The Do’s and Don’ts of Conferences

by Most of the Banditas

You’ve all heard the do's and don’ts of conferences, like don’t slip the manuscript under the toilet stall to an agent or editor. We decided to give you our own list of do's and don'ts:

Don’t meet your publisher with a riding crop in your hand.

Don’t mess with AC when she’s holding the riding crop in her hand.

If you must stand on someone’s foot, try to make sure it’s not the Director of Publicity at your publisher.

Don’t believe your friends when they tell you you really don’t need to wear the Spanx with those pants.

Try not to laugh out loud when some asks “Who’s Nora?”

Don’t dress in costume. Not even if you’re promoting a book. Just…don’t. Okay?

Dressing in costume does not include Victorian riding hats, corset purses or rooster puppets. That’s TOTALLY different.

Don’t forget your camera so that you too can have potential blackmail material.

Don’t lose track of the GR…he gets totally out of control.

Now the do’s:

Do break out the bling for your publisher party. Especially if they’re sending the limo for you.

Do check the rear view before you leave the room: hair, pantylines, the whole shebang. Everyone will thank you.

Do call all your Banditas who are not at conference (AHEM! Jo, Tawny, Kirsten, Cassondra) and leave loud, semi-intelligible messages on their phones.

If you are a missing Bandita, answer your darned phone when we call!

Do cause a scene as sixteen rowdy Banditas all try to shout into the same cell phone at the bar.

Do pile into a bed with the Golden Rooster at every opportunity. Especially if someone is taking pictures. (Right Michelle B.?)

Do accept chocolates from whomever offers them. Even strangers.

Do eat all of PJ’s chocolates, especially the turtles.

Eating half your body weight in chocolate or GR cake is a perfectly acceptable substitute for dinner.

Yes, we are definitely having too much fun! Anyone else have any conference do’s and don’ts?

**sniff** **sniff** Is that…prairie dog? Hmmmmmmm.