I had I heard of them from a source less reliable than you, I would not have believed the report. This puts a whole new spin on the "get a life" vein of thinking.

If thinking has anything to do with it. The "guys sitting around drinking scenario" seems highly plausible.

Maybe I saw them and just didn't know them for what they were. Or maybe my life is too citified.

Fun blog, Cassondra!

Cassondra said...

Jeanne said:

I predict a truck purchase in his future...

You are bringing up one fine husband for some lucky gal...

Cassondra said...

Christine said:

I'm...speechless.

I'm having that effect on people more and more often...hmmmm....

Cassondra said...

Kate Carlisle said:

I'm still shaking my head at the photograph of all the available colors. LOL. I've seriously never heard of such a thing but I'm so glad you opened my eyes, Cassondra!

You're welcome and absolutely. Think of the shame of it if you went through life and didn't know about something as significant as TRUCK NUTS! (insert eye roll and small snork here). The interesting thing is that most cultural phenomena zooms right by me without my even noticing. For some reason this one has settled into my psyche and become a permanent fixture there. Not sure what that says about my psyche...

And I agree with Kirsten. They're just not the most attractive body part to have dangling from the tail end of a truck. Just sayin.

No, they're not. Indeed, they are not. Which perhaps lends even more credence to my theory about the drunken state of the entrepreneur who came up with this? I mean, I don't know many heterosexual men who like looking at other guys'...uhm...parts, yaknow? At least, they won't admit to it if they do. So here we go back to the question...

WHY? (shakes head, wanders off)

hrdwrkdmom aka Dianna said...

Cassondra said...
LOL! You know what I like? I like those little propellers that fit on the trailer hitch. They spin while you're driving, like the propeller on a boat motor. I think they're funny and cute.


Oh, for Christmas BF got me a Bass that fits over the ball and it wiggles it's tail when you stop. I love to fish so for Christmas he got me the bass and a small cooler for the boat filled with fishing supplies.

Cassondra said...

Nancy said:

I used to name my cars (female), but we tend to drive them until they don't drive well anymore, which means i get attached to them. In turn, that makes getting rid of them hard enough without endowing them with personality.

It DOES, doesn't it? It's aggravating. I can't help getting attached to them though. Even the ones we get second hand.

I think if cars did not have headlights I would not become so attached. The headlights and the emblem on the grill give them sort of a "face" and maybe that's part of it?

I had never head of Truck Nuts until today. If I had I heard of them from a source less reliable than you, I would not have believed the report

Well, it's good to be the go-to girl for the really important stuff. ;0)

Cassondra said...

Kate said:

Whew. Okay. I'm still shaking my head at the photograph of all the available colors.

You know, if you back off and squint so you can't see what they ARE, it's sort of pretty, isn't it? Rainbow-ish.

Cassondra said...

Dianna said:

Oh, for Christmas BF got me a Bass that fits over the ball and it wiggles it's tail when you stop. I love to fish so for Christmas he got me the bass and a small cooler for the boat filled with fishing supplies.

Oh, now there's a guy who was paying attention to what you like! Cool! I have not seen the fish that goes on the trailer hitch. I'll have to look for that one.

Suzanne Welsh said...

Okay, Cassondra, I guess The Toyota is female. She's dependable, keeps going (almost 130K miles), isn't flashy...and like classic rock.

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Cassondra said:
You are bringing up one fine husband for some lucky gal...

*bowint* thank you, thank you. Either that, or I'm prepping him to put a good therapist's kids through college. (All the fees he'll pay, you know. To straighten him out from how badly I've warped him. SNORK!)

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

That should have been BOWING

hrdwrkdmom aka Dianna said...

Cassondra said...
Oh, now there's a guy who was paying attention to what you like! Cool! I have not seen the fish that goes on the trailer hitch. I'll have to look for that one.


Oh yeah, he pays attention, he is thrilled to have someone to fish with.....LOL

Here you go
http://www.buyautotruckaccessories.com/browse.cfm/cf-bin/cmd.brands/q.hitch+critters/

danie88 said...

Keira Soleore- the GR and I hung out all day playing Guitar Hero 3 and watched movies with Gram (including Death Race). Along with a few house hold chores which he prefered to watch... I don't blame him lol Now we are currently in the process of making dinner. Though he's more interested in chasing one of my cats around. haha :D Go GR!

Virginia- he is currently still wearing the yellow peace sign shirt but i have no idea what happened to the pants... LOL

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Oh, my. The mental image of the GR in a peace sign and shirt with no pants...

Wait. The mental image of the GR in PANTS....

Boggles the mind. Really.

flchen1 said...

LOL! Is the GR willingly in those pants? :)

Cassondra said...

Suz said:

Okay, Cassondra, I guess The Toyota is female. She's dependable, keeps going (almost 130K miles), isn't flashy...and like classic rock.

AHA! Now you're getting into the spirit of it! Likes Classic Rock does she? Hmmm. I would have said "Marilyn" but since she isn't flashy......I dunno...Marge? Barb? C'mon Suz....dig into your inner SELF...FIND the spirit of you car!

Could she be a...MaryAnne?

Cassondra said...

Danie88 said:

Virginia- he is currently still wearing the yellow peace sign shirt but i have no idea what happened to the pants... LOL

Ah well..I see the GR is in great form as usual for this time in the evening...lost his britches has he? Well...I can't say that I'm surprised. As long as he still has his feathers at midnight all will be well.

Cassondra said...

Jeanne said:

Either that, or I'm prepping him to put a good therapist's kids through college.

Hey, all you can do is guess at the right thing to do, correct? That and drink a decent Riesling to dull the bite of fear.....

SO glad I'm not a mom...scary thing, that....

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

HA! It can be a scary thing. The Reisling DOES help though. Then again, so does the chardonnay, the Baileys, the Kalhua, etc.

Grins.

Especially with boys...

Pat Cochran said...

Just got to your blog posting for
today and just about fell out of my
chair! I called Honey away from his
computer and read it to him. We
laughed ourselves silly! He then
sent you a message: "Tell her my
truck is a steer!!"

Pat Cochran

Cassondra said...

Dianna said:

Oh yeah, he pays attention, he is thrilled to have someone to fish with.....LOL

Hey, I would be thrilled to have someone to fish with--and the time to fish! I haven't been fishing in nearly 20 years. I keep my fishing gear stashed in the garage, waiting....and waiting.... and....waiting.....

That's a great link. And at least they SAY that it's all about the humor. "Adding humor to the daily drive." Now I wanna see your trailer hitch fish flap its tail!

Cassondra said...

Flchen1 said:

LOL! Is the GR willingly in those pants? :)

Actually, if you get him drunk enough, I understand he'll wear---or NOT wear-- just about anything.....has a thing for Cuervo Gold. Hubba hubba.

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

*Note to self* Get Cuervo Gold.

Cassondra said...

Pat Cochran said:

He then
sent you a message: "Tell her my
truck is a steer!!"


Hey, tell him when I was a younger girl I turned a few bulls into steers all by myself. (blows on fingernails, buffs nails on shirt....)

Hey, I DID grow up on a farm....

Cassondra said...

Jeanne said:

Oh, my. The mental image of the GR in a peace sign and shirt with no pants...

Yeah. That one's been playing about the fringes of my consciousness since I first read it.

Hmmm. Wonder what size he wears?

Trish Milburn said...

See, I must have a dirty mind because when I saw the title of the post, I about lost it because I knew exactly what Cassondra was talking about. :)

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

See? We've corrupted Trish. She KNEW about Truck Nuts. Or is it that Trish was already corrupted and she's letting it out....bwah-ha-ha!

Cassondra said...

Jeanne said:

*Note to self* Get Cuervo Gold.

Careful there Duchesse. Have you heard that song?

Sorry, you'll have to cut and paste the link. I still haven't figured out how to hot link in the comments.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqv-2emERFw

Jo Nichols is a right pretty boy too.....

Cassondra said...

Trish Milburn said:

See, I must have a dirty mind because when I saw the title of the post, I about lost it because I knew exactly what Cassondra was talking about. :)

Actually it's probably from knowing me for longer than anybody else in the lair....which is kind of scary, but would give you more time to observe the strange workings of the inner mind of Cassondra.....

Cassondra said...

Jeanne said:

Or is it that Trish was already corrupted and she's letting it out....bwah-ha-ha!

THIS.

Trish Milburn said...

Har har har, Jeanne and Cassondra. (Trish gives you the squinty eye.) ;)

Cassondra said...

Trish said:

(Trish gives you the squinty eye.) ;)

Ain't Skeerd.

(grin)

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

I ain't skeert neether (she said, pretendin' to be brave), but I am LOL about you givin us the squinty eye...

Joan said...

Sorry for popping in late but I'm pooped from work. I skimmed the post and only realized you weren't talking about truck LOVERS...

Tomorrow when I'm awake I'm gonna LAUGH.....

My Camry had only recently been named Carla...mainly cause I just got her paid off and if she makes a squeak I stroke her and say "Hang in there girl...do NOT break down!"

My brother ALWAYS drives a truck. He doesn't have any...um HARDWARE hanging off of it but he is quick to correct me that it is NOT a car!

Cassondra said...

Joanie T said:

My brother ALWAYS drives a truck. He doesn't have any...um HARDWARE hanging off of it but he is quick to correct me that it is NOT a car!

Ha! He is RIPE....RIPE I SAY!....for a set of Truck Nuts. Now you know....what to get him for his Christmas Stocking next year. What color ...(or colour, as our Aussie friends would say) shall we be ordering for his Christmas stocking? Hmmmmmmm?

Cassondra said...

I'm off to bed now....gotta carry mail tomorrow. If you see any truck nuts, think of me....

Wait. That didn't sound quite right.

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Cassondra said: If you see any truck nuts, think of me....

Wait. That didn't sound quite right.


HAHAHAHA! NiteyNight Cassondra!

danie88 said...

so it's really late in the day and im just now thinking about this...

the person who came up with this idea... i honestly wanna know how they did... and who made the molding... its like they woke up one morning and thought... im gonna create balls for a car and sell them... now this person is making a lot of money right now that's for sure...

gosh that person's a genius... wish i would have thought of it... haha :D

NIGHT Cassondra!

J.K. Coi said...

My car's a girl because it's never broken down. :) I haven't named her, but she feels like a Dory to me ("Just keep swimming")

Keira Soleore said...

Jeanne said, "Oh, my. The mental image of the GR in a peace sign and shirt with no pants."

Cassondra said, "Yeah. That one's been playing about the fringes of my consciousness since I first read it. Hmmm. Wonder what size he wears?"


(Keira waving a flag of peace on the GR's behalf) Cassondra, you're not, repeat NOT, going to hang anything off the GR's neck, tail, or other sundry parts.

Danie, you had a mighty fine plan for the GR today. Lucky him!!

Pym is very pleased with you, Cassondra. He thanks you for the kiss of life.

Keira Soleore said...

Uhm, may I suggest that perhaps Truck Nuts might not be such a stellar idea for Bandita Booty?!

p226 said...

I'm late to this one. But seriously? Truck nuts? No way. Though, my wife did tell me that if I ever bought a minivan, she'd hang my ACTUAL ones from the rear-view mirror like fuzzy dice, since I clearly wouldn't be using them anymore.

My car? Male or female? I never gave it any consideration. It's fast. And like my bike, it sometimes tries to entice me into killing myself. There's just something about the sound of a v8 at the top of the tachometer that's ... I dunno. Sexy probably isn't the right word. Seductive though, yes. Enough so to send chills down my spine.

I dunno. I think both my car and bike are gender neutral and deadly. Like a rifle. I never named mine, even when required to do so.

Treethyme said...

I was working when I glanced at the column yesterday, reading the headings and bold type,and only came back to seriously read it this morning. I completely cracked up once I really got into it. Loved it!

We once had a cute little boy Fiat Millefiore named Oblio. Very few of our cars have declared their sexuality, or have had enough personality that we felt the urge to name it.

However, when my daughter was a teenager she became obsessed with the Backstreet Boys and since I was her designated chauffeur, I let her put some BSB bumper stickers on my car. Since the car had already lost any class it might have had, we started picking up random stickers and bumper stickers to those, and my daughter kept adding more BSB stuff until we officially named the car the Backstreetmobile. People would giggle over it when they saw it in parking lots (we saw them). When the Taurus became mine once my little Mercury Tracer wagon got traded in, the only stickers I allowed on it were college stickers! (But if I'd known about truck nuts, I might have bought a set of those babies for it!)

p226 said...

Oh... I just remembered, I *did* name one car. I had it when I was 17. We called it "The Shitmobile." Because of all the ... stuff that we did with and in that car. Most of it bad.

Cassondra said...

danie88 said:

gosh that person's a genius

Actually, I think they probably are. Or at least brave enough to say What the heck, let's give it a go!" I think bravery goes as far with this kind of thing as brains.

In any case, someone IS making money off of it, and we're all getting a good laugh. ;0)

Cassondra said...

Treethyme said:

When the Taurus became mine once my little Mercury Tracer wagon got traded in, the only stickers I allowed on it were college stickers! (But if I'd known about truck nuts, I might have bought a set of those babies for it!)

All RIGHT TREETHYME! Come in there with a positive vote for Truck Nuts! I knew there had to be at least ONE Bandita Buddy ballsy enough to...oh....uh....I mean...with enough attitude to potentially give these a try! ;0)

Cassondra said...

P226 said:

It's fast. And like my bike, it sometimes tries to entice me into killing myself.

Definitely a boy. Only guys do that "Hey, watch me do this!" and "Dude, you're so LAME if you don't try THAT!" to one another. Not many females try to get their friends to kill themselves. Not sane females anyhow. Definitely a boy car. Now, for a name.......FiftyCal?

Cassondra said...

P226 said:

Oh... I just remembered, I *did* name one car. I had it when I was 17. We called it "The Shitmobile." Because of all the ... stuff that we did with and in that car. Most of it bad.

Yup. I can see a bunch of younger guys naming a car that. (grin)

Cassondra said...

Keira said:

Pym is very pleased with you, Cassondra. He thanks you for the kiss of life.

He is most welcome! May the two of you grow old and happy together! ;0) I think old cars, like old dogs, are sometimes the best.

Cassondra said...

J.K. Coi said:

My car's a girl because it's never broken down. :) I haven't named her, but she feels like a Dory to me ("Just keep swimming")

Oh, Dory is a GREAT name for a car! And what personality!

Suzanne Welsh said...

Well, okay....I'd call her Annie

As in Annie Hart

Cindy said...

Ok you guys,
If they can hang their nuts on their trucks, what about this. I think we shoulg be able to hang our bra's or better yet, what fills these lovely victoria's secret pieces of art onto our cars, trucks, mini vans, bugs, or what ever you want to hang your very own set of bountiful, beautiful, boobie's saggy or not so saggy, nockers, utters, or utterlessly femineity onto. If your proud or bold,or just plain fun at heart. Maybe we are cursed or blessed with them. A man thinks this is what makes a woman beautiful, "shallow" ok they may be fun in bed but back to the fact at hand. No pun intended...I bet if we put boobies on our vehicle,
what ever mode of trasportation we use. Imagine this one. Woman in mini van pulled over by an officer of the law, for indecent exposier or how would he write it up? They are not real. Can you see this? The mini van Mom states "But officer, I really do not know how that blob of pinkish, brown mud color got on my soccer balls!" Note this, her fingers are crossed. This must be a joke ahh, can you imagine what he is calling in to the office? This woman is really either a brave, or crazy OMG, Does he cop a feel (yes a pun here)to see if she is serious about the mud or does he look around to see if someone is looking at him being amazed that this is really happening to him. By the way did he buy it and go on his way in nonbelief or did he take her in for having color in the center of her soccer balls? What do you think? Should we be granted the same equal rights to have our soccer balls go shirtless. Fair game,joke or reality. Life is...

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