Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Nothing Can Touch This Party!
Welcome to my launch party! Whoo-hoo! I'm sure anyone who regularly visits the Banditas knows my second book UNTOUCHED comes out today! Yes, the Green Monster is poised like Godzilla to eat up shelf space in a bookshop near you. RRRRRAAAARRRRHHH! And maybe munch that pesky Golden Rooster that has abandoned me for colder climes in recent weeks. I'll show that mangy cockerel what it's like as a frozen chicken! Ha!
Anyway, back to the important stuff. As your hostess, I welcome you into the lair which is decorated with green streamers and beautiful pink roses (significant in the story - and yes, Christine, I know you recognize the reference. By the way, I love how you gloat, girlfriend! Makes me feel like teacher's pet!).
The menu is Boeuf en croute and roast chicken, both of which make an appearance in the story. Hmm, maybe the rooster did come to grief after all. And I've done my famous baked potatoes (Downundergirl will back me up here) in virgin olive oil. Yum! And lashings of champagne!
In the shadows, mysterious masked figures move around and dance to the pounding music. Of course, the song of the evening is You Can't Touch This!
Who could those masked figures be? Of course it's the Banditas!
This is Bandita party central! And weaving amongst the dancers are the real versions of Buffie's avatars! Oh, here comes the magnificent AC with her coterie of cabana boys! This party will make the New York Times social pages! I can see it now!
Cassondra, get me a shot of all this. NO, CASSONDRA, NOT THAT SORT OF SHOT! Ouch! There goes the chandelier! And what a pity Richard Armitage was hanging from it at the time. Excuse me while I take him outside for some first aid... No, no, I'm fine on my own, thank you. THANK YOU, I'M FINE ON MY OWN! Sheesh! That Vrai Anna, just because she's got the best shoes, she thinks she's got the right to steal my victim...uh, patient!
Tawny, all right, you have great shoes too! You should feel blaze-ay about that! Helen interrupts the argument about shoes to offer everyone a Tim Tam! Yum! They DON'T feature in the book, needless to say.
Goodness, is that Demetrius running through chased by Joanie? No, it's Joanie running through chased by Demetrius! Ah, thank goodness, we have our Regency specialists Keira and Madam CDW to add a note of Beau Monde decorum. Donna was meant to add the Victorian morals but she's in the corner painting something. Well, at least sable brushes are involved...
Who's that huddled in the corner? Could it be Kirsten and JoMama and Susan and Christie? Oh, no, now I know what happened to the other gladiators! Some things you just don't want in your subconscious! Nancy, help me! You're always a woman of sense. Oh, right. You're busy with the sable brushes and one of the cabana boys.
I tell you, where is the modern world going??!!
No point asking Jeanne and Kate and Beth. They're tying the avatar boys up and torturing them with feathers! I know this book starts with the heroine tied to a table, but really, girls, there's no need to enact the entire first chapter! And there's only one heroine and how many avatar boys have you got there???!!!
I look around for my last hope! KJ and Trish and Suz are dragging Pam forward to sing for us! At last some high culture! Oh, no, Doglady bursts into How Much Is That Doggy in the Window?
Caren, queen of the malapropism, has the last word - she calls the evening a in-your-farce sextragavanza!
Richard, take me away from all this!
Richard, where are you?
Sigh. I tell you, it doesn't take much to frighten the British male these days!
OK, enough of the silliness! There are prizes on the go! And I think anyone who has read to the end of this blog deserves a prize although sadly, my postage budget probably won't extend that far. There's a copy of UNTOUCHED on offer and consolation prizes of a couple of Anna Campbell desk calendars and signed coverflats. Just tell me about your fantasy party! Anything you like. Where? Who? How? Menu? Music? Ambience? My favorite answers win! Hurrah!
Hic! I'm off for some champagne before these wild bandits drink it all!!!
Happy release day, Grace and Matthew! May green be the color of the coming season!