Thursday, November 6, 2008

Robin Kaye Is In Da Lair!

posted by Aunty Cindy aka Loucinda McGary

We had a wonderful time yesterday hosting the lovely Tessa Radley, and today we are lucky enough to have another SUPER guest! I'm excited to welcome another of my "Casa Sisters" whose debut novel, a delightful contemporary romance, just hit the book stores on November 1st.

A very hearty Bandita HUZZAH to Robin Kaye!

RK: Hi Cindy and everyone here in the lair. Thanks for having me. I’ve never been in a lair before…bars, clubs, once I was even in a yurt, but never a lair. I like it.

AC: Ah yes, we had the cabana boys and gladiators up until all hours sprucing the place up just for you, Robin. Please tell us about your debut release Romeo, Romeo and your writing journey that ultimately led you to write about "…a man as good in the kitchen as he is in the bedroom."

RK: Independent businesswoman, Rosalie Ronaldi’s life would be perfect if she could just figure out how to keep her nosy, pushy, Italian family from trying to marry her off.

Nick Romeo, Brooklyn’s Donald Trump without the comb over, thinks independent women are an urban myth, until he meets Rosalie and realizes they’re no myth, just a pain in the ass. He’s finally met a woman who is looking for the same thing he is, a commitment free relationship and is shocked to discover that all he wants to do is take care of her... Before too long, he's moved in, cleaned her apartment, stocked her refrigerator, and adopted her dog.

I’ve always written, but it wasn’t until I moved to Maryland eight years ago that I started writing seriously.

Like every other female romance writer, I write about men I find attractive and in my book, there’s nothing more attractive to me than a man who is a Domestic God—someone who is as good in the kitchen as he is in the bedroom. Men who leave their socks and underwear on the floor and their dishes in the sink for me to clean aren’t the least bit sexy.

AC: EWWW! Aunty is in total agreement with that! What about your writing process? I know music plays an important part, but what kind of research or other methods do you use in creating your stories and characters?

RK: I do use music, I have a soundtrack for every book I’ve written, it keeps my head in the book and allows me to jump back in after an interruption, which happens more often than not. I’m one of those crazy busy people whose life is a series of interruptions. If it took me 20 minutes to get back into the story, I’d never get any writing done. I write where ever I am. I have a MacBook Air and even if I only have five minutes, I get it out and write.

As for research, I go to Brooklyn as often as possible to get my New York fix--there’s something about Brooklyn that stays with you long after you leave. I always have the subway map on hand as well as a map of Park Slope, photos, a good English/Italian dictionary, and my family on speed-dial.

AC: We love "Call Stories" here in the Lair. Please share yours with us.

RK: It was really an email. I had finaled in the Golden Heart which was a huge shock. When I found out, I scrambled and made plans to go to Nationals. The day I arrived in Dallas, I received an email from Deb Werksman an editor at Sourcebooks saying she’d read Romeo, Romeo and “LOVED it.”

Now I’d never heard of Sourcebooks before since they were new to romance so I went in not knowing what to expect. When we met, Deb began quoting her favorite lines to me, verbatim and to tell you the truth, I wondered about her sanity—I mean, what editor does that? It didn’t take me long to figure out she was in fact sane and just really loved Romeo, Romeo.

Unbeknownst to me, she’d requested a copy of Romeo, Romeo from RWA and had read the original version. When I realized what had happened, I told her that I’d spent the past few months rewriting it.

All the blood drained from her face. “What did you do?” she asked.

I filled her in on the changes I’d made and she said I was a genius. That’s when I handed her my cell phone and asked if she would mind calling my mother-in-law and telling her, she was so unaware. (Aunty rolls on floor in laughing fit while wishing she were so clever.)

Deb promised she’d send my MIL an email and made an offer. Romeo, Romeo was sold four days before I won the Golden Heart. It was an amazing time and an unbeatable conference.

AC(now recovered from laughing and in serious journalist mode): How has life changed or stayed the same for you now that you are a published author?

RK: Life has changed, but only some of that is because of publication. My kids are getting older and busier, so finding time to do everything is more and more of a struggle. But that’s my life—it’s a juggling act.

AC: Any pleasant (or maybe not so pleasant) surprises? Things you know now that you wish you'd known beforehand?

RK: The surprise for me was realizing how much time it takes to do the PR needed for a book launch. I’m enjoying it, but it’s severely cutting into my writing time.

As for what I wish I knew before hand…nothing that I can think of. I look at this as an adventure so I’m happy to take it one day at a time and enjoy the ride. It’s been great so far.

AC: What adventure is next for you?

RK: My next book in the Domestic Gods series Too Hot To Handle comes out this spring. I’m working on the third book. The working title is The Making of a Domestic God. I’m writing the book and praying the perfect title comes to me. Any ideas would be appreciated.

AC: What about short term or long term goals?

RK: Short term goals is to finish the next book.
(Aunty can totally identify with this one!)

Long term is just keep doing what I’m doing, writing two or three books a year, and enjoying my family. I really love my life, and except for maybe adding a bit more family time, I wouldn’t change a thing.

AC: Any advice for the AYU (as yet unpublished) writers here in the Lair?

RK: I can only say what helped me. I entered contests. I targeted agents, editors, and houses, and only entered the contests they were judging. I got several requests by doing that. Then I entered the Golden Heart and was lucky enough to sell to one of the final judges. I know I’m really lucky.

The other thing I’d suggest is to go to conferences and meet people. Put yourself out there. I’ve found myself talking to a total stranger and then realized she or he was an editor, agent, or writer I loved. Chitchatting has gotten me requests from editors, agents, and it even got me a cover quote.

AC: Thanks so much for visiting us today Robin. You'll find plenty of chitchat and chocolate and umbrella drinks... But first, let's ask a question!

Robin and I agree that a man who leaves dirty clothes and dishes
around for someone else to clean up is NOT sexy, but one who cooks and cleans definitely IS sexy.

What makes a man sexy in your opinion?

One lucky commenter will receive a copy of Robin's debut release Romeo, Romeo. Let's get this party started!

52 comments:

Elyssa Papa said...

The GR is back in my coop.

Elyssa Papa said...

What a great interview! I've been hearing lots of great things about this book. Your call story is fantastic . . . does it still seem a bit surreal to be published?

From the working title, I have a sense the guy might be a little bit of a bad boy or am I wrong?
I think to really offer any title suggestions for your third book that we need to know a little bit more about it. Hint, hint. *g*

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Wow Ely!
You and the GR are getting to be quite the item. So what is YOUR secret for snagging him so often?

Maybe when Robin's very own domestic god awakens her with coffee in bed, we'll get the low down on her upcoming releases. ;-)

AC

Fedora said...

Hi, Robin! Congrats on Romeo, Romeo and thank you for sharing that terrific call story! Oh, and also huge congratulations on having snagged your own DG--what a keeper!!

Thoughtfulness and a good amount of confidence are very sexy, in my opinion. Also, there's something very sexy about skill (and not merely confidence)--when someone is doing something that s/he's really good at, that's really extremely attractive, whether it's fighting fires or flipping pancakes or formatting a hard drive :)

Congrats on the GR, Elyssa!

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hey Fedora,
You are so right about the sexiness of confidence and skill! A couple of years ago, our garbage disposal went KAPUT! I started to freak out, but the DH had it replaced in a couple of hours. OOOOO! Be still my heart!

AC

Helen said...

Congrats Elyssa have fun with him

Great interview Ladies I am really looking forward to reading this book.

I think a guy is sexy if he is caring and has a wonderful sense of humour as well as being a man of honour but I gotta say someone who cooks and cleans as well would be a dream come true.

Congrats on the release Robin and thanks Aunty Cindy for inviting Robin to the lair.

Have Fun
Helen

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Helen,
I meant to tell you earlier how much I LIKE your new avatar!

I agree, a caring man with a great sense of humor is VERY sexy!

AC

Minna said...

What makes a man sexy in your opinion?
The ability to help me with stuff where I'm not good -be that maths or computers- without making me feel myself like a complete idiot.

Miljoonasade: Marraskuu (November):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccpaaZvDL1k

Donna MacMeans said...

Hi Robin! Welcome to the lair. You must be the woman I saw in Dallas walking on air - what a fantastic call story!

The ability to laugh at oneself is definitely sexy, as well as competence in some area and a level head in a stressful situation. Must say I like the sound (and look) of your hero in Romeo, Romeo.

jo robertson said...

Whoooohoooo, Robin, welcome to the Lair. Your debut book sounds delightful. I love the premise.

Hmmm, a man who can cook would be ideal for me. Unfortunately, my husband's idea of "cooking" is opening cans or popping something in the microwave. Sigh!

But next would be a man who's handy at repairing things. You know, the kind of fellow who can fix anything, figure anything out. Yeah, that's pretty sexy.

Maureen said...

For me a guy is sexy when he puts his family first even when he doesn't really want to.

Deb Marlowe said...

Hi Robin!

It was a delight to meet you and your own domestic god in San Francisco! I've been looking forward to your book, so glad it's here!

I'm with the consensus on this one--a man with can laugh, and make me laugh is so appealing. My own dh is amazingly handy around the house and I find that incredibly sexy, as well as convenient. :-)

Robin Kaye said...

Good morning all~

Wow, you guys get started early! Aunty Cindy warned me that things heat up early in the lair.

Elyssa~ Being published does seam surreal. The first time I saw my book, I hadn't expected it. I was walking through the Literary signing in San Francisco last summer at Nationals and I looked down, and there was my book. It was an Advanced Readers Copy that had been delivered to the signing instead of the librarians luncheon, but I didn't know that. All I knew was that they had my name-plate there, my books beautifully displayed and I was an hour late! That night, I slept with a copy under my pillow and every time I'd wake up wondering if I dreamed it all, I'd reach under my pillow and feel for the book. Then I'd spend an hour trying to get back to sleep.

The Making of a Domestic God is about a Rich Ronaldi, the only son of a very Italian family. He's always been treated like the second coming by his mother (like most Italian sons), he'd been waited on all his life, and when he left home, his girlfriends took over.

He's just moved back to Brooklyn after leaving New Hampshire and a dream professorship because he'd mistakenly and unknowingly dated his Dean's adult daughter and had broken her heart. He's taken a position at Columbia and is trying to prove himself to his new Dean who thinks Rich needs to settle down. Settling down had been Rich's plan until he was dumped by his girlfriend with whom he'd had a very successful long-distance relationship. Unfortunately, she wasn't interested in a full-time very close relationship.

Rich begs his sisters best friend, Becca, to go with him to a faculty function as his girlfriend. Trying to impress the dean, Rich makes himself out to be a Domestic God like the Dean and Rich's two brothers-in-law. He comes up with a plan to impress the Dean and possibly win back his ex-girlfriend. The problem is Rich is the anti-domestic god. He enlists Becca's help goes on a crash corse to become a domestic god.

Becca, on the other hand, can't believe Rich is willing to go through all this for a woman or anyone. She grudgingly takes on the job but isn't above having a good time with it, sometimes at Rich's expense. The thing she didn't expect was how much she liked Rich which was a problem since she was whipping him into shape so he could win the heart of another woman...

So there you have the bare bones of my untitled book. Any ideas?

Fedora~ I hear you! My DG can build or fix anything and looks awful good in a tool belt!

Thanks for the warm greeting. I'll stop back again soon.

Robin :)

Terry Odell said...

I think a man who can make me laugh is sexy. And a man who does the unexpected little things -- things that shows he listens and pays attention.

Robin Kaye said...

Deb~

It's great to see you again!

I agree with all of you when it comes to what makes a man sexy. A good sense of humor, someone who puts his family first, someone who is kind and caring. And to me there's nothing sexier than a man who is as good in the kitchen as he is in the bedroom.

Robin :)

Margay Leah Justice said...

This sounds like such a fun read!

Marie Force said...

Great interview my fellow CasaBabes! Romeo Romeo is fabulous. You will love it!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Robin! Your book sounds great -- I want to know if there will be any time management techniques in there. I mean, this guy is the Donald Trump of Brooklyn and still finds time to cook and clean for the heroine? I love it! I need me some of those skills!! Seems like in today's business world, neither heroine NOR hero knows how to clean or cook. Definitely liability when they get together. ;-)

The making of a domestic god sounds like great fun as well. And I'm just thrilled to see straight contemporaries doing well! I hate when I hear they won't sell because I love to read them. You go girl!

Louisa Cornell said...

Hey, Elyssa, people are starting to talk! You and Fedora and the GR. Hmmmm.

Robin the books sounds like a blast. I love a man who can cook!

My late DH was supportive, he was my biggest fan. He came into our marriage just assuming we would share the household chores because we both worked. Gotta love that! He had a dry wit, with a genius IQ who looked at the world as a source of constant amusement. He wasn't terribly handy, but he had friends who were and he didn't hesitate to call them.


And how about this for a title, Robin?

Extreme Domestic God Makeover

or

My Fair Domestic God (as in My Fair Lady)

Joan said...

Welcome to the lair, Robin!

My idea of a sexy man?

Well, it doesn't involve dirty clothes on the floor.

It doesn't involve dirty clothes ON him.

Frankly, it doesn't involve clothes at all :-)

Can't wait to read Romeo,Romeo

Leslie said...

Wonderful interview! Congrats on your new release Robin!

I find a man sexy when he listens to me. You know, actually takes part in the conversation. More than just the grunts and one word answers. lol

Also a man who gets my weird sense of humor and likes to laugh. And the ability to cook would definitely be a plus!

Rebekah E. said...

Thanks for the great interview. I will agree with the cooking, my husband is an amazing cook. I remember a time my kids wouldn't eat anything unless daddy cooked it. I guess they always assumed mine would be bad so they wouldn't touch it.

I also like humor and confidence. They definitely have to have those.

CrystalGB said...

Great interview. For me, what a makes a guy sexy is when a man is confident without being arrogant, has a good sense of humor and a caring, giving soul.

Terri Osburn said...

Great interview, AC and welcome Robin! What a great call story. I can't imagine all that good stuff happening so fast. The GH final, the request, the sale, the win. Holy jeepers, that's fantastic! And now the book on the shelves. Congrats all the way around!

I agree with everything said so far. I've been lucky enough to meet a guy who fits these descriptions pretty well. Now, fingers crossed I can keep him. :)

I'm adding this book to my TBB list for the weekend. And since the hero of my own WIP is a chef, I can write this one off as research. LOL!

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Hi Robin! *Waving madly* Welcome to the Lair, it's always cool to have a fellow Washington Romance Writers pal over here. :> (Did you keep your card from Romance Jeopardy? Hmmmm?)

So excited about Romeo, Romeo. Not that I need one. more. book. on the TBR pile which is threatening the stability of the floorboards, but hey, I can't resist a title like that or a premise that brings sexy to useful! Snork!

What's sexy to me? Laughter. Interest. Focus. Drive. And hey, being able to cook it pure cherry on top, if'n ya' know what I mean! :>

My fabulous DH is a great cook. He's the Weekend Morning Chef - coffee cakes and homemade waffles and pancakes...YUM! and is fabulous on the grill. I cannot wait until he retires. I'm retiring from the kitchen the very next day. (I'm retiring as homework Nazi too, BTW)

Elyssa, you are one hot chick, I'm tellin' ya'. That GR, boy he's loving your coop for sure! Grins.

Robin, again, WELCOME!! (Here, have a cocktail. Sven will be by to rub your shoulders in a minute. He's here for all our special guests.)

M. said...

What a fab concept for a series, 'domestic gods'. I salute Robin for coming up with the concept, since I've done 'research' for many years now, married to a man with domestic god tendencies (he hasn't quite reached full god status, given that he's great with handiwork, cooking, changing diapers, and all the outside stuff like garden and windows - but he is still terrible about laundry. Those dropped socks? Yep. I still pick them up) and it never occured to me to write it into a MS! Kudos, Ms. Kaye.

Hellie Sinclair said...

Domestic skills are great, I agree. But what always makes men sexy for me is that look they give, that's just between the two of you--your little secret--and it's the "woman-eating, let's get naked" grin. I love that look, I love that grin.

And that's all it takes.

They can even leave their socks on the floor.

Pat Cochran said...

A sexy man, for me, is my Honey who
loves the me I was and the me I am
today, warts and all! He's been there for me since the evening we
met forty-nine years ago!

Pat Cochran

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Wooohooo Pat! 49 years? That ROCKS!! That right there is sexy, that after that long he's still YOUR guy. :>

Grins.

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Morning Everyone!
(Aunty rubs sleep from her eyes)

Thanx for coming out to party with Robin and share all these great ideas about what truly is sexy. A wry sense of humor rates VERY HIGH on my list too.

And one can never fail to lurve a man who can give a massage... Oh Sven??? You sexy Swedish hunk! Aunty has a kink... In MY NECK, People! It's too early yet for any others. ;-)

AC

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Morning Robin!

How bout a mimosa to start the day? Oh cabana boys! Break out the orange juice and bubbly. :-)

Your current WIP sounds like a HOOT! What about Domestic God In Training? or Domestic God Under Construction?

OOOO! I LIKE Louisa's suggestion of a Domestic God Makeover, too!

AC

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

WOOO HOOO! Super Congrats to you and your Honey, Pat! 49 years and still going strong, what a wonderful inspiration for all of us!

And WTG Terrio on finding a possible DG candidate! Nice to know there are still a few out there. If he truly is DG material, then he will be smart enough to know what a jewel he's found in YOU! Now GET TO WORK on the WIP! We wanna see your name in those contest finals.

AC

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hmmm, Hellion and Joanie do I sense a clothing optional trend here?

On the cabana boys and gladiators MAYBE, but Aunty is shivering in her bucket boots this morning thankyouverymuch. Can we get a fire started in the fireplace?

And Terry and Leslie, have you actually discovered that most rare of sub-species? A MAN who listens???? I've heard rumors of their existence but have personally never encountered one. :-P

AC

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Well, AC, have to give my DH kudos once again for being that needle-in-a-haystack rare guy who DOES listen! :> He's fab.

I'm with you on the fireplace though. let's fire it up. It's actually warmer here today, but it's damp. I feel it in my bones kinda damp. Urg. Where are the matches?

ArkieRN said...

LOL! Before I clicked over to the comments, I wanted to say how I find a man who listens is sexy. And I found out I am not alone.

Jane said...

Congrats on the GR, Elyssa.

Welcome Robin,
Congrats on your debut release. I think smart and funny men are sexy. I love Jon Stewart and Conan O'Brien. They're not the most gorgeous men, but they're so attractive because of their intelligence and personality. Me and Aunty Cindy agree that Eric Bana is the sexiest.

Helen said...

All the suggestions for a Hero put together would make some kind fantastic Hero LOL

Aunty Cindy the new aviater is a photo of Anna Campbell Annie West and myself when I saw them last week what a great evening that was

I was lucky enough to win a copy of Romeo Romeo and am really looking forward to reading it. I have read some wonderful Source books over the past few months you Ladies write a great story.

Have Fun
Helen

Elyssa Papa said...

My secret for nabbing the GR is that I feed him . . . and supply him with liquor. *g*

Robin, I love the story for the Domestic God. I actually like the title you have because it's so fitting. But here are some others:

The Naked Chef (lol)
Becoming Mr. Perfect
Third Time's the Charm (have no idea that this will fit but the title popped up in my head)

But I do think your working title is perfect for the book.

Christie Kelley said...

Sorry everyone! I'm the reason Robin hasn't been around commenting. I met Robin for coffee and, believe it or not, we lost track of time gabbing.

But on the plus side, she gave me my NJ Golden Leaf award that she'd picked up for me. So I guess I can admit it's real now!

Anonymous said...

What makes a man sexy? Hmmm, I would have to say that a sexy man is one that values the little things- flowers for no reason, a call in the middle of the day, holding hands in the grocery store, cuddling on the couch. Actions speak louder than words, although I like the words too. I also like having a man that doesn't need to be told what and when all the time. If he can do the dishes because the sink in full or take out the trash-yeah! Nothing is worse than a man that really is just that third child for you to mother- ugh! Thankfully my guy is more of a DG:)
Anna

Buffie said...

Hey ladies!!! Did ya miss me??! Life was just moving way too darn fast and I couldn't get my blog fix at all! But now I have things somewhat under control (well as controlled as chaos can be).

Love, love, love the interview. Robin that is one great call story. Did she ever email your MIL? I sure hope she did for your sake :)

I have to say that I can't wait to read this book.

As far as what makes a man sexy . . . well there are just too many things to say. But I'll tell you what attracted me to my hubby. It was he dark eyes, his lopsided smile, and the wink he threw me. Of course the cute butt in the tight blue jeans sure helped a heck of alot!!! LOL

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

Hey Buffie! Welcome back, we missed you and your fab avatars. :>

Robin Kaye said...

Hi everyone~

I'm back! I ran home after coffee with Chris which was so much fun. I love delivering awards. I think I'll make it my new hobby. Congratulations again, Chris!

I got home and had to take off for parts north to drop off a kidlet for a weekend of dance. I made it back in a record four hours! I'm just lucky the PA and MD police were scarce.

I love the title ideas, I'll email them to my editor and see what the powers that be say. Keep them coming ladies! I'm so bad with titles.

I concur with everyones ideas of what makes a man sexy, but I think this is my favorite so far was mshellion's:

"..that look they give, that's just between the two of you--your little secret--and it's the "woman-eating, let's get naked" grin. I love that look, I love that grin."

It put a smile on my face just thinking about it. Looks like that make me melt.

I'm off to cook dinner. I'll check back later.

Robin :)

Beth Andrews said...

Welcome to the lair, Robin! Congrats on Romeo, Romeo - it sounds fantastic!

What makes a man sexy to me? Definitely confidence and a sense of humor (so the confidence doesn't turn to arrogance *g*)

Thanks for a great interview, ladies :-)

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hi again everyone!

Sorry I went AWOL for awhile, but had a @#%&@ doctor appointment and you know those are NEVER on time. :-(

Hey Buffie! We have missed you! Oh Sven, give our BB a wee bit of a foot massage.

OOO Jane, you are so right! You and Me and Eric B! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He's tall, dark and gorgeous and with a wicked sense of humor, but one of the things I find the most appealing about him is his obvious devotion to his family. Same goes for my number 2 Lust Object -- Hugh Jackman.

AC

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

S&A Anna,
WTG on finding your own DG!

And we KNEW your DH was that needle in a haystack kinda guy, Duchesse. Coz he was smart enough to snag YOU!

ArkieRN, hope you found one that listens too. Maybe it's something in the environment here in California? Men who listen are definitely scarce on the ground around here. :-(

AC

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Helen,
Looks like you and Fo and Annie had a GREAT TIME. Sure wish we could have all been there.

And speaking of a fun time... NO FAIR Christie, stealing our guest of honor away for a fun coffee chat! But HOORAY on getting your award for the Golden Leaf win. GET THAT NEWS ON THE SIDEBAR, Bandita! Don't make me get the crop after you!

AC

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

ROFL Elyssa at your Naked Chef title!

I'm not good with titles either, but here's a tag line for you Robin... "Not all men are born Domestic Gods. Some need to be tutored."

Thanx to everyone for partying with us today!

AC

Unknown said...

I can say one thing I don't have a sexy man because I have to pick up after him all the time. The older he gets the worse he is about not doing things for his self and right now it is about to drive me crazy. I think a man that helps his wife is sexy.

Robin Kaye said...

Hi everyone~

I'm back after a wonderful dinner. I'm usually driving at this hour so it's rare that I get to cook and have a nice family dinner. It was great.

I agree with Virginia! A man who picks up after himself and picks up after me too is not only sexy, he's worth his weight in gold!

Aunty, I wanted to thank you again for having me in the lair. What a great time!

Elyssa~ I'm loving the title Becoming Mr. Perfect. I hope my editor loves it too.

I'll check back in a little bit. I hope everyone is having a good day!

Robin :)

Caffey said...

Hi Robin! So nice to meet you! That cover is awesome. I'd love having that kind of breakfast in bed :D Congrats on your first release and many more to come!!!

I think a great listener with great eye contact makes for a sexy hero. I love to read their love and more in their eyes and face!

hrdwrkdmom aka Dianna said...

I am late chiming in here but I am a firm believer in laughter as a great equalizer. If you have humor you can manage anything else.