When Things Go Boom

by Jo Robertson

I have a confession to make.

I enjoying watching things go boom – in movies, on television, in books – the bigger and louder, the better. This isn’t a very feminine admission, but there it is.

I know many women don’t. But, as Gaby, Jeffrey Donavan's somewhat crazy ex-girlfriend, says on BURN NOTICE, “Women find it sexy when things go boom.” Uh, she may not have been talking about bombs and missiles and firecrackers, but the principle’s the same.

When the newest James Bond (Daniel Craig) blows things up – cars, factories, people, it’s always the bad guys, and there’s something very satisfying about the evil-doers getting their comeuppance.

This liking things that go boom is a trait I share with teenaged boys, much to my chagrin. How do I know? Because when I finally find time to sneak off to the movies by myself (ironically, Dr. Big does not like things that go boom), I find myself surrounded by boys of all ages – teens, twenties, and thirties. There’s a heavy grunt of satisfaction that goes up from the audience whenever something blows up.

I do not join in. I have my standards.

Over a dozen years ago, my son, living in Guatemala at the time, mailed us a brick of firecrackers. The booty came by boat and somehow escaped customs' scrutiny. I think this is probably a felony, but I'm hoping the statute of limitations has run out on this particular act.

I wondered how all those lovely firecrackers would sound going off at once (with safety precautions, of course; I'm not entirely dimwitted). Dr. Big was shocked and soaked them in the bathtub for hours before he discarded them.

Spoilsport!

So I like when things go boom.

Now, this is not to say that I like car chases. In fact, I’m pretty annoyed with chases of any kind. They seem to be filler to me, something the director inserts to extend the length of the film or the writer to fill up the white space on the page.

Most chases are not realistic. Seriously. It’s surprisingly easy for cops to catch the bad guys.

The other night about five police cars raced down my street, sirens blazing. A police helicopter hovered overhead. I live in a fairly quiet, upper middle-class neighborhood, so this kind of night time activity is quite alarming. Apparently they were all chasing a poor felon on foot. I felt rather sorry for him. He had no chance of getting away.

The only good car chase scene I’ve ever watched is classic and in the Steve McQueen movie "Bullit." In the scene cars chase one another up and down the hilly San Francisco streets.

Best – and only good – car chase scene ever.

Back to explosions and such. I think I like them because there’s such a definitive conclusion to the issue. It’s the denouement of the story, the highly satisfying get-even-ness. Even when you know it’s coming, it’s warmly gratifying.

In a recent episode of TNT’s “Leverage” (with Timothy Hutton), the bad guys, who’d been using a Serbian orphanage as a cover for arms dealing, lost their money (and their armaments) to – yeah, a gigantic explosion. Ah, so gratifying.

What about you? Do you like explosions, car chases, or other scenes of mayhem and chaos in your books and movies? What’s the most exciting scene you’ve ever read or watched.

Or do you prefer the quiet contemplative Jane Austen-ish kind of scene where the villains get their just desserts in a less, uh, explosive way?