Sunday, July 10, 2011

Let the Punishment Fit the Crime!

by Anna Campbell

I think it's time we played a game!

Stay tuned, there's your choice from my books to be won today!

Wahooooo as they say in the best of circles.

I'm kinda talking circles today - circles of HELL!

It's strange where blog ideas come from - apart from the big shop of blog topics which is a branch of the big shop of stories where we authors purchase the prefab kits for our masterpieces.

This idea came from a stray Facebook post this week where someone said she was sitting in the coffee shop in a brick and mortar bookstore which didn't have the book she wanted, so she ordered the book from Kindle. Shock, horror! The upshot was she asked her Facebook community if they thought she'd go to Book Hell as a result.

I made a joke about Book Hell being the place where every book you read has the last five pages cut out. Not an original line, sadly - there's a wonderful scene in the original Peter Cook and Dudley Moore BEDAZZLED where one of the Devil's little tricks is to cut the last page out of Agatha Christies before they're sold.

Oh, the iniquity! Oh, the spite!

So I started to think, for a reader, what would Book Hell be like?

SCARY, OBVIOUSLY!!!!

So I'm making you guys honorary naughty little imps for the day.

I know you're all such angels that that's going to be a huge stretch, but try, OK?

Well, for the Rooster it won't be a stretch and Ermingarde is used to dark caverns lit by fire. But I'm talking about the rest of the Bandits and Bandita Buddies!

Oh, and if any of you need help deciding on which book of mine you'd like, here's a link to the Books page on my website. Excerpts and blurbs enough there to keep you amused to the Crack of Doom.

Set fire to your imaginations and tell me what, to you, would constitute Book Hell! Would it be reading ALL the Black Dagger Brotherhood books and then having the last one withheld from you FOREVER? Would it be every romance you pick up featuring a hero called Murgatroyed? Let your wicked imaginations fly!

One lucky imp will win a very heavenly signed copy of one of my books - your choice.

And wishing you devilish good luck!

104 comments:

Danielle Gorman said...

I don't even want to think about never reading the last BDB book. I guess that would be my hell. I think book hell would be having any book that you want but they are all in a different language that you don't understand. That would totally suck!

Barbara E. said...

Since I love romance, book hell would be if all the books ended with no HEA, and one of the main characters died. Basically, they'd all be Nicholas Sparks books. (Sorry, Message in a Bottle scarred me for life.)

Anna Campbell said...

Ooh, Danielle, you get a chook - that could constitute someone's idea of hell! And what great suggestions! That different language thing is like a nightmare, isn't it? Or perhaps only the last chapter is in a different language? Ouch!

Anna Campbell said...

Barbara, fabulous choice! NOOOOOOO! I can feel myself screaming in horror already at the suggestion that all my lovely happy endings would end with someone throwing herself under a train or equivalent. Oh, man, if all the answers are as good as this, I'm going to have an awful time picking a winner! It's fun to think of book hell, though, isn't it? This girl's post really got me wondering what would be the WORST for someone who loves to read as much as I do!

Marie said...

Book hell for me would be if the books were written backwards, with the endings first! OMG I'd DIE!!!!! I don't want to know the ending until I get there! I don't mind spoilers, love them actually, but to have the last pages published first...EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK No, please, NEVER!!!!!!!

Christina Brooke said...

LOL, Anna! I think my idea of book hell would be where there wasn't anything at all to read. Nothing, no laundry lists, not even a cereal packet.

Second to that would be a place where the only books were written by men. Sorry guys!

Anna Campbell said...

Man, you girls really ARE fiendish! I think I need to promote you from imps to full-blown succubi! Marie, that's a HORRIBLE thought! Well done!

Anna Campbell said...

Christina, two horrible circles of hell for us to send people to. Nothing to read? As you know I DO read the milk packet (and am boring enough to quote it - yeah, conversation gets a little thin in the boondocks where I live!). And all the books written by men??!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!

leisa said...

to get to the last chapter and the final 6 pages are gone.....or you read a 8 book series and the 8th book is no longer in print...

Anna Campbell said...

Hey, everyone, check back tomorrow. The wonderful Christina is my guest here and we're going to have great fun!

Anna Campbell said...

Lisa, that last page thing has happened to me - and I was travelling in Europe when English language books were really hard to find so I couldn't easily just slip into a bookshop and find out what happened. Agony! And the out of print thing has happened to me too - back when the internet wasn't such a source. I still remember the pain.

Gosh, you girls are FIENDISH!!!! I think I'd rather have someone poking me with a red-hot pitchfork!

Anna Campbell said...

Sorry, LEISA!!!! That pesky 'e'!

June M. said...

Mine would be if every book I picked up to read was written in a languate that I could not read! Now that is a nightmare right there!

Tona said...

My Book hell would be if I could never again buy your books ;)
Seriously, if I could not read ever again that would be my hell. If I lost my sight I would learn braille right away so I could keep reading. That's how much I love to read. When I leave my house to go anywhere, if I don't have my book with me I feel naked LOL

Loucinda McGary aka Aunty Cindy said...

Book Hell, Fo?!?! LOL! I love it when you are fiendish!

I remember an OLDE episode of Twilight Zone in which all this guy wants is to be left alone so he can read. Well, the world ends and he is the only one left and he's in a HUGE library but....
His glasses are broken and he can't read a thing!

Or maybe he didn't survive and he was in BOOK H*LL! ;-) I know I'm dead meat without MY reading glasses.

AC

Melissa P. said...

I read a book that had a really intense scene going on. Two brothers are feuding over a mate one killed and wants revenge. The council decided to take the others mate and give it to the other brother. The ending of the book was "All Hell broke loose." I dont know what happened after the council's decision. I have to wait until the next book comes out in Feb 2012. That is an evil way to end a book.
I also agree with all the other ideas to.
Melissa P
porter32vasquez@hotmail.com

krazymama_98 said...

I think the worst would be a non happy ending and/or plain or not story applicable covers. I love wonderful covers. But when they arent relevent to the story. The heroine is a brunette, but a blond in the story, etc. I know, the author doesnt have control, but it still annoys me to no end!

The Romanceaholic said...

Forget the last few pages -- having the last CHAPTER of every book gone would be hell for me. I cringe now when some books don't have epilogues -- can you imagine not even having the last chapter?

Or no HEA's. Ever.

And every hero cheats on the heroine.

*shudders* I don't even want to think about it to be honest.

(and I want Claiming the Courtesan!)

<3

Deb said...

Book Hell is having the last few pages of a book missing. That has happened to me and I had to wait two flippin' days to go to the library and check it out to finish it.

Book Hell is waiting for the next book in a series to come out, sometimes over a year.

Book Hell is having all of the books of one author except one book, now out of print, but found on Amazon.com for
$145.

All of these apply to me. As much as I want Essie Summers' one book, I am not paying that price for it. :(

Laney4 said...

Hi, Anna!

Like Barbara E, Book Hell would be when there isn't a HEA ending. I have had that happen before, and I have whipped that book across the room, yelled at it (okay, I yelled at the author and publisher), and stamped my feet, etc. in total frustration.

Like Tona, Book Hell would be if I couldn't read any more. I have been scared on numerous occasions when I have had eye infections, night blindness, high pressures in my eyes, etc. that have lasted months. Last week, in fact, I went to the dentist for a root canal, got someone other than my dentist of 30 years, and he froze my facial nerve, so I had double vision for half an hour or so. I was scared s***less, let me tell you. (After an hour of frustration, he said he couldn't finish the job, and I'm going to a specialist 1.5 hours away this week instead. Love-ly. Just love-ly. At least I got my vision back.... But instead of costing $450, it'll now cost me $1,800! Can you hear how impressed I am with that idiot?)

Yup. To avid readers, there are many ways to reach Book Hell. Why, just last week, I accidentally dropped a book in my bath tub. Took forever to dry out on the vent and the pages were really, really expanded, but I finished it! It just wasn't pretty....

Christina Brooke said...

Anna, I can vouch that you DO read the milk carton. Who else would have known you have to wash them and take the sticker off before you recycle???

Oh, forgot to add that there'd be no pen and paper and no computers in that hell either so I couldn't make up my own stories for lack of better ones!

Gwynlyn said...

Book Hell. Not one historical romance to be found. Simpering heroines and Beta heroes. Or, worse, literary fiction by the boatload, and not a happy ending in the lot. We'd all need Prosac.

Lolarific said...

Book hell = Books with no ending, books in foreign language, books with overly needy heroines and wimpy men, one book and no light at all, and ones with no HEA.

I think there's a lot of scenario's for book hell in my mind.

Sheree said...

Having a book end with a cliffhanger and then having the next book's release date moved back and back (yes, I'm still upset that a certain series had a lag of nine years between books 2 and 3 - for a childen's book for crying out loud!).

Or, my current lament, having the author die in the middle of a series (I'm so not going to forgive Robert Asprin). It's not even having the last book of a series withheld but the last half of said series! Jack Aubrey finally becomes a Rear Admiral and then... and then... Patrick O'Brian dies. D'oh! (this is one reason I read YA - the authors are young and much less likely to die on me)

Na said...

Book hell? That would be seeing a couple fall in love, then separated, then reunited and in love again and then lose that love again permanently. Arghh, when I read a book I invest a lot of emotions into it, sometimes even fall in love with the characters and live their world in my dreams, and it all comes crashing down when the the unthinkable happens -no HEA. I am all for dark love stories, in fact I love them but I want a justified and worthy ending please :)

Book hell #2, when the HEA is there but not wholly deserving or in relation to the story. A couple face their trials and tribulations, there is all the angst, all the lessons learned and then...a limp, over-simplified ending which doesn't satsify at all. Sometimes it's the abrubt or contrived conclusion.

Book hell #3, having a series just end...but not really. Again, in series a lot of emotions and love for the stories is invested and I want all the characters to have their stories especially if it is hinted at or worse, has begun. I really enjoyed Brenda Joyce's Deadly Series and it recently ended, but not all characters's stories had an ending and it leaves a lot unresolved. I hope it returns.

Great post! Thankfully there is a book heaven.

Minna said...

Book hell for me would be reading most of the Harlequin romance books written in the 70s or 80s. How can you like a romance book, when you want to tell the heroine to run as fast as she can from the so called hero?

Minna said...

Book hell for me would be reading most of the Harlequin romance books written in the 70s or 80s. How can you like a romance book, when you want to tell the heroine to run as fast as she can from the so called hero?

Anna Campbell said...

Ooh, June, SCARY!!!! Wouldn't it be horrible if all this actually happens? We'd better be good so we go to book heaven!

Anna Campbell said...

Ooh, Tona, serious points for sucking up to the Head Imp (um, today that's me - I lose my crown tomorrow!). I can't imagine not being able to read anymore either - how horrible.

Anna Campbell said...

Cindy, what a fabulous twist to the ending - fiendish indeed!

Anna Campbell said...

Ooh, Melissa, I think I'd be swearing my head off if that was the end of the book. That truly is fiendish!

Anna Campbell said...

Interesting, Krazymama. I had a situation a bit like that with the American edition of MWP. Ranelaw is definitely a blond but he's dark-haired in the stepback. Mind you, he's HANDSOME and dark-haired so I figure I can live with it ;-)

Anna Campbell said...

Hi Romanceaholic! Ah, the whole epilogue dilemma! You know CTC doesn't have on? LOL! My last two books have had epilogues but not the ones before that. Must say, I've enjoyed writing the epilogues for MWP and MRS although in both cases there were major plot points that needed sewing up. Oh, missing the last chapter? Ugh!!!!!

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Deb, that out of print thing is a killer, isn't it? I've seen books by writers I love up to around $300 - never weakened yet to pay it but you never know! Sounds like you've already had a taste of a few of the torments of book hell. Bwahahahahahaha!

Anna Campbell said...

Laney, hugs on the dental/facial nerve troubles. That's just terrible. Idiot! I had a dentist who was setting up a practice and filled a whole stack of my teeth that didn't need filling. Of course, those are now cracking up so I have to pay for crowns. Still regret going to that idiot so many years ago! Hear you on the non-HEA. I don't mind if I know I'm going to have a non-HEA but when it creeps up on me, I hate it!

Anna Campbell said...

Christina, perhaps Book Hell is a GOOD place for writers - we write instead of reading. I remember my father saying to me I should stop consuming and start producing!

marybelle said...

Reading books where nothing is ever resolved would be HELL!! No HEA, no murder mystery solved, no closure of any kind.

jennifertanner said...

Hola Anna!

I recall the days when I'd go into a bookstore to special order a book they didn't carry. This was of course, pre-Amazon and Book Depository.

My idea of Book Hell...

The last few pages are missing.

The writing is so bad that I cannot get into the story.

The story is boring, but I keep plugging away and hoping it gets better but it doesn't.

The rushed ending where the H/H get their HEA but haven't resolved (at least in my mind) any issues.

Congrats on the GR, Danielle!

Helen said...

Well done Danille have fun with him

Anna

What a blog LOL book hell would be all of the above having the last page missing or any pages in between or have the ending first or not getting the last book of a series or no romance books at all I can't think of anything else that I could do to make it book hell LOL.
Just keep them books coming in perfect order please I would cry LOL

Have Fun
Helen

Daz said...

Hi Anna *waves* would you believe I'm finally catching up on my blogs? Three weeks away will do that to a person.

Anyway, a large, large part of my book collection is electronic. Most of my paper books have been donated, save the signed ones. It would be a total hell for me to wake up one morning and discover that an electronic gremlin has overnight deleted EVERY single electronic book in my collection. I'd DIE!!!

lgm52 said...

Funny blog...can't imagine reading a book "without an ending"! Guess I'd have to make my own up. Book hell would be having to read science fiction books! UGH!!

Judy said...

Book Hell for me would be when you follow characters all through the book..first they hate each other...than they are falling in Love...and then the ending leaves you hanging and you wonder..o.k. did they end up getting married or what?! So..you look for book two and there isn't any! What's up with that???

May said...

I remember reading one of Mary Janice Davidson's books and the middle parts were missing... It was a bad arrangement of the pages... I discovered this rather late in the day and couldn't go back to return/exchange the book. I tried to read the book anyways but it didn't make much sense. I eventually got the book exchanged but it was kind of ruin for me anyways.

Kat said...

Book hell would be Mr. Darcy never changing and Elizabeth still said, “yes”, all heroines were as mamby pansy as Fanny Price, the patronesses of Almack’s were as sweet as southern tea, A rake and rogue were just lawn implements and waves that rock the boat, and lastly there were never any HEA’s!!!

Michele said...

No romances! No fiction at all. Only books about golf.

runner10 said...

I like a book with a HEA. A book with a sad ending is bad.

Anna Sugden said...

Most of my ideas of book hell have already been mentioned - the biggest two being nothing to read at all or only those literary novels that have an 'aching beauty of despair'!

Books have to have satisfying endings, HEA's, the crime solved etc. The only books I loved that are not like that are Nevil Shute's On the Beach and Erich Maria Remarque's All Quiet on the Western Front.

I can, and usually do, read most things, but having only the books I hated (like Catch 22) available to read would be hellish too. Physics textbooks, books on politics, engineering, finance (sorry, Donna!) or DIY!

gamistress66 said...

eeeek, you prompted bad high school memory. Remember the class having to read an old classic (Silas Marner I think) where sentences lasted almost entire paragraphs and a paragraph took up the entire page. We read it outloud in class as that was the only way to get us to do it and have any chance of comprehending it in the slightest. Generally you only had to read a couple sentences because they were sooooo long and never more than a single paragraph. Of course I recall only dread factor of having to read it and nothing of the story.

So my book hell would be having to read books written in such a manner or (gasp worse) have them read to me by someone with a monotone but squeeky annoying type voice. And get zapped when ever you start to drift of into bored daydreams or sleep. Then be quizzed on what took place. Get shivers just thinking about it. Please -- I promise to behave, don't make me go there again.

Anna if I have nightmares tonight I'm blaming you big time and sending you there too ;)

Tona said...

LOL HI Anna! It was me, Delia, remember that I appear here as Tona because Google uses my middle name ;) And yes, I'm very resourceful when it comes to getting a great book ;) ;) hehehe
Delia

catslady said...

I am shaking in my boots just reading these posts! Aunt Cindy beat me to it - my first thought was that Twilight Zone story because it stuck with me all these years!

Or maybe book hell would be having to watch books burning!

Or it being too dark to read.

Okay, I'm going to have nightmares tonight!!

Landra said...

This is a hot topic! Go Anna for knowing how to get the banditas in an uproar! Congrats Danielle on the chook.
Now, I didn't read all the entries but my personal book hell would be:
-All my favorite romance authors write only non fiction business books.
-HEA only exist for villians.
-Romance scenes are written backwards and with very little description.
-If you even think of requesting a book, then expect to never read it. You must keep your mind free of future bliss essentially.
-The novels you want to read are kept on the top of 10 foot book shelves so you have to endure potential dangerous ladders to even reach the ones you really want.

LilMissMolly said...

It's funny how you say having the final pages missing would be Book Hell. Something like that actually happened to me. In 2003, we bought Harry Potter 5 and there were several middle pages missing! We ended up taking it back to Borders who asked no questions and said that they had several returned for the same reason.

Virginia said...

Book hell would be not having a TBR pile and no money to buy books with. Missing last pages would be book hell also. Every other page missing would be books hell. Sometimes having to wait two years for the next book in a series is book hell to me.

Louisa Cornell said...

Danielle got our fine feathered Imp! Good luck with him!

What a fabulous blogpost, La Campbell! What a nightmare! Book Hell?? EEEK !!


My ideas of book hell?

1) The only books published are the ones the Oprah Book Club deems worthy. The Road? Are you kidding me? I wanted to slit my wrist after I read it. Sheesh!

2) Every romance novel must follow the Nicholas Sparks Romance Formula for a book he swears isn't a romance but it is except the endings are vindictive and just plain mean!

3) All romance novels are edited by the ladies of the "We are self-righteous prudes with sexually inept husbands" Society and therefore ALL sex scenes are DELETED!

4) Books are only available in ONE genre and it is the one genre you swore you would only read at gunpoint.

5) Books are only available on electronic devices - no more print books - and some hacker dweeb with WAY too much time on his hands figures out how to infect all of those electronic devices and the source of all electronic books so that all books ever written are destroyed.

6) All books end like Gone With the Wind and the authors never write another book again.

And I remember that Twilight Zone episode. Everyone in the world was gone and the guy who never got a moment's peace to read finally found a huge library, trips on the way up the stairs and breaks his glasses. Now THAT is definitely a BOOK HELL !

sheila said...

Book hell....first would be Diana Gabaldon not finishing the next Outlander book and leaving everyone in limbo, then someone- Congress?- deciding that romance novels for women are obscene and will be outlawed.

Anna Campbell said...

ARRRRRRRHHHHH! Gwynlyn, what a truly terrifying picture you've painted! Goodness, you really ARE fiendish. We must get together sometime and plot mayhem.

Candy G said...

Everything that has been mentioned would be hell! For me personally and it has happened, when you get to the end of your book, and your waiting for a fantastic ending only to discover that you have to read another book or 3 to find out what happens! To me that is book hell!

Anna Campbell said...

Lolarific, once you start thinking of Book Hell, it's not hard to come up with torments, is it? I think the Bandita Buddies are doing a wonderful job. Perhaps there's a dystopian YA in all this! LOL!

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Sheree, had to laugh - you can't really blame the authors for dying! I'm sure they'd rather be alive and writing that new instalment. LOL! Perhaps they're all in Book Hell now saying that really they deserve to go to Book Heaven!

Anna Campbell said...

Hey, thanks, Na. So glad you're having fun with the post - I am! I actually was going to talk about something else today but the Book Hell idea sparked so many interesting thoughts, I postponed the other one. Oh, man, your book hells are seriously scary! Actually I think that's one of the reasons I'm not a soapie fan - because couples supposedly fall properly in love and then they break up just to keep the story going - wash, repeat. I want to think once they reach that happy ending, that they're in it for the long haul.

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Minna, I LOVED a lot of those books! Had a box of them under my bed and my mother threw it out - don't think I ever forgave her for it!

Anna Campbell said...

Mary, I'm like you - I LOVE closure (another reason I'm not a soapie fan). Oh, the idea of never getting that in anything I read would drive me spare!

Anna Campbell said...

Jen, it's interesting how some of this book hell stuff is turning into a good lesson in how to keep your readers satisfied, isn't it? I've done the plug on in the hope it improves and then it never does slog. Always book hell. Actually another book hell is when the premise is REALLY intriguing or the first few chapters have you sitting on the edge of your seat saying, "This is going to be something special." And then it just trails away to nothing. HATE that!

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Helen, I don't want to make you cry. That would make me...cry. Hold on, that doesn't sound very fiendish, does it? Actually another book hell for me would be all the love scenes cut and only *** instead. I really like the naughty bits!

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Deanna, what an 'orrible thought! So glad you've got all mine in hard copy (copies?). Snort! Yes, it's all about me! I am Queen Imp today! Welcome back!!!!

Anna Campbell said...

Laughed at your SF phobia, LGM! I used to read a lot of SF when I was in my late teens. I think I'm the sort of reader who loves genre - you know, you learn the rules and then just watch what a skilled writer can do with them.

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, no, Judy! I wouldn't be happy with that either! I really like getting the resolution at the end!!!

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, no, May! I had a couple of author friends that happened to - definitely not their fault but they had some really grumpy readers on their hands. I've had problems with that with a nonfiction book - but it wasn't much chop anyway so it was kind of a relief to have an excuse to throw it away.

Anna Campbell said...

Ouch, Kat! The idea of all heroines like Fanny Price? Book Hell indeed! When I first read Mansfield Park, I really hated it. I lent it to a friend to read and her dog ate it. Yay, I thought. Then she bought me another copy!!! I'd much rather it stayed a memory and roughage for the mutt, frankly!

Anna Campbell said...

GOLF???!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! OK, Book Hell just got seriously scary, Michele!

chey said...

Book hell would he HAVING to read certain books. I like to choose what books I read, and if I finish them.

Anna Campbell said...

Runner, I don't mind an occasional sad ending - but I want to know it's a possibility. If I buy a romance, I want a happy ending. That's part of the contract! LOL!

Anna Campbell said...

Anna, I promise when you come to visit, I'll only lend you books that don't come from Book Hell! Not long now, isn't it exciting??!!!!

Anna Campbell said...

Bwahahahahaha, Gamistress! I'm giving you nightmares? My work is done! Actually seriously, a lot of the options people have brought up today would give me nightmares too. Oh, dear, groaned at the Silas Marner thing. I haven't read it but I can imagine what you're talking about.

Anna Campbell said...

Hey, I'm all for resourcefulness, Tona. I thought it was you!!! But as I said, you definitely got points for saying such nice things! You know, vanity being an imp's sin and all!

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Catslady, I'm laughing at all you girls getting the collywobbles at some of these suggestions. Actually that Twilight Zone ep description really gives me the willies - eeek, broken reading glasses and everything you've ever wanted within reach? Seriously fiendish!

Anna Campbell said...

Goodness, Landra! Do you want a job as my EVOL offsider? I'm glad you like the whole Book Hell idea. It was so intriguing when I saw this Facebook post, I just had to dig a little deeper. By the way, your suggestions are nefarious!!! Love them!

Anna Campbell said...

Phew, Molly, at least you got the book in good condition in the end. I eventually found that book I bought in Zurich that was missing the last few pages but by that stage, it was so long since I'd read the book, it was kinda neither here nor there. I want the ending as part of reading the book, you know?

Anna Campbell said...

Virginia, the wait for the series thing is diabolical, isn't it? I definitely hear you. Oh, no TBR pile? I'd go spare!!!! Mind you, no fears of that happening here soon!

Anna Campbell said...

Wow, Louisa, you've put a lot of thought into Book Hell! Clearly it's something that's been preying on your mind before this! What an amazing list of horrible things that could go wrong with our reading plans. I think I might have to abdicate and make you Queen Imp!

Anna Campbell said...

Sheila, there's been a couple of really assinine articles in supposedly learned journals lately about how romance novels destroy women's lives (that's clearly something I do when I'm playing Queen Imp!). Maybe the Congress thing isn't too far from reality. And isn't that scary? What annoys me is that these ridiculous opinion pieces (they're little else - they have no research to back them up, obviously) get space in the media that they just don't deserve so all the stupid old cliches are just replayed and replayed as though saying something stupid a hundred times makes it less stupid than saying it once.

Hmm, you can see I'm annoyed, can't you?

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Candy, that annoys me too - especially when something promises me that I'll get an ending. Hear you!!!!

Anna Campbell said...

Chey, I know what you mean - it's odd, when I HAVE to read a book, it automatically loses some of its appeal. Mind you, if it then turns out to be great, it can gain its appeal back again.

Rose May said...

Book Hell - where punctuation and capitalization are lost forever. No spacing, either. Just a continuous series of letters one right after another. You decide where the beginning and end of each sentence, word, and phrase is. Could you imagine? Books as continuous streams of lowercase letters for pages and pages? I would just cry. That would be all it takes for me.

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, no, Rose May, that's 'orrible. I remember judging a contest entry once that had no paragraph breaks. So it was basically 70 pages of solid text. Still remember how hard that was to read!

Anna Campbell said...

Wow, you girls really do have diabolical imaginations. Who knew? I thought you were all sweet little things! Snort!

Donna MacMeans said...

What a great post, Anna! I'm loving...hating these comments. The one about missing chapters in the middle of the book? - That happened with one of my books!!!! A reader contacted me about the problem in one of the hard comvers. I sent her a new one then returned the bad one to the company, but boy...I felt so bad about the delays!

Book hell for me would be if there were no editors and every book was so full of typos and problems that you couldn't understand what you were reading (can you tell I've been judging contests?) Can we just say a special prayer for the editors? (grin).

Book hell for me would be not being able to read as well. My eyesight is so bad, I've contemplated learning braille as an advance measure! Hope things never come to that.

Finally, book hell would be no fiction. Not even bad fiction. I would hate that.

Anna Campbell said...

Wow, Donna, those are some really MEEEEEEAAAAANNNN Book Hell suggestions. And I always thought you were so nice! LOL! Oh, I hear you on the no editing thing! It would be terrifically scary!!! I can see a stage where I get an e-reader just because I can increase the size of the print. Read a book this week which had such teeny weeny print, it was obviously published for the mouse audience!

Nancy said...

Danielle, congrats on the rooster!

Anna, Blogger has been seriously wonky today. Glad I got through at last.

What a fun post! Book hell is any sort of missing pages. I actually got one that had the last 5 missing. I took it back to the store, and the clerk found one, or the six on the shelves that had those pages. I leafed through it, checking pages #s, before I walked out again, just to be sure.

In the larger scheme, not being able to get the concluding book of a series would be horrible. Especially if it's an escalating plot arc, like the Nightkeepers series. Or LOTR. Gak, that'd be awful!

Anna Campbell said...

Nancy, thanks so much for persisting. And apologies to anyone else who's had trouble getting on today. Clearly, Blogger decided Sunday was the day of rest! So glad you got a kick out of the post - the whole idea of Book Hell really sparked my imagination. Hope I NEVER go there!!!!

Janga said...

What a fun post, Anna! Your Book Hell has far more circles than does Dante’s Inferno. LOL

Book Hell is being given a stack of books to review and all of them being written in prose of varying shades of purple.

Book Hell is rereading being declared illegal.

Book Hell is being snowed in for a week in a mountain cabin with nothing to read but Finnegans Wake by James Joyce and a half dozen novels by Nicholas Sparks. (I think I’d opt for Joyce.)

Book Hell is being on a desert island and discovering the only thing to read is Moby Dick.

I had a fifth one, but Blogger ate my first post, and I’ve forgotten #5. Now, that’s another idea: Book Hell is forgetting all the wonderful books I’ve read over a lifetime and remembering only those that were torturous (like Moby Dick).

And I just remembered my first #5: Book Hell is having a stack of new books to read and finding the heroes are all faux alphas, with not a true alpha, gamma, or beta (much beloved by this reader) among them.

Anna Campbell said...

Janga, what a fabulous list. Here - I've moved over, you may share my Queen of the Imps throne! Sorry about blogger - heard from a few people they're having troubles today. Oh, I laughed at your idea of book hell. Actually when I travelled around Europe in the mid-80s, it got close to book hell as I couldn't find anything in English I wanted to read. Discovered a few authors I really liked, read a few books I didn't think I would like but I did (George Orwell's Down and Out in Paris and London was surprisingly fascinating, for example), read a lot of stuff that made me want to throw it against the wall. Definitely makes the invention of the e-reader sound like a good idea, doesn't it?

musingofabookworm said...

My personal hell would be to never OWN a book again. I love my books - I am very proud of my library (I have taken over a spare bedroom and lined it with shelves and put in a comfy armchair) and even though I can see the advatages for ebooks and ebook readers, I just can't go past a real paper book. Nothing better then sitting in fron of the fire (its winter in Australia) with my Hubby and my furr babies (lab & chihuahua), a good paperback and a cup of hot chocolate.

Di said...

The worst Book Hell for me would be if there were NO BOOKS TO READ ... AT ALL. It would be bad enough if there were no HEA's or no Romance Books at all (they were all confiscated by the mean Romance Nazi's). But if I could keep reading something I could survive. But nothing to read at all would truly be H-E-souble hockey sticks!

Linda said...

Reading the most amazing book that has me gripping the edge of my seat in excitement, weeping buckets (u get the gist) only to find the last chapter missing!

Or buying the loveliest batch of books online only to hv them confiscated by the local customs for containing "unsuitable content". It's happened to me 3 times already *sighs*

Anna Campbell said...

Hi Musing! Welcome to the Banditas. We love Aussies here - which is good because I'm one and so is the fabulous Christina Brooke. Oh, what a horrible thought, never to be able to buy a paper book again! That is book hell indeed. I complain about all the books lying around my place but really I LOVE them!

Anna Campbell said...

Ooh, Romance Nazis, Di! That's pretty much book hell there. And then nothing to read at all? That's just a cruel thought.

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Linda, no, that's terrible about the confiscation! How awful. Hugs. I had something like that happen with a prize I gave away in the Middle East. And I swear there was nothing particularly shocking in anything I sent (it was a package of books which added insult to injury).

Artemis said...

Book hell for me would be not being able to read whatsoever. Not anything at all! Not even the back of a cereal box. The absolute denial of any books. Now that is hell.

Laurie G said...

I hate hanging endings where you have to wait for the next book to find out what happens next.

I dislike missing pages, smeared ink...

Book hell is repetition recapping.. again and again and again...I got it the 1st time.

Excessive swearing or violence to people or animals.

Pat Cochran said...

Book Hell for me would be having all
the Devilish Ones swoop into my home
and remove each and every book in the
house, including all my Anna Campbell
signed books! Additionally the Devils
would place a spell on the house which
kept anyone from ever bringing another
book in! That would be Hell for me and
all the tears I shed would never, ever
extinguish the flames!

Anna Campbell said...

Ooh, Artemis, you sound like a compulsive reader just like me! I've read many the back of a cereal box!

Anna Campbell said...

Oh, Laurie, that banging you over the head with information thing really does get a bit much, doesn't it? Great choices of book torments!

Anna Campbell said...

Wow, Pat, that's some seriously mean devils you've got hanging around the house. Make sure you hang some garlic on the door and put salt on the window sills! Any devils that would steal your signed Anna Campbells really need to be kept out BIG TIME!!!! ;-)