Friday, July 17, 2009

The Do’s and Don’ts of Conferences

by Most of the Banditas

You’ve all heard the do's and don’ts of conferences, like don’t slip the manuscript under the toilet stall to an agent or editor. We decided to give you our own list of do's and don'ts:

Don’t meet your publisher with a riding crop in your hand.

Don’t mess with AC when she’s holding the riding crop in her hand.

If you must stand on someone’s foot, try to make sure it’s not the Director of Publicity at your publisher.

Don’t believe your friends when they tell you you really don’t need to wear the Spanx with those pants.

Try not to laugh out loud when some asks “Who’s Nora?”

Don’t dress in costume. Not even if you’re promoting a book. Just…don’t. Okay?

Dressing in costume does not include Victorian riding hats, corset purses or rooster puppets. That’s TOTALLY different.

Don’t forget your camera so that you too can have potential blackmail material.

Don’t lose track of the GR…he gets totally out of control.

Now the do’s:

Do break out the bling for your publisher party. Especially if they’re sending the limo for you.

Do check the rear view before you leave the room: hair, pantylines, the whole shebang. Everyone will thank you.

Do call all your Banditas who are not at conference (AHEM! Jo, Tawny, Kirsten, Cassondra) and leave loud, semi-intelligible messages on their phones.

If you are a missing Bandita, answer your darned phone when we call!

Do cause a scene as sixteen rowdy Banditas all try to shout into the same cell phone at the bar.

Do pile into a bed with the Golden Rooster at every opportunity. Especially if someone is taking pictures. (Right Michelle B.?)

Do accept chocolates from whomever offers them. Even strangers.

Do eat all of PJ’s chocolates, especially the turtles.

Eating half your body weight in chocolate or GR cake is a perfectly acceptable substitute for dinner.

Yes, we are definitely having too much fun! Anyone else have any conference do’s and don’ts?

**sniff** **sniff** Is that…prairie dog? Hmmmmmmm.


Tawny said...

Whaaaahhhhhh. I LOVE that cake and AM missing you all and OMG it looks like you're having such a GREAT time!!!

Who got the limo ride? Gotta know, just gotta.

Helen said...

Tawny you got him what are you making him do today?

Hi Guys you are all having so much fun and I am loving hearing about it love that cake and PJ's tutles make sure you all have some for me.

Keep having fun and keep us up to date the more pictures the better.

Have Fun

Kirsten said...

Oh man, I swear I would have picked up the phone if I could!! Damn it!

I love getting drunk dialed! :-)

Tawny said...

Helen, the Rooster will be packing yet again, today. Its our last packing day before the moving truck shows up and I think that wile bird needs to work off some of the cake I'm sure he overindulged in ;-)

Virginia said...

Congrats Tawny, work him hard today!

Love the post and the do's and don't! You ladies have a great time and keep us posted on up dates!

Cassondra said...

OMG! I've never been drunk dialed before!

Okay that's not true.

There was a guy at some bar who had my number mixed up with somebody else's and called me at 1 in the morning like five nights in a row until I threatened to call the police on him.

But I've NEVER been drunk dialed by anybody I love before!!!!

I got drunk dialed!

But I didn't recognize the number so I waited for the message and called back and it was JOANIE T and the BANDITS!

I wish I was there. *sniff*

I'm so glad you're having a good time.

But this Prairie Dog nonsense....what is up with THAT?

I sense that there will be a blog about this in the future.

And Michelle B was in BED WITH THE GOLDEN ROOSTER??????

Film at eleven. (evil grin)

Cassondra said...

Can y'all see that cake?

It says, "You know you want me."

The GR has on a cape and mask!


What's he up to? >:O

Christie Kelley said...

Hi Tawny, You'll have to ask Suz about the limo ride.

Keep track of that GR, he's a wild boy.

Christie Kelley said...

Hi Helen!

PJ's turtles were fantastic!

Christie Kelley said...

Kirsten, we're about to give up on you! Two drunk dials and no's just not right.

Christie Kelley said...


Packing will be very good for the GR. He really needs to work off a lot of cake.

Christie Kelley said...

Hi Virginia! We are having a great time but we're really missing the Banditas that couldn't make it.

Christie Kelley said...

Cassondra, it was so great talking to you last night! It's just not the same without you.

Hmm, not quite sure about that prairie dog thing...

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

We miss you too, TD!!! Helen, you have GOT to come to conference somtime...or maybe we'll all come to Oz for THEIR conference. Wouldn't that frighten them half to death? :>

The prairie dog is DEF a story! OMGosh.

And the limo ride for JT and Suz? Another story.

And we have to talk about Linda Howard's "inspirational speech" about nuts. BTW? There was much spewage of tea during said lunch,.

jo robertson said...

Hilarious, Christie and D.C. Banditas! Ya'll are having WAAAAAYYYY too much fun in the nation's capitol.

Cake looks yummy and I'm so sad I'm not with you.

The drunk-dialing message went to my cell phone which has been off for several days. Ahem, some of us are working deep in the cave!

Love you guys and miss you terribly!

Jeanne (AKA The Duchesse) said...

We miss you too Jo! And Kirsten! And Tawny! And Cassondra! *POUT!*

Who else are we missing? Oy! Everyone on the blog. :>

PJ's choco turtles are a serious danger to the waistline, BTW.

And oh, my, the cake...ANOTHER story...

Gannon Carr said...

Partying with the Banditas is one of the highlights of the conference! As are PJ's chocolates! Plus, I got Tim Tams from Foanna....and I'm not sharing! *g*

Miss all you Banditas who can't be with us. Hope to see you next year!

Julia Smith said...

'Don’t believe your friends when they tell you you really don’t need to wear the Spanx with those pants.' - LOL!

Pissenlit said...

Hee hee hee! Michelle B. in the bed with the Golden Rooster. It's like Clue!(or Cluedo depending on where you live)

Christie Kelley said...

Gannon, I finally tried a Tim Tam at the bash and they are yummy!!!

Christie Kelley said...

Julia, we each took turns coming up with our words of wisdom. I'll let you guess which Bandita came up with that one.

Christie Kelley said...

Pissenlit, it is like Clue. That's what google is for.

Pissenlit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pissenlit said...

Christie Kelley - I finally tried a Tim Tam at the bash and they are yummy!!!

ARGH!!! I keep hearing about Tim Tams and I keep hearing that they're absolutely awesome and I've even heard(online) that they have been found in one or two grocery stores in my city under the name, "Arnott's Biscuits"...but I've still never come across them! "Try Tim Tams" have made it to my To-Do-Before-I-Die List...LMAO!

Trish Milburn (Tricia Mills) said...

I'm so sorry I missed this group Bandita blogging. Where the heck was I?!

Christie Kelley said...

Pissenlit, I've seen Arnott's Biscuits in my grocery store but I didn't know they were the same! I will check them out when I get home.

Joan said...

Where the heck was I?!

Ahem...under the table....

Don't worry though...we got pictures :-)

Doh dum doh....Prairie Dog....doh dum de doh

Pat Cochran said...

Just wanted to say that you are missed, ladies! But Tawny, Cassondra, Jo, Kirsten, Virginia, & all are keeping the Lair going! Including keeping the lanterns lighted for you! Speaking of Tim Tams, I just remembered that I still have a handful of them in my freezer. They are from the package I won from an Anna Campbell contest. Lovely prize!
Looking forward to seeing our
Banditas soon!! Drunk dialed??

Pat Cochran

limecello said...

Awe, too cute - great post, and it sounds like all of you Banditas at RWA are having almost more fun than you should! ;)

Blodeuedd said...

Haha, love those :)
You all are sure having fun, I wish I could be there