Monday, June 27, 2011

The OTHER Men in My Life

posted by Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy

Yes, we all have them. In addition to friends, family, and significant others, we all have other important relationships in our lives. I'm talking about relationships with certain professionals... AHEM! Like your doctor, your plumber, or your mechanic! If you are very lucky, you find excellent people in these important professions and develop long-term relationships with these individuals.

I feel fortunate to have developed three such long-term relationships. One of them has been going on even longer than my relationship with the DH! Oh, and all three of them happen to be men. They are my dentist, my hairdresser, and my mechanic. They are the "other men" in my life and I couldn't get by without them.

Until a couple of years ago, my longest relationship with any man was with my dentist. I know, I know, everyone HATES going to the dentist, but that's because they didn't go to Ben. I don't exactly remember how I happened to start going to Ben's office. I think it was because he was in the same office complex as my son's orthodontist. Yes, it was THAT long ago... the mid 1980s.

Ben was a few years older than me, his middle daughter was the same age as my son, and his wife worked with him part-time as a hygienist. Ben and his office staff were friendly and did their jobs very well. I actually didn't mind going to the dentist because it was almost like going to see family members. They were always happy to see me and usually in good moods. Then, a couple of years ago, Ben did the unthinkable -- he retired and sold his practice! ACK!!! Yes, I even got invited to his retirement party because I'd been his patient for sooo long (my file was so old and thick that it was held together with duct tape). But I told him I was never going to forgive him for retiring on me! Never mind that *I* had retired from my day job first...

Now I go to the dentist who bought Ben's practice. I call him "Baby Dentist" because he is younger than my son. In fact he and ALL his staff look like they are fresh out of high school! Don't get me wrong, he is an excellent dentist and his staff are all quite nice, they just make me feel SO OLD!

My second oldest lasting relationship started in 1988 -- the year before I met my DH. My new BFF recommended I try her hairdresser. I did, and I've gone to Guy ever since! When we first met he was young, single and a big party-boy. I followed him to three different salons, through his marriage and the birth of his two kids, and a few years ago, his venture into opening his own business. He has been an enthusiastic beta-reader for all my manuscripts. Last year I helped him celebrate his son's acceptance to UCLA on a full athletic scholarship. Two weeks ago, we celebrated his daughter's graduation from high school.

Guy knows where more than a few of my skeletons are hidden and I know the same about him. Thank goodness he's a few years younger than me because after all this time I can't imagine anyone else cutting my hair! If he ever retires, I'll probably just start shaving my head.

I was actually introduced to the last "other man" in my life by my DH. No, this is not as kinky as it sounds! It was 1990 and I was filled with frustration over taking my car to the dealership to have it worked on. They were slow, I didn't trust them, and their 'customer service' was non-existent. The DH said, "Take it to my mechanic, Dwayne." So I did, and it was the start of a wonderful relationship!

Dwayne is as honest as the day is long. He will tell you how long something will take, how much it is going to cost, and he usually finishes earlier and cheaper. He will also tell you if something is not worth fixing (this happened more than once with my son's old clunkers). Also more than once, I've showed up at Dwayne's shop with my car on the tow truck's hook, five minutes before he was due to go home, and he stayed open, not just to get the car inside, but also to wait for the DH or my son to come pick me up! A true gentleman, he would never leave a lady stranded in an industrial strip mall, which is where his shop is located.

Dwayne is a few years older than me, and I live in fear that he will retire and leave me in the lurch! However, he is also one of those guys who is only happy when he is elbow deep under the hood of a car. To my knowledge, he has never taken a vacation. If he ever does retire, I may have to start using regional transit!

So now you know my secret... I have three OTHER men in my life who are all essential! I've known them all for decades and truly appreciate not only their professional expertise but their friendship.

Do you have some long-term relationships in your life, besides your family members or spouse? Please share who they are, what they do, and how you met them.


Jane said...

Hi Aunty Cindy,
My ear doctor has been treating me since I was a kid. He was treating my mom for her sinus problems before she had me. I get a lot of ear infections and so I still see him from time to time. I can see him retiring in a few years and I don't know what I'm going to do. I've used other doctors, but none have measured up.

marybelle said...

I have THE best tradesmen in the business on speed dial. I have had the same Electrician & Plumber since I moved to town over 20 years ago. In fact I am on the 2nd generation with the Plumber. I ring & they come the same day. If it is an emergency (MY definition of emergency)they 'send the boys over' or drop everything & come over right away. My friends can't believe it. I know it is because I respect them & what they do & I pay VERY promptly.

Helen said...

Well done Jane have fun with him

Aunty Cindy

We have been going to the same Doctor for 27 years now and yes both of them brothers John and Paul.
Paul is semi retired now although both of them are a bit younger than I am so now we see John all the time he is OK but he really does like to chat when you go visit him LOL.
Our mechanic is also very good and we have been seeing them for about 20 years now although the father has retired the son Daniel is very good honest and reliable.
Other than these two i don't have a regular plumber or electrician and my dentist is a Lady Tania and she is very good although i have only been seeing her for a couple of years.
I am sure there are some others I should be able to think of but I have just got home from work and yes the brain is dead LOL

Have Fun

Beth Andrews said...

Fun post, AC! I went to school with my hairdresser so we go way back *g*

I took my kids to the same pediatrician I had as a child...up until he retired about ten or so years ago. I'm just glad we had Dr. Nayak to get us through the baby phases of each kid :-)

Katt said...

CHiroprator, Dentist... two guys ya gotta trust!
My Dentist, like yours, bought the practice off my old dentist so I've got a combination of 25 years there...
Ah, I've also loved and trusted my horse vet for over 35 years!

jo robertson said...

What a great topic, Cindy!

Yay, Jane, I hope the rooster's not too worn out from the housecleaning workout I recently put him through.

Oh, Jane, that will hurt when your ear doctor retires. I'm trying hard to have doctors who are way younger than me so I'll never have to worry about their retiring!

jo robertson said...

How lucky you are, Marybelle, to have people so reliable!

You too, Helen! We're always scrambling around for a good mechanic. I think my husband finally found a guy who's reasonably-priced and knows what he's doing!

jo robertson said...

One of my professional people whom I adore is my cardiologist. When I had my heart attack 11 years ago, I had two different medical plans. My home is closer to Kaiser, which I had never used, so I drove myself to their facility.

Best thing I ever did. Dr. Fitzpatrick is not only cuter than Gray's Anatomy Dr. McDreamy, but he's very kind, efficent, and patient. I don't see him often (which is a good thing for a cardiologist), but I trust him implicitly.

jo robertson said...

Katt, yes! The dentist, very important person. I've been seeing my dentist for nearly 30 years. I asked him the other day if he was going to retire on me and he laughed because he has two late-in-life boys who have to be put through high school and college yet. Yay!

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Morning Everyone!

Hey Jane, YOU got the chook. Why do I suspect he's trying to get to NYC so he can 'crash' RWA Nationals?!? Please keep a close eye on him!

And congrats on having a great doctor you can trust. I've been through a lot of different doctors in the past decade or so and a good one is really difficult to find! I hope yours is a workaholic who resists retirement. ;-)


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

My cousin was a plumber and his son went into business with him. Unfortuately, they're in SoCal so I haven't found a good plumber here in my neck o' the woods.

Mutual respect is an important part of ANY good relationship, isn't it? And I KNOW everyone appreciates prompt payment. Skilled and excellent tradesmen, like your plumber, my mechanic and my hairdresser are not cheap, but they are worth every penny!


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

LOL Helen!
When you mentioned your doctors John and Paul I immediately wondered if they had associates named George and Ringo! :-) That is how brain dead I am right now (it's TOO EARLY here for me!), so no worries!


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Morning Beth,
Having the same pediatrician is VERY important. I didn't have to worry since I only had one, but my sis-in-law used the same ped. for all 4 of her girls -- a lovely SE Asian woman named Dr. Po. Now 2 of my nieces take their kids to Dr. Po! She better never retire!


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

You are SOOO right about needing to trust your chiropractor and dentist! My mother went to the same chiropractor for years, and he happened to live right across the street from my parents! ;-)

Vets are also VERY important people! Glad you found a great one for your horses. I will sing the praises of the vet who saved my lil doggie's life last Nov. to anyone who will listen! YAY Dr. Chancellor!!!


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Morning Jo!
You are up early. Trying to 'beat the heat' around here? It is suppose to cool off in the next few days but next weekend -- BRACE YOURSELF!

Glad Dr. Big found a good mechanic. I'll be happy to pass along Dwayne's phone # but inexpensive he is NOT!


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hey Jo,
Why am I NOT surprised that a cardiologist named Fitzpatrick (how Irish can ya get???) is DREAMY?!?! At least if he breaks your heart, he can fix it!

Sorry, couldn't resist...

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

LOL on your dentist having later in life kids and not being able to retire. I figure with my hairdresser I'm safe for at least another decade since he is now at the point of putting kids through college. ;-)

And that is also a good thing about my new "Baby Dentist." He and his wife just had their second child last year, so they have a 3 and 1 year old. NO WAY he will ever retire before I croak! HAHAHAHA!


hrdwrkdmom aka Dianna said...

My main Other man is my doctor, I started going to him through the recommendation of a friend (she is long gone by the way, lost her to my ex in the second divorce). Through me, my mother and aunt started going to him as well. He was with me through both of their illnesses and deaths.
I was there last week and as he was taking my blood pressure for the THIRD time, I looked up at him and he said "Wow, do you realize just how like your mother you are?" Uhh well yeah doc, always have been.....LOL

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

LOL Dianna!

If any of the significant people in my life knew my mother, they would say the same thing! I look just like her, which I'm sure you'll agree is not a bad thing at all. ;-)

When my grandmother lived with me (the last 7 years of her life) we went to the same doctor and it was GREAT! He has long since retired, but Dr. Johnson was a real sweetheart.


Cindy Sample said...

Great post, Aunt Cindy. It made me reflect on the men in my life. My dentist who keeps my pearly whites cavity free and buys my books for his staff:-) I switched medical plans and no longer have my wonderful cardiologist who helped me choose just the right poison for a short story. I'm sure I was the first patient who requested that type of help. And although I do not currently have a DH in my life, I have many DFF who will be on my doorstep if I need them for something critical (like changing the battery in a smoke alarm)!

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hi Cindy!
Thanx for stopping by!

I am ROFL about you being the first patient to ask your cardiologist about poison. ;-)

And yes, it is sooo nice to have someone to change smoke alarm batteries and light bulbs. My DH gets all those duties, mostly coz he doesn't even need a step stool, much less a ladder. :-)


Carol A. Strickland said...

I think that by being an Air Force brat I was never exposed to a long-term anything so I never developed the habit of looking for such.

The closest I could come to was the guy who dug my ponds and did my driveway—at both the houses I've owned—but he's long retired now. I've been with my car guy for about ten years. He's one of the few out there who don't try to cheat/talk down to women, and he kept my old Civic running until it hit 20. Then he found a sucker, I mean buyer for it!

Donnell said...

Hi, Cindy! I have another man in my life and I wouldn't know him if he passed me on the street. He's my critique partner. I know very little about him , only that he's a plethora of knowledge regarding history, military and current events and he's a fantastic action adventure writer.

The first book I read of his I literally got my globe to follow the places he mentioned in his WIP.

Our communiques are weather, otherwise superficial and writing related. But when it comes to military or geographical settings this guy is a godsend.

I can't tell you how many of my writing colleagues he's helped with an apt description of an ambassador's office or where another should land her fictitious terrorist's plane.

It's gotten to the point that if someone's stuck they say, would you mind asking...

I worry sometimes he'll drop off the face of the cyberworld. Not only me, but so many of us have come to rely on him. I don't press him for information, and yeah, I know he could be anyone, but he's always been above and beyond professional. And isn't this a strange story.

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

HI Carol!
Thanx for dropping by!

I too have encountered a lot of male professionals (not just mechanics though they are pretty notorious) who "talk down" to women. Needless to say, they never get my repeat business!

Glad you found an excellent mechanic, and btw, my Honda Civic is 9 years old and I'm hoping it will last at least 5 or 6 more years! ;-)


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

LOL Donnell!

Yes, who could have ever predicted the "friendships" we would make without ever seeing the people face-to-face! There are many of the BBs here in the Lair whom I have never met in person, but I feel like they are some of my best friends. :-) Family, almost!

I had a male critique partner for awhile, and I found his perspective invaluable. I hope you keep your CP around, he sounds like a real winner!


Anna Campbell said...

Cindy, isn't it upsetting when people who have been a fixture in your life like your wonderful dentist retire? It's a great argument for human cloning! My mother suffered from long-term bad health and it was a major drama in our family when the doctors who had looked after her for so long retired. And given she was a young woman when they started to look after her and they were already established medical professionals, it was inevitable that they would retire before she was ready to let them go. Oh, the trauma! And she never really found doctors she had that same wonderful relationship with either, which was sad.

Pat Cochran said...

Hi, Aunty,

We had a relationship of some thirty-
five years with our family/primary
care physician.

Pat Cochran

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Oh Fo,
That's too bad about your mother's MDs. I think it's very traumatic for anyone with major health issues to find a physician they can trust.

Hmmmm, maybe your cloning idea would make a good book...


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hi Pat,
How wonderful that you were able to find a good primary care doc. I've been through 5 or 6 in the past 10 years. :-P The one I have now is just "all right." The best thing about him is that his office is 10 minutes away and his staff are fairly nice and seem to be competent (neither was the case with my former MD's staff).


Paisley Kirkpatrick said...

I have so many men in my life, Aunt Cindy, I just don't know where to begin. ;)

We have a gorgeous dentist, too. He could be the model on a book cover. Don't ever have trouble going there.

My guy at the car place is so sweet to me, he always asks about my writing, gives me great deals and always makes sure my car is taken care of. Adore him.

The rest are friends who are absolute treasures, one is an addiction, one has been a dear friend for 47 years, and most of all is DH who has been my main squeeze for over 42 years.

Yes, I am truly blessed. Thank you for reminding me. :)

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

LOL Paisley!

Why am I NOT surprised you have so many lovely men in your life?!?! LUCKY YOU!!

Thanks for dropping by,

jo robertson said...

Paisley, what a sweet tribute to the men in your life! I totally forgot to mention my great sons-in-law (I have three). They're far more handy than my own sons!

jo robertson said...

Oooh, Pat, a "relationship"??? That sounds rather naughty as Fo would say!

jo robertson said...

Oh, Anna, that's so sad. I saw the same thing with my mom. She grew older and lost the doctors that had taken such good care of her. It was really sad.

Does Australia have a nationalized health care program. Forgive me if that's an ignorant question. I feel I should know!

jo robertson said...

Hi, Donnell, so glad you could stop by the Lair! Are you gearing up for National, too? We're a bit understaffed here this week.

You're right! That's a strange love story . . . and a beautiful one. It's amazing how you can share so many connections with someone you've never actually met!

jennifertanner said...

Hola AC!

I don't have that many men in my life. Maybe that's why I decided to write romance. ;)

I've had the same optomotrist for twenty years, but she's a woman. The only other person I can think of on a long-term basis is my friend in Chicago, who I called every day for work-related stuff. He's a fountain of information on rail matters and my BGF (best guy friend).


Pat Cochran said...



Nothing naughty about the friendship
with my former pc/md, I know his wife
and both his daughters, one of whom
is also a doctor. Now if I had used
the "R" word in regards to my fave
football player from back in the day........

Pat C.

Donnell said...

Hi, Jo: No, not this year. Anaheim yes. Speaking of boys, I have one getting married next year, so I thought I better watch the pennies, and from what I've heard, New York takes more than a few. Ya'll are doing a great job holding down the fort! Great blog.

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hey Pink,

I'm not sure why some of my professional long term relationships are NOT women, just the luck o' the draw I guess!

I've had some really good "guy friends" I've met at work too. I'm still in touch with a couple of them, but understandably, they don't really share my enthusiasm for romance novels. ;-)


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

LOL! Okay Pat,
SPILL IT! Who IS your fave football player from back in the day? Mine is definitely Joe Montana. OOO LA LA! Talk about a great hero for a romance novel!

And thanx for popping back in tonight Jo! Also thanx for trading days with me this month while I was out of town. You're the BESTEST!


Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Hey Donnell,
CONGRATS on you son's impending marriage! SOMEWHERE there MUST be a woman willing to take on MY son! LOL! Maybe it is the thought of ME for a mother-in-law... :-P

Please drop back by the next few days so we won't feel so lonely without so many of our Banditas and BBs!


Nola Cross ~ Expect Romance! said...

Hi Cindy: I want to talk about "other men" from the opposite perspective. My husband and I run a computer repair shop in a small town, and he is the "other man" for lots of women here. The more people come to rely on their computers, the more crucial it is to have an honest, skilled repairman they can turn to. Believe me, the ladies love my hubby. He takes lots of time with them, stays late, even makes house calls. He's a gem, and I hear it from other women all the time. He's retiring soon, while I'll be staying on to run the business. It's going to be bad news for the ladies in our part of the country.

Pat Cochran said...

It was high school and I actually did
date this football player during our
senior year. His name was Johnny and
he broke my heart! One other football
favorite, of the NFL variety, shall
also go by a first name only: Fred.

Pat C